>at Walmart
>scooterfats errywhere
>no more scooters for actual disabled people
>suddenly a wild snorlax appears
>already sweating mayonnaise after walk from car
>no more scooters
>hambeast has shitfit because she has to walk more
>mayonnaise flies all over the greeters as ambulocetus flails around and cries about bad knees
>a kindly old veteran appears.
>He has only one leg, but manages to walk ok with a cane.
>slips on mayonnaise and falls
>greeters proceed to ignore hambeast and get a scooter for the veteran
>hambeast starts screaming about unfairness
>tries to hit the greeters
>takes a swing, slips on own mayonnaise and falls to the floor
>police arrive and arrest the flailing greasepile
>mfw they search her and find an open jar of mayo and four kilos of chicken wings

> move into a sharehouse
> resident fatty dishing out nutrition advice
> preaching vegan shit
> lol fat as fatass

Forgot about this one. This guy wasn't my patient but I was working the floor

>working on a unit that was short staffed for the night
>ham beast decided to take his own life and kill himself via a cocktail of meds that would have put a fucking rhino down.
>God has a twisted sense of humor. This 400 pound sack of shit still lives albeit with so many tubes going into him he is more hospital equipment then a person.
>respiratory bros come up to see how the breathing tube is working out and they come out pale. Like sheet white.
> the smell from the guys breathe was fucking horrible.
>Me and his nurse who is like 5ft3 go in to check out what's going on
>it's a rotting smell like that kind of sweet musky meat smell, like road kill.
> I mask up, gloves a gown and she does the same.
>this tiny, ballsy nurse who is acting like it doesn't smell at all finds the source
>there is a fungal growth on his molar. The combo of o2, warmth, and darkness made it grow. I leave almost vomiting.
>specialist came in first thing in the morning and yanked it although the dude was most likely going to die. He said if it weren't for the drying effect the o2 had it would have been so much worst and there is no way he could have picked it up in transit to the hospital or in it itself.
>fat guy has a fungal growth in his fucking tooth.
>every time me and that nurse see each other she chuckles.

Fat people have no hygiene

Work with a really big aid. She's university loathed for her ability to be lazy. She was fired for being lazy before but her union fought for her and her 350 pounds of fury

>working in a unit where the adjacent elevator is the one connected to the helipad for life flights and it happens that we have one incoming within the next 20 min so the elevator is reserved for them.
>Hambeast aid goes on her lunch and that means she has to use the stairs.
>I call her multiple times but its still not picking up and she's late
>she's 20 min late now and I hear the elevator ding
>who but fucking fatass aid comes strolling around the corner
>"hamstar I've been calling you for like 20 min, I need help with this entire side of the unit"
>"yeah sorry anon my car wouldn't start in the Wendy's parking lot, had to get a jump"

Later on I check the card logs that let us in and out of the building and fatass aide didn't leave the building, she was so lazy she would rather be late 20 min then use the stairs. Then she got fired about 2 weeks later for fucking one of the security guards lol

>on my way to the gym, had to put some gas in the truck
>filling up I see this shitty old Lincoln slowly pull up to the pump in front of me.
>little girl hops out with a credit card and I can only see a mammoth shadow in the drivers seat. Then I hear it speak
>TELL DEM I ONLY WANT 12 ON PUMP TWO
>little girl runs in and as I'm finishing up putting the pump back I see her come out again while yelling "mama you have to come in to use it he says"
>All hell breaks loose for this fat ass "FUCK THIS PLACE ILL NEVER USE BP AGAIN GET IN THE CAW NOW!

Bitch was so lazy she sends her little girl into a shop alone at dusk and then doesn't get gas because she has to move. Fuck

This place is poison to me but its good money as well as good FPS but these lardasses are slowly killing me lol

>doing report on a computer with 2 of my co-workers doing the same. Coworker 2 gets up to get a coffee
>call button goes off for some junkie trailer trash who's in for the flu cause the only time she uses a needle it's for heroin
>360lbs women informs me she needs graham crackers because at 5:00am, why the fuck not.
>coworker #1 goes and gets her 2 packs and gives her the "sleep= recover" speech but this bitch hears what she wants.
>coworker 1 returns with her coffee and asks where 2 is and I inform her.
>she kind of scoff's and justifiably shakes her head.
>co workers 1&2 are back by the desk and we hear the trusty bed alarm go off.
> I go to investigate and find she opened up her giant leather purse and is eating pudding cups produced from said purse with graham crackers as the spoon.
>"fatty what are you doing?"
>"it makes my throat feel better."

Fuck this planet

> go into work a little early and the person I'm replacing on my unit looks pissed
> find out that the parents of a patient called the hospital and reported her for misconduct.
> the patient is a huge 34 year old man who still lives with his parents and is in the hospital for chest pain. After the ER cleared him to go up to my unit his food/fluid restrictions were lifted just until the docs could get in there and see wtf is going on.
> nurse told the patient this and he phoned his parents to bring him something that wasn't hospital food.
> when the nurse discovered 4 bags of McDonald's she said that wasn't allowed.
>hamplanets parents called and reported her
>doctors were pissed they had to specify you can't eat 15 pounds of mcdonalds
>fuck this place

>Boss at work is a 350 lbs man.
>My stepfather knows him well, he told me he drinks one liter of scotch a day.
>He also told me that on holiday, he goes in his reinforced trailer in his garden and just eat charcuterie (smoked pork meat with tons of fat, things like that) all day.
>I don't believe him.
>Chistmas at work, small party.
>I watch as my boss gulps down booze as if he was a viking hippopotamus.
>mfw he's so fat he is alcoholproof.

>working in the hospital
>hear patients bed alarm go off, we keep those on crazies or confused patients bed for such an event
>paitent is a Hambeast, easily 400lbs
>"why are you getting out of bed fatty?"
>"anon I HATE WATER, I HATE IT!"
>"We'll you can't get up, you can support yourself and you can only have clear liquids"
>"Coke-cola is clear, go get me one"
>"fatty no that dosent count as clear, only water"
>by this time my co workers can hear her with a mix of amusement and disgust as she begins to do that bullshit fake cry
>"Anon water gives me heartburn!"

Hospitals have given me so many FPS and I'm not a better person for it...

happened a few months ago
>gym bro and i at McDonald's post-gym (dat winter dirty bulkan)
>make my order, waiting for food, go to drink station and fill up
>as i take a sip of my water i look out window and happen to see their drive-thru line
>ambulacetus in drive-thru on scooter
>spit all over gym bro, look of horror on my face from what i've seen
>"man, what the FUCK?!" he's angry and confused that i spit on him
>i point, tell him to look
>he sees... "man... what the fuck?"
>order is ready
>employee says, "oh that's mr fatasfatass. he rides his scooter up here every day"

america! fuck yeah!

>start work in a new office as a fresh faced intern with 4 other colleagues
>they're all loud stumpy fat women and I'm an aspie 5'9 fimsy by comparison grill
>few months roll past, learn office dynamics well and how retarded they are
>learn fast to bring in my own water into the office as the admin would snipe at me for having to make her order more water for the office
>they all have bottles of soda and starbucks cups littered on their desks, never drink an ounce of water
>started to leave gym stuff under my desk so I could just go to gym straight after work, apparently they were under the impression they were dirty clothes and got written up for it
>next day the admin brings in her daughter and her bf to do filing for her, because that obviously isn't inappropriate considering it's confidential auditable material, swallow the warning because this bitch is helping to train me
>office doesn't have a fridge because everyone just goes across the street to some maccas, resort to bringing a cooler bag with my premade lunches
>maybe after two months of requesting they let me order a bar fridge, is immediately stuffed with their fatty snacks and giant bottles of soda
>still nowhere to put my lunches, fortunately I had moved not far from the office so I just wound up walking home to eat
>dress code is unheard of, they'd all be wearing stained hoodies track pants and runners regardless of whether they ran a day in their lives or not, $600 on business attire wasted trying to impress these careless pigs
>if they knew sexy pants supervisor was going to visit they'd throw on some pencil skirt busting at the seams and those loose flowery granny shirts that office dwelling hamplanets seem to consider business casual
>mfw colleagues skirt slits all the way up her ass, decide not to tell her when she goes out to lunch to stuff her face

endless fat people stories and fit shaming at my old office.

>fatties do some 20 min cardio
>doing rear flies in the dbell section they do 2 benches down and sit
>one of them has a written program and starts deciphering the drawings with fatty friend
>discuss a bit the picks up low weights and decideds to do ohp with wrong form, she even has a slight hunch back
>other land whale just watches the whole time
>im doing rear fly dropsets, mp3 on but still hear them make a comment about my odd exercise
>rack up bb for pendalays
>hear the fatty doing ohp say 'omg im such a mozzarella! all my muscles have gona away'
>cant help but giggle

Hey at least they were excercising. Giving them the benefit of the doubt here.

>Get job at McD's
>First day, Learning to use cash register
>First customer, all on my own, qt 3.14 girl that's training me is behind me waiting to jump in if I fuck up
>Orders $30 worth of food
>I forget to ring up 2 of his #3's
>Comes back 10 mins later literally fucking squeal/whining that he didn't get 4 #3 burgers
>Ask him for his recept
>Hands it to me, turns out I forgot to ring it up
>"Would you like to order an additional 2 #3's?"
>"Yeah, and I'll take another......"
>While ordering his lard son come up and whines for food
>They end up ordering $40 worth of food(That time)

TL:DR? First day of work fatty's ordered and ate $70 USD of food over the course of an hour

>Loudly proclaim how coke zero and coke light are for retards
>If you're drinking something unhealthy, just fucking drink it
>If you want to drink something healthy, don't buy fucking coke
>even people around me who drink it laugh, they're healthy enough anyway, work out regularly, etc.
>Hambeast behind me clears her throat.
>I turn around
>She turns her coke bottle towards me, "I drink coke light"
>"Yeah"

>Loudly proclaim how coke zero and coke light are for retards
>If you're drinking something unhealthy, just fucking drink it
>If you want to drink something healthy, don't buy fucking coke
>even people around me who drink it laugh, they're healthy enough anyway, work out regularly, etc.
>Hambeast behind me clears her throat.
>I turn around
>She turns her coke bottle towards me, "I drink coke light"
>"Yeah"

>be fat little 11 year old
>bowling
>look over at the other end of the ally
>see landwhale
>throws bowling ball into the air
>bounces it off of his knee
>rolls into the gutter
>rolls out of the gutter
>gets a strike

To this day not a single person I have told has believed me.

And this is why they make you buy two seats

Here goes
>Get a job at a binding factory (kill me)
>Me and another temp on a machine, in direct view of the vending machines
>Lardosaurus rex goes for her pre-pre lunch snack
>Waddles to the vending machine and fumbles in her pocket for nearly 2 minutes before she drags the change out
>Gets a chocolate bar
>And another
>Packet of crisps
>And another
>And another
>Gets cereal bar
>Me and temp bro dumbstruck, I say 'I bet she gets diet coke'
>mfw she gets diet coke

>fat ass fembro loses weight
>she did it to gain confidence
>no confidence even now
>stays with her horrible boyfriend, circles of friends and the like
>constantly hungry, and tired
>feel bad for her because she was actually happier fat

Fat Acceptance Logic

"Everyone should change their opinion to suit me because I am this delusional"

I don't want to go over the entire story since it's not funny and I just need to vent but basically

>fat ass had her sister drop her off at work
>she lives about 3 minutes from me
>tried to force me to drive her home
>said no
>entire office pressured me into it, I agreed just to get them to shut up
>driving home I'm listening to sports talk radio because I'm sort of obsessed with sports
>she starts shit talking me, my car, sports and says I don't know how to have fun
>as if this cunt knows the joys of pushing your body to the limits
>she fucking changes the station and I immediately change it back
>she changes it again and I say "If you touch my Goddamn radio again I'm gonna pop you in the mouth"
>she shuts up and doesn't touch it
>next day I am under "probation" and if I have any other infractions I will be fired

I would say it's 99% my fault but she just wouldn't shut up. Why are fat people so self absorbed and entitled?

>loosing weight steadily for past 8 months
>already lost roughly 80 pound
>roomate's girlfriend is fat as fuck and lives with us.
>ALWAYS pushing junk food on me / trying to get me to eat shit with her and her increadingly fat boyfriend.
>every few weeks says "THATS IT, I'M GOING TO GET THIN LIKE ANON" makes a big deal of it.
>starts eating heaping bowls of peanuts instead of M&Ms
>starts eating 3-4 CHICKEN sandwiches at wendy's instead of baconaters
>no exercise, only liquid she drinks is dr pepper and thawing icecream.
>Hear her swearing in the bathroom one day
>"whats wrong"
>"FUCK OFF SKINNY ASSHOLE, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE AIDS YOU KNOW THAT!?"
>i'm like the fuck?
>go in to take a piss, see the scale in the middle of the bathroom floor
>my face when I have no face

On an unrelated note, I caught her drinking my whey because she was out of milkshake mix.

>Be EMT
>Get called out at 4 in the morning
>Supervisor warned us that the address we were being called to called 911, 3 other times today
>Pt was a 400 pound guy with a 50 pound hernia that he kept getting stuck in the bed railing and the bed
>Get there
>sumofallfears.jpg
>Smell is terrible but tolerable
>Hernia is stuck
>It's actually oozing like a pimple that's on the brink of exploding by itself
>Puss is leaking into the bed pan below
>Partner threads sheet between his arms
>I thread sheet through his back
>"Ok we are going to lift on three"
>"three" Lift
>The smell of urine, shit, blood, and puss in the space that his fact was protecting from comes WOOSHING out from underneath as I lift
>Smell travels upward
>I get a mouthful of this
>Will never forget the smell
>Top 5 worst smells, Top 5 worst scenes

>Be 18 and attending a party of a friend of a friend
>Be beefy guy, not overweight but just no muscle definition - 6'2" 95kg
>Do lots of lifting, boxing, and hike 5km every day
>Have 7/10 girlfriend on vacation, back in few days so not looking to get lucky
>Mingling with people, meet some crazy dudes and having a blast
>Fight breaks out and one of my athletic friends and I jump in and separate the two drunkards
>Pretty good night
>Suddenly a wild hambeast appears!
>Girl goes to my highschool, and only reason I know is that I've seen her waddling around from time to time (easy 150kg)
>The birthday girl comes over to me and warns me that this behemoth has a thing for me
>She says she didn't want her to come and was only invited through another friend
>She apologizes to me and says to just ignore her if possible
>I totally understand and do my best to just stay out of behemoths orbit
>I meet up with some really old friends from my elementary school days
>Party in full swing going well
>Suddenly feel greasy hand grab my arm
>Reaction kicks in and I flick it away, turn around to see diabeetus standing there smiling at me
>I'm staring death in the face and the fight or flight system is kicking in
>Before she can utter a single word, saved by calls from the side gate
>It's athletic guy who helped me break up the fight from earlier
>He says he needs my help urgently
>I flat out sprint to the gate and he's laughing his head off
>We bolt inside through the side door and head upstairs
>We ended up spending the majority of the night chilling upstairs and on the balcony that overlooks the front
>All this just to avoid bushpig, he hated the stupid bitch from shit she did earlier that year
>He was laughing at shit the fat slag did all night
>I saw the giant greaseball sobbing later that night and learned that she passed out and broke stuff when she fell
>Athletic guy wasn't a wingman that night, he was an extraction team and I owe him many drinks

>be at work (grocery store)
>supervisor, but sometimes have to act as cashier if it gets busy
>it's busy
>hamplanet comes through my line with her daughter and grand daughter
>child remarks "this pizza is for me!"
>hamplanet says "man, I wish I was you. Seriously, she eats twice as much as me, and I still gain weight!"
>smirk on the inside
>child then says "that's because I exercise a lot"
>hamplanet has nothing to say and pays the total

I was so proud of that little girl.

>Be working at summer camp
>One week we get a new employee
>She is literally the ugliest fattest landwhale ive ever seen.
>Easily 400 lbs.
> would eat green tea powder and chocolate powder plain straight out of the tub with a spoon
> constantly complained about the rugged terrain and having to walk up hills
>her stench was unbearable, like a turd in the sun.
>staff cabins segregated by gender
>all the girls say she freely gets naked at night and farts horrendously in her sleep.
>I cant fathom the other horrors that happen in the girls cabin
>anyways she couldnt even walk 50 feet without having to stop and take a 5 minute break
> so fat that the staff uniform shorts we had to wear didnt come in a size big enough, so she just let the inner thigh seams rip and waddled around with her gargantuan thighs shuffling against eachother like some horrible suspended front-butt out in the open for everyone to see.
> one time the staff area plumbing clogged up and nobody could use the bathrooms.
>maintenance guy checks out the pipes and finds a massive pair of panties covered in shit and blood clogging up the pipes.
>mfw she got her period and bled everywhere and tried to flush the evidence.
>mfw this bitch actually thought she was attractive
>mfw she only lasted 2 weeks
>mfw i hate fat people

>At gym
>17 year old fatasfatass walks in with brand new gear, looks like she must be resolutionfag
>Goes on leg-press machine
>25kg
>3 reps
>gets off sweating like a pig
>drinks 1L of water and rolls out mat and does 5 sit-ups
>spends next 45 minutes walking around talking to people trying to exercise

>mom has been 100 lb her entire life
>is now starting to put on a little weight
>Decide to be upfront with her weight problem since she's been a fairly athetlic person her entire life
>bring it up during lunch
>"mom, you're gaining a little weight"
>"What do you mean?"
>"your stomach, you have a little ..ya know"
>"Oh, that's just loose muscle"
>Just loose muscle
>LOOSE MUSCLE
>MY FUCKING FACIAL EXPRESION

>be at grandparents
>mom is fat
>get call from her job at 10pm
>she had a seizure do to lack of fluids
>mom eats unhealthy foods anyways
>me and my grandmother go to pick her up
>joke some about her eating habits
>mfw my mom actually gets a salad for dinner and drinks water the next day
>mfw it might be the only time and she will go back to unhealthy eating habits
>mfw the next seizure puts her into a coma
seriously why do fat people think that they wont have medical problems from the way they eat, drink, and live?

>be 15
>be at a local town center with my friend
>he's high I'm not
>walking around in a tank top because I want to show off my traps and biceps
>walking over to car all the way across this big ass town center
>already tired from leg workout that day
>kind of walking slowly
>two hamplanets see me and highfriend
>hamplanet 1 says "you'd think he'd be able to walk since he's soOoOo buff"
>hamplanet 2 laughs and says "yeah I bet it's all those roids weighing down on him"
>highfriend thinks I didn't hear them
>nope.jpg
>turn my ass around and say "dude I forgot something"
>we catch up with hamplanets
>Say "Hey you guys been to the ice cream store?"
>"no"
>highfriend has no idea what im doing
>say "Oh well my friend and I just thought we would take you because you guys are kind of cute."
>both of them giggle and say yes
>start walking towards where car is again
>highfriend is like wtfbro
>say "You guys are pretty cute, you must get this from a lot of guys, huh?"
>hamplanets say yes
>yaokay.avi
>we get to the icecream store
>tell them to get whatever they want it's our treat
>highfriend and I already ate so it's all good
>of course they get the biggest shit they can
>start grinning like a mad man
>highfriend realizes what im about to do and prepares the door
>tell them they can start eating ill just go pay
>whisper to the cashier that they are stealing food
>cashier calls security
>walk to hamplanets
>say "It's all taken care of ladies, but you guys should really learn not to run your mouths when you've got massive cottage cheese thighs."
>they realize I heard what they said
>let out three massive protein farts before I leave
>highfriend opens door and we sort of speed walk away
>hamplanets dazed by my poisons
>Yell "Fucking hamplanets."
>leave
>mfw

Never heard what actually happened to them, but I'm sure nothing too serious.

>make a post on reddit about Django
>1500 upvotes, 300> comments

>make a post about fat people
>gets up to 2500 upvotes, but then downvoted by fatties to 1200
>4000< comments
>mfw so many angry fatties in the thread

http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/175ncq/if_only_genetics_werent_so_cruel_to_these_people/

>high school
>head computer guy is pretty fat, he was supposedly in the SAS and broke a leg when his parachute fucked, thus was honorably discharged
>one day some abos break into the school and steal some bags
>computer guy sees it
>gets a kid to call the police
>immediately chases after abo kids
>no joke, this guy is at least 120kg
>pulls himself/leaps over the school fence like it ain't no thang (it's about 2.3 metres high)
>catches up to the abo kids in seconds
>one of them pulls a knife on him
>slaps it away like it ain't no thang
>manages to grab both the abo kids and SITS ON THEM until the police arrive

it was by far the best thing I've ever seen

>>Work at mcdonalds
>>running front register
>>2 hobo lookin landwhales walk in
>>5 feet from counter and i recieve an onslaught of piss smell mixed with odor of rancid rot
>>Near pass out
>>Says they will take it light today
>>orders 10 burgers
>>brags how they came in and ordered 100 burgers once

I guess I'll tell the story of first day of class

>another group assignment, same groups
>turn around and start writing in my notebook what needs to be done
>same girl whips out a bag of chips
>Sun Chips
>bag explodes and crumbs rain all over me
>"I'm so sorry"
>as she eats them, starts telling the group how healthy these chips are because they're whole grain all the way through the chip, not just a small part
>end me

>be 27, go back to school for masters, go to class
>girl sits in front of me
>turns out shes thin and cute as fuck, and 26
>really want to just tell her, genuinely, thank you for not being fat

>A year ago get feed up with being fat.
>Get gym membership.
>Work out every day.
>Get on a meal plan.
>Told I look thinner.
>look in mirror still see fat fuck that I am.
>Work out Even more.
>Still fat.
>Eat less.
>Still fat as hell.
>Pass out at gym.
>wake up in ER.
>Told that I'm malnourished.
>Told dangerously under weight.
>tell them no I'm fat ass hell.
>See shrink.
>She says I have "body dysmorphic disorder"
I still see that fat fucking loser in the mirror every fucking day.

>be college
>adolescent psychology class
>get to class, start reading book
>smell a smell, a smelly smell
>can't pin point it
>group assignment comes up
>turn around because I'm paired up with the row behind me
>black landwhale brought a box of 6 piece fried chicken into class
>wat?
Talking to her equally as large friend next to her how she feels guilty that people have to watch her eat this delicious meal.

>mfw it's only the second day of this shit

>go to America for conference
>last day i go to am American super market
>wow, the aisles are so wide here!
>they sell everything in one place!
>scooters everywhere
>people on them so fat they take up half the lane
>three coming towards me
>one honks at me
>"Do you want something"
>"move it foreigner!"
>press myself againt the aisle
>one of them rolls over both my feet anyway
>"ARRRRRGH"
>"Watch it skinny!"
>I collapse on the floor
>"Always give way to scooters kid, we have right of way in this country!"
>guy in vest comes running over as i am still screaming
>calls for ambulance and police to be called over a radio
>see coppers arrest one of the riders at the gates, they are going nuts over how they have right of way because they are disabled, and the guy she hit wasn't even an American
>mfw i realize it was a family of three, all on scooters
>friend i am there with gets me away from the ambos before i am loaded into the van
>feet hurt so fucking much
>tells me that under no circumstances am i to go to the hospital here
>takes me to airport and fills me with painkillers
>get home after long flight, out of it most of the time
>paramedics waiting at the airport in Melbourne
>8 fractures across both feet, three in one 5 in the other
>mfw in a wheelchair and refused to use a mobility scooter when one was offered

>be high school health class
>teacher is a fucking cow
>torso pretty much round
>spent a week learning cpr
>exam time
>have to perform the heimlich maneuver on fat teacher in front of class
>my turn comes
>step behind fatty
>put arms around it
>pull in and up
>most disgusting feeling ever
>almost threw up
>sit back down
>next girl goes up
>can't fit arms around fatty
>she fails the test

>go to arby's for dat bulk (shit-tier for bulking though, never going back)
>walking in, see guy pulling his ambulocetus wife in a wheelchair
>I live in the northern tip of the bible belt, I see confederate flags fairly often, and I have never really seen a woman this fucking fat before, she's not insane by FPS standards, but she's not ordinary
>this poor guy is trying to keep the door open while he's pulling her in but the door is hitting her
>she bitches in her whalespeak
>this poor guy looks as exasperated as possible, like he's seen his buddies die in vietnam again flashing before his eyes
>this is so terribly depressing I think it's why my meal sucked
fucking fatties

This one is called revenge of the fit

>be at party
>chatting up cute girl
>out of the corner of my eye a cow appears
>notcool.jpg
>the girl and I go to the kitchen
>I grab find some ice cream in the freezer
>gave it to the fatty and smiled
>girl I'm with is cracking up
>fatty's friends look horrified
>fatty's face is priceless
>walk off

did that a few times actually

>in the metro the other day
>train arives, I let people get out
>nobody came out for like 5 seconds, decide to go in
>suddenly feel the train shaking, hear heavy, heavy breathing coming closer
>just stand there in horror, could not move, expected to get torn to pieces by some raging hippo or worse
>finally find the courage to turn my head and see the most monstrous thing I ever saw in RL
>a woman so fat that you could literally place a whole beer crate on her fat ass - which would probably even sink in far enough to be well protected
>mfw it took her probably 30 seconds to move 5m through the train
>mfw from that she breathes like she is about to die from an heart attack
>mfw I realize the cancer spreads worldwide

>at a bus stop
>two bitches so fat they had old people walker
>bus pulls up
>bus driver sees fatties
>bus driver walks to the back of the bus
>initiates air suspension
>bus tilts over
>pulls leaver
>ramp folds out
>fatties waddle up it
>took like five minutes
>proceed to next stop
>anotherfattie.org
>bitch is so fat shes in a fucking electric wheel chair
>not even kidding
>looked like an oompa loompa ate 10 oompa loompas and then chewed that gum that makes you balloon up except the ballon is filled with lard
>bus driver walks to the back of the bus
>initiates air suspension
>bus tilts over
>pulls leaver
>ramp folds out
>fattie goes up the ramp
>reinflate air suspension
>strap down the fatty so she doesnt roll around the bus like a bowling ball
>took like ten minutes

thanks, fatties

Why don't people ever talk about Russian genetics?

>High school
>Popular fat as fuck Russian kid that speaks broken English
>Playing basket ball in gym
>He gets winded, has to take a break
>Some people go over and talk with him
>Somehow they bet him that he can't do a handstand pushup
>He does a handstand
>Already surprised
>Hammers out 6 reps
>almost shit myself

>Have friend with thyroid problem
>/fit/ links me to a couple studies
>Tldr; thyroid problems only lead to about 15lbs of weight gain at miss
>Friend always complains about how she can't lose weight because of it
>She's about 50lbs overweight
>I sit there and bite my tongue so I don't offend my friend by telling her the truth

It's awful. She also won't believe me when I tell her lifting weights will help her burn fat.

doyouknowhowthisworks.jpg

>be shift manager at retail pharmacy.
>be third busiest day of the year (jan 1st) 5pm with 125 scripts in the queue with 4 flu shots waiting and no light at the end of the tunnel.
>Running interference as best I can at the drive thru.
>station wagon pulls up with this monstrosity of a ham planet with all of the windows down sweating profusely in 20 degree weather.
>proceeds to quite literally scream at me that she could have DIED waiting in the line of cars i took so long.
>imsosorrywhatcanidoforyou.jpg
>"I'm out of insulin syringes I need a fucking insulin syringe"
>colormesurprised.jpg
>I'm sorry ma'am, its store policy that we do not sell them through.....
>"I don't want you to SELL ME one! I want you to give me one its a fucking emergency!!!"
>She's screaming so loud my pharmacy manager swings around and rips the phone out of my hand "Show me the god damn insulin then!"
>she shows the bottle and he motions to just hand her one. mumbles under his breath "the biggest gauge we have" lol.jpg
>pharmacistdiscretion.jpg
>a half hour later hamplanet comes waddling up to the pharmacy counter inside the store asking if her prescription is ready.
>yes it is
>"can you ring this up too?"
>full on hands me a completely empty 2 liter bottle of mountain dew. and three empty snickers wrappers.

You brave soul

>few years ago worked at mcdonalds
>worked drive thru handling money
>manatee is behind the wheel of an suv
>purchases at least $30 worth of food
>says she has a coupon
>lifts her flabs and mysteriously like she's david copper pulls out a coupon that's covered in sweat and smells like death
>all of my wat

this is why you are fat

>fat sister, not terribly fat but overweight
>not in bad fitness shape, runs and exercises often
>"i'm just big boned"
>tries to follow paleo
>fails due to love of bread
>tell her that she needs to eat better and less food
>she tells me she already does this
>bake cookies, leave leftover dough in fridge
>she eats it all when she thinks no one is looking
>usually eats only healthy food, but over 3500 calories and 6 meals of such food daily

>be black
>have dyel white roommate
>he starts going to the gym last semester
>i go with him once
>he only uses machines
>makes no progress
>3 months later he gives up
>he says he's an ectomorph so he cant gain muscle
>he says i'm only buff cuz i'm black
>tell him i've been working out for 4 years at the gym
>he insists cuz i'm black
>i realize he truly is upset about this
>share my kfc meal with him and take him out for a grape soda afterward

>Hamplanet, being a hamplanet, has a typical hamplanet diet.
>Simple sugars. Starches. Greasy meat.
>No fiber. EVER.
>We quickly figured out that hamplanet does not just take shits
>She takes multihour dump-a-thons, and always comes out fucking soaked with sweat and heaving. She’s so fuck huge that she’s lost the ability to simply crap.
>With that taken care of, 2 of roommates and me are lurking in living room
>Someone brings up some funny ass shit. Not sure what it was, but I shot milk out my nose.
>Went to crapper to grab tissue
>Door is unlocked. Assume all is well inside.
>How did Ganymede get in here?
>Oh wait, that’s hamplanet. Legs. Wide. Open.
>THE SMELL. THE GODDAMN SMELL. Like a 15 year old tuna salad sandwich made love to a cesspit. Like a freshly opened can of surstromming, atop century eggs.
>PANTIES STRETCHED TO THE POINT OF FAILURE, GREY WITH FILTH, BEGGING TO BE PUT OUT OF THEIR MISERY.
>JIGGLING CELLULITE. THE GRAND CANYON MAPPED IN STRETCH MARKS. A massive 1970’s grade unkempt bush, a dreadlocked, crusted afro is my savior from further ocular trauma.
>Slam door shut
>Do not pass go, do not collect $200, run DIRECTLY to campus gym, spend rest of day showering.

The Legend of Coach Pat

>high school
>huge as fuck teacher/coach named Coach Pat
>essentially a fat as fuck, pasty, neckbeard, ball of fat, easily 400 pounds
>past is shrouded in mystery
>rumors he used to be a Navy Seal, Marine Recon, or Green Beret
>always very lenient with girls in his classes, forever cockblocking and being rude to boys
>in my 4 years of high school i NEVER saw him walking or even standing
>would always mysteriously be posted up in a chair in his classroom, outside collecting money for pep rallies, football games, etc.
>would drive his truck out to the middle of playing fields, various places on campus to avoid walking
>constantly see campus security transporting him with golf carts
>2 years after graduating find out he died

>be sitting outside apartment thinking about suicide
>sun is shining, beautiful girls walk by, the self hatred increases
>two fatasfatasses appear
>one 20yo the other 13yo
>both wearing all grey loose fitting weird clothes
>both having a 1.5l soda in the stomachpocket
>didnt even notice at first because the stomachs big as fuark from beginning
>they walk up to the antique-store next to my apartment
>proceed to steal chairs from their outside cafe
>they can barely get them up as the back of the chairs hit their stomach when trying to lift them up
>they both look at me
>now im fearing for my life
>thinking to myself “i dont want to die like this, i want to end this myself”
>they just stare at me and then the older one shouts
>”HEY ITS OK WE KNOW THE OWNER THEY DONT MIND”
>”I JUST DONT LIKE WHEN GUYS LIKE YOU STARE AT ME AND MY SISTER LIKE YOU ARE BETTER THAN US”
>”JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE A GYM ADDICT DOESNT MAKE YOU BETTER THAN US”
>im sitting there silent with my mouth open the entire time
>they waddle off
>lol to myself and go inside
>my suicide will have to wait for another day

>work in a lab
>fat as fuck 50 year old lab tech
>gets stomach staple surgery
>continues to eat taco bell for every meal
>still fat
>only talks about her dogs
>assoc. professor runs the lab since PI is director of pediatrics
>she's a bitch to assoc professor
>assoc professor hates fat people and has her perform bullshit assays all day even though she is a competent lab tech
>she hates her job which fuels her eating

>In a production of a musical
>The director must easily weigh at least 500 lbs and is a mean little man who chews out people a lot.
>The only thing he devours more than the souls of the innocent is food
>Talks about having high blood pressure and decides to eat a giant cookie in the middle of rehearsal
>Stops rehearsal in the middle of a scene and waddles out very unbalanced
>The two lankiest DYEL guys in the play help him out
>He collapses and starts vomiting and farting everywhere
>Smells awful
>Soils his pants
>Pale as fuck, looks like he's gonna die
>The stage manager asks if she should take over rehearsal and he can go home.
>"I'm the director! You can't run rehearsal without me!"
>Continues rehearsal, shit pants and everything.

I think we all know someone like this.

>Have overweight cousin on Facebook
>Looking through her page, see status saying "huge junk food craving, wanna eat blah blah details of unhealthy food"
>Literally the next status says "No idea why I keep gaining weight there must be something wrong with me I'm so sick of this I'm gonna see a doctor and find out whats wrong"

Was it still waving or was it fat waves rippling about

>be nanny, going to pick kids up at school
>nearby car opens up to reveal sentient beach ball
>beach ball lumbers to open trunk and retrieves a towcart
>beach ball dragging tow cart moves to walk across the street in front of my car
>I keep right on moving to get in carpool because there's no chance of hitting the beach ball as it's moving at <1MPH
>miss beach ball by a mile
>beach ball takes offense anyway and starts making these comically exaggerated expressions of offense and throwing hands in the air repeatedly and shaking meaty fists
>gut swaying back and forth
>it nearly drops tow cart
>lol heartily
>it keeps this up for over a whole minute until it's out of my sight
>get kids, go home, snack of melon and tea, play outdoor games
>damn it feels good to not have my own gravity

>work with landwhale
>she eats nothing but fried food and candy
>actually brings tubs marshmallow cream to work
>breaks office chair one day
>takes a month off
>comes back, had that stomach-staple surgery
>tells office proudly
>skips breakfast first day back
>brings out marshmallow cream for lunch.
>one month later, mystified as to why she isn't losing weight

this is a throwback story from mein youth

>the year of our lord two thousand and three
>be 15
>go to DMV to take learner's permit course with one of my best bros
>line to a table, money box, woman collecting money
>and by woman i mean fat wildebeest
>wildebeest is taking money, giving change
>wildebeest has a different denomination of dollar bills stuffed into the various fat folds of her gut
>stack of 50's in one fat fold, stack of 20's in next fat fold, 10's, 5's and 1's
>cringe as i have to receive change from a stack of bills that was wedged under one of her many sweaty fat folds

my bro and i always wondered where she kept any of the coins... but then again, she was so fat she probably just ate the change

not FPS but First World Problems

>work at resort
>man comes up
>can I get a refund, extra day at the resort or extra ticket
Work at Gizknee
>Whats the problem
>I got here a while ago and my luggage hasent arrived and they told me it would be here in 5 hours. Im loosing a day
background information...when taking this type of transportation you are told over and over again your luggage will not arrive to the resort right away. it takes 3-5 hours for it to arrive. no more no less.
>inform him of the policy
>"can I recoommend something?"
>sure annon
>You have tickets to go to the park, you can still use them or head dow to Down Town Gizknee and enjoy the day. You have free dinning so you dont have to pay for any food. Just enjoy the weather. By the time you comeback your luggage will be here.
>no we need to change clothing. We are in our travle clothing.
>find out he arrived an hour ago
>1st world problem. Arrive to Gizknee and complain because after being told your luggage will arrive within 3-5 hours of your resort arrival, you want a refund on everything because your mad you didn't bring clothing on your carry-on. His kid wanted to go to the parks but her dad was busy being a twat and tried to blame it on me.

he was fat? Does that count as FPS?

[No it doesn't.]

I know everyone is going to think I made this up and God, how I fucking wish that was the case.

>Work with fat as fatass co-worker for a few months
>Hated by all co-workers due to laziness and just generally being an asshole
>Always loudly talks about my "anorexia" because my heart doesn't pump mayonnaise but tells my coworkers how he's going to "split me in two"
>Ignore him, only thing he's splitting is 4XL jeans coated in Cheetos dust and cum stains
>Comes up to me alone crying and confides that he feels awful about his weight and doesn't know what to do, wants my help
>Take pity on him, glad he wants to make a change
>Invite him to my gym with me
>Shows up 40 minutes late
>When he gets there his eyes burn a hole in my yoga pants
>Super uncomfortable but get him to start stretching with me
>Less than a minute in he has to go to the bathroom, wait for 20 minutes
>We've been there an hour and haven't even worked out, I don't have time for this shit.
>Knock on door of bathroom and call out to him, hear violent sobbing, sounds like someone being mauled
>It's not locked so I open the door...
>What I see there will haunt me forever.
>He's hunched over masturbating furiously while crying, absolutely naked except for some black thing straining around his man boobs, almost lost in his folds
>...I-is that the sports bra I thought I lost?
>Is this even real life?
>He starts to scream when he sees me, tries to hide himself with his hands, rolls jiggle everywhere
>Start to laugh
>Immediately leave and laugh the entire 20 minute walk home, can't breathe I'm laughing so hard.
>He never comes in for work again.

I'm not sure I'd believe it if it hadn't happened to me. My boss told me I should try to press charges (for I don't even know what, creepiness?) but I just wanted to never see him again.

I didn't continue the conversation, but people at work are fucking idiots.

>I'm the beta in this one.
>at work
>two hambeast co-workers next to me start talking about pilates and typical bullshit fat people workouts
>one of them (39 year old unmarried bitch) says she just hired a trainer, had an awesome workout of curls and bodyweight squats 5x15 and the trainer says she can keep eating whatever she wants
>politely say that she should probably look for a new trainer depending on her goals, because the current workout routine sounds fishy and won't help her get in shape
>she says its not like i would know better than a PAID trainer
>me: linebacker in high school, still pretty huge, lifts regularly
>bertstare.jpg

God dammit I love them but I can already feel my face getting fatter.

>4 stereotypical old Italian Aunts and Uncles over to visit my father who's dying of cancer. One of the few times I've seen them since I was a kid
>Living in my house the past week and a half.
>Can't go 30 minutes without them asking me if I'm hungry and subsequently offering me some sort of food.
>breads, pastas, donuts, pastries, pizzas.
>Carb City bitch.
>I tell them I'm trying to cut down more but they continuously reassure me I'm a strong handsome man already and I'm making them so proud in school.
>Say "thank you" for the food and eat it while they talk to me about helping them do various household chores like sweeping the fans.

>mfw

Now this is an inspiring story

>Be me, former fatass hog sweating fuck 6'2" 290, now 185 at 23
>Family is obese but willing to change now that they see my progress
>My unhealthy choices got me here
>Cut out processed foods and soda and replaced with veg and dat protein
>Still live and work near uni
>Now pounding more vag in 6 months then I ever did in undergrad
>Some 4/10 but mostly 7s don't care still sex
>Bishs be swooned by body, confidence, and $
>Still have loose skin but those are reminders of past
>FPS was a great motivator
>To fatties: Buy an exercise bike then you have no excuse to not work out due to embarrassment
>SO to gym rats that pound it when I was in gym and saw I was motivated
>this site saved 5 hamplanets

Pound that mound my friend.

>saw my cousin today (who's like a sister to me)
>haven't seen her in years; last time I saw her was probably 3 years ago and was chubby
>see her and she's put on twice the weight (at least 250lbs, and she's probably 5'5-5'6)
>she's 19 years old and a fuckin' basement dweller
>doesn't work; doesn't go to school
>just plays xbox 360 all day
>every once in a while makes arts and crafts
>trying to encourage her to either work or go to school
>don't bring up weight b/c she's sensitive about how fat she is
>wishing she would bring up my weight loss (lost almost 100lbs since last time i saw her) so i could try to encourage her to lose weight
>makes me depressed that she hates herself so much that she's refusing to live life and be happy

>husband use to be fit but chubby
>few days ago threw his back out by sucking in his gut while trying to button his pants
>complains that he's becoming a hamplanet and wants to do something about it
>tell him to exercise and eat healthier
>next day it's dinner cheat day (hooray)
>have him pick up small meal from taco bell
>husband comes back and tells me that he decided to "treat himself"
>he gets to 1/2lbs burritos for himself and stop over at a wienerschnitzel to pick up a chili dog as well
>mfw

>Be at Hometown Buffet today with my family
>Decide to try to eat healthy in spite of being at Hometown fucking Buffet
>Get some salad, get some steamed veggies and some fish, get milk to drink
>Sit down with my plate at the table
>Find myself locking eyes with Jupiter at another table
>He gives me a scowl as he sees my physique and the food I have on my table
>Puts on a jackal grin, and takes a big bite out of his fried chicken
>Finishes one plate, comes back with all sorts of fatty, unhealthy food
>Eats them like some sort of exotic dancer but with food
>Try my hardest not to let me family notice I am on the verge of puking this entire time while I quietly eat what little I can of my semi-healthy food
>Get up to leave, hamplanet waves goodbye to me

Seriously, what the fuck?

>work at family video
>these fuckin people already
>people by our expensive as fuck candy
>fat fucks who think "Cookie Dough Bites" are actually good
>disgusted everyday

Not really a story, but these niggers spend so much money on shitty candy and pop. Like, there one trip to the video store's candy selection could buy my rice for a month. And I'm not even getting fat off of it.

> be 3 years ago
> be at party
> host has hamplanet best-friend over
> both hamplanet and host get absolutely plastered
> fast forward to 2 a.m.
> at this point fatass had annoyed almost everybody at the party
> fatass 1 falls asleep in a chair
> host is flirting with me, all is going well
> friend points out a big, dark spot spreadring outwards from fatass 1's crotch
> host hysterically tries to clean her up
> "help me anon, please"
> lel
> decide to laugh and take pictures instead
> get thrown out

in hindside yes, I could've gotten laid, but I'd have had to touch the damn thing, fuck that

>go to Albertsons for groceries
>walking around trying to remember what was on my shopping list
>some old guy with his probably land whale daughter crossing the isle or whoever you spell it
>old guy passes
>landwhale stops and looks at me
>giggles and tells me to go ahead
>be alpha gentlemen and smile slightly and wave for her to pass
>she looks down and blushes, giggles, and does a little hope up saying "hehehe thanks" obviously embarrassed
>obvious animu watcher
>she passes me
>i keep walking
>think to myself "fucking landwhale.

This happened to me two days ago
> leaving Costco
> walking to parking lot and see the biggest hamplanet on the face of the earth
> 450 pounds easy
> she just finished loading up her groceries into her car waddles to the driving seat. Literally waddles.
> opens her car door and takes out a tub of something
> starts to rub this clear substance on her stomach, all over.
> Finally make out what the tub is " Vaseline".
> think "wtf is this lard ass doing?"
> she plops in her car, with her gut literally jammed into the steering wheel, i wouldn't be surprised if there's an imprint on her stomach when she gets home
> then i realize the use of her vaseline.
> her gut is so big, that the steering wheel can't turn unless shes lubricated.
> she turns to wheel for about 30 seconds, back and forth until it's completely lubed up, then drives away.

I stood there for a good 2 minutes trying to comprehend what i just saw.

> be 21 in American College
> overwhelmed with 21st century trans-fat society
> make my way to cafeteria, fending off fat-scooters right & left
> standing in line, see that mac&cheese is on the menu
> 2 bitches behind me see the sign
> "omg, It's mac and cheese tonight"
> they start clapping overjoyed
> the clapping spreads throughout the cafeteria
> everybody's clapping for mac & cheese
> standing ovation for the chefs

the fuck

iktfb

>Talking over phone based messenger to qt I'm digging
>not slim but not fat either, nice balance with good facial aesthetics
>get onto me dieting and working out briefly
>"I don't even get why you watch what you eat, you workout so it doesn't matter"
>tfw quite liked her prior to that sentence

>hotel front desk
>minding my own business watching Dexter when a pair of lardcomets (mom/daughter) come up to greet me
>not so much greet as smile with yellow stained teeth while pretending not to be breathing so hard from the walk from their room
>"Can you break this $20?"
>10 bill, 5 bill, '5' 1 bill
>"Oh we're going to get a snack can I get more 1's?"
>I am sure you are
>20 1 bills
>next 6 minutes is a non-stop plinko machine of keybeeps and falling whale treats around the corner
>mother waddles around the corner with another $10 bill
>...oh please god no
>break it again
>she comes around the corner again and asks for an ice bag to hold all their candy and chips because their blubberly flippers couldn't balance the two dozen articles of shit they just bought for a "snack"

These two are regulars.

This has happened before.

She has hit on me before.

Hard.

I do not enjoy this job very much.

>out at the club
>getting late and I'm drunk as fuck
>this chubby chick has been eyeing me all night
>ohfuckit.jpg
>take her home with me
>start fucking against a wall
>she keeps slipping out of my grip because she's fat and sweaty
>tell her to wait a second
>grab chalk from my gymbag and chalk up
>proceed to fuck her brains out

felt good man

>Be hotel clerk
>Guests eating breakfast brought their own donuts
>Obeastity incarnate comes up to offer me some of her donut box
>"No thank you, ma'am"
>Her: "Are you sure, anon?"
>"Yes I ate already, but thank you"
>Her: "They're Krispy Kreme"
>"No I'm fine, but thanks"
>Her: "Just try one"
>Irritated at this point "No, I don't eat unhealthy foods, ever. Stop shoving donuts in my face"

Admittedly that came off as condescending and not very customer service-y, but for fuck's sake, if I say "No thank you" twice, there's no reason to keep trying to force me to take one of your donuts.

>Be morbidly obese
>Lose over 100lbs over two years, coworkers generally supportive, complements and shit
>Receptionist is a bowling ball, approximately five foot in diameter
>Asked me how to lose weight when I was about 50lbs down, tell her I found out the secret is to eat less. She laughs and from that day on starts bothering me daily about what my "real" secret is.
>Explain calorie counting one day.
>"What program?" "uh no program, just counting the calories" "How much does it cost?" "Uh, free." Just laughs and keeps bothering me for my secret.
>Finally sit down with her one Friday when it's just us in the office and get her to take me seriously.
>"It really is just calorie counting, you always say you want to lose weight, I'd really like to help you."
>We figure out her TDEE, get her the myfitnesspal app, etc.
>She's genuinely appreciative, feels like she has the information and tools she needs, and we even plan her meals for the following week.
>Monday she comes in late, "Sorry I'm late my husband found this new gym that's only $10 a month so now I don't have to diet! We're going to do the treadmill every morning."

Fuck it.

>grew up in sports-oriented family
>all siblings, dad, mom were huge into competitive sports
>mom starts being a cunt when my sibs and I are in junior high
>dad gets really depressed/angry/unmotivated
>starts gaining weight because all he does is drink case after case of beer
>10 years later, dad is slovenly celestial body
>damn near 450 pounds
>dad calls up the other day, "hey son let's go gambling I'll teach you all I know"
>pick him up at his house, he can walk but it's more like awkward toddle-wobbling
>he's out of breath when he reaches the car
>get to casino, forget that dad can't move well, so park in the usual garage that's a decent walk away from the gaming hall
>we start walking, get about 20 feet and he says he needs to sit and rest
>he sounds like he's dying, wheezing and gasping
>tells me to go ahead and he'll catch up
>shrug and move on, wait 20 minutes, decide to go look for him because shit it's been 20 minutes
>can't find him, so give his cell a ring
>"oh hey son I got the shuttle to take me to the front, meet me there"
>go to front of the gaming hall, he waddles in through the doors with an ice cream
>"Dad where the hell did you get ice cream?"
>he explains that there was one of those froyo self serve stations on the way to the elevators that go to the parking shuttle
>my dad is going to die soon

>Be 17 on AOL... Find a cutie from GA..
>I be Mirin' that pic of hers
>Imagine what I'm going to do to that innocent >Southern ass. Too bad I live in CO.
> Go to university.. a year later she tells me she
>transferred to my Uni..
>yay.jpg
>Go to her dorm room. Jupiter answers the door
>is xxx there please?
>no she is not, sorry.
>cry.exe when it turns out Jupiter was her.....
>Fukyoubitch.rar for lying to me about being cute.
>and sending me a pic from years ago...
>weighing at least 100 lbs more now...
>and acting like you have the moral high ground
>when I don't want to touch that.....
>Jupiter worked as card swiper at rec center
>So she would give me the yourapist.png look
>every time I walked in.

>be a tradesman doing real work
>need to get paperwork for current sitework from office
>two fat women inhabit the office
>go into office to find paperwork
>oh god the smell
>five or six open plastic containers containing curry, soup, left over sausages, pizza etc
>musty sweaty fatty smell mixed with this
>also tea, they drink tea non stop
>complete barrage of my smell sense
>they are sitting watching YouTube clips and guffawing
>leave immediately
>get the apprentice to find the paperwork instead.

> Be today
> Be cashier at major grocery store
> Baggin shit like a cashier does
> Up comes Saturn and presumably her daughter Titan
> Lays out relatively healthy food (caught me off guard)
> Lean Quizene, Weight Watchers, fruit and veggies
> okay.jpg maybe they are trying to be healthy
> Continue scanning, they strike up a conversation about trying to lose weight but it doesn't seem to be working
> Out of no where a random dozen of donuts appear
> what.exe
> Another appears, ice cream follows, 2 liters approach, seemingly endless belt of candy
> They keep preaching that losing weight is impossible
> I tell them to look at whats on the belt and see how unhealthy it is
> Saturn angry
> Explain to them that if they cut all this out of their diets they will begin to lose weight faster, and save a ton of money
> Saturn furious
> Tells me thyroid problem + big bones + genetic + gym is expensive + healthy food is expensive
> Is buying $103 worth of junk food
> ohwell.jpg I tried
> Wish them a good day and begin on next customer
> 15 minutes later manager tells me I am going to be put through sensitivity training or be fired.
> allofmywat.dll

Fatty Science strikes again

Looks like someone... already did .. YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !

>all that fatty sweat covering jabba's face
>bringing up puking out of nowhere
it's liek the absolutely can't comprehend the idea of someone not stuffing their face 24/7, so they think that everyone must eat as much as them but throw it all back up.

Okay no more Sex With Fat People stories

Yes some (a lot) were pretty shit, there was a backlog of sex with fat people stories. There's one more, then we'll be back to our regular programming.

Also still looking for FREE information for health, fitness, weight control, etc. If you got a link postem.

Veni. Vidi. Vici.

Check it:
>Out at bar with bros, arrive considerably late because we were barhopping
>Already pretty smashed from previously ingested drinks
>Try to dance with a 6.34/10 but she's a fucking stuck up cunt
>Walk to the bar, ask for 7&7, Blonde landmass eyeing me something fierce
>MY DICK IS GETTING WET
>Best bro notices me walking in her direction and tries to stop the massacre before it begins
>Tell him it's too late, I've already committed to the sacrafice
>Engage Diabeetus Betty with my witty banter
>Tell this bish I wanted to squirtle on them jiggly puffs
>The oils in her deep fryer begin to churn, it's off to her place
>Talks to me about niggers constantly hitting on her on the ride there (Why am I not surprised?)
>Her apartment is literally just a fridge and a mattress on a box spring, wreaks of weed
>She strips down to bra and panties
>Gelatinous waterfalls of fat EVERYWHERE
>Body has no shape to it whatsoever
>She puts on the condom
>IT'S GO TIME
>Fuck her missionary and become hypnotized by melodic waves of fat rippling between her cunt and chin
>Get completely disgusted and tell her to flip over for doggie
>OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE
>Her ass is literally none existent
>Somehow, her fat has managed to avoid her tits and ass completely and conglomerated into one giant gunt, her gut and her cunt successfully became one entity.
>Midway through fucking her doggie I lose my erection
>She starts gobbling my giblets like a turkey dinner
>Boner revived
>Fuck her doggie one last time until I'm completely disgusted
>In fear of losing my hard on again and having the night be a complete waste, I tell her to lie on her back so I can come on her tits (Which were more like loose sacks of skin)
>After about 5 sets of 30 reps on my dick, I finally bust one
>Wipe my dick on her mattress and tell her I gotta get back to my friends
>Leave her apartment and call one of my bros to get me

A birthday to emewmber

>Out partying for mates birthday
>Getting shitfaced, pub crawl, "no 2 drinks the same" rule, 2 drinks per pub rule. Shots every now and then
> Fuckin rat shit at end of the night, don't wanna go home without some action
> Chubby bitch shows some interest, being super beta trying to carry me/help me etc. Keeps alluding that she wants me to crash at her joint for the night, presumably to rape
>End up going home with her
> Get to her house, she lives alone, awesome, easy to bail in the morning
> Fall on the bed full clothed, ready to pass out
> Bed makes crinkly noise, like fuckin cellophane
>she cannon balls me, starts fuckin gorgin at my face with her big mouth, cheeks slobbery against my face
>Still remember the feels, like vietnam, shell shocked.
>Decide fuck it, might as well fuck it, no one has to know
>Start fucking her, wasn't so bad, she was chubby but nice face, nice eyes, big tits, kinda like typical heavy metal fan chick
> She stops and reaches under her bed and pulls out these fuckin black beads
>Wants to put em up my ass
>Whatever gets you off, drunk as fuck, go to town chubcitybitch
>Beads up my ass and she starts jerkin my dick telling me to cum on her
> Feels awesome
>Bout to blow my shit
>"Im gonna cum"
>Bitch REEFS beads out of my ass
>Shit billows out like fucking smog from a cargo ship
>Shit and cum everywhere
>She does like chubby giggle, smearing cum all over her tits, doesnt give a fuck about the shit
>Freaking the fuck out, put all my clothes on
>Shit running down my leg as I pull pants over the top and do my belt up
> She's loving the shit and cum fuckin snowball mudfest on her bed
>I dont say a word, bout to fuckin leave
>Realise the bed is covered in plastic
>Sheplannedthis.jpg
>Get the fuck out of there
>Had to tell my friends
>Never saw her again
>Never forget.

all of my shame

>fat female friend has been hinting that she wants the d
>pick her up, hang out for a bit
>says she wants mcdonalds
>cheap date, i'm not against it
>buy her mickey dees. she orders twice as much as me
>suggest we go back to my place to eat it
>once finished, she proceeds to give me a blowjob
>it's meh
>i splooge in her mouth, proceed to fuck her
>meh
>splooge again
>i ask, "what do you wanna do now?"
>"i'm hungry. how about some taco bell?"
>bertstare, i'm still full as fuck from last meal
>get her taco bell and drop her off back at her place

she kinda slutted around my group of friends for a few years. i can safely say we've all banged her out one time or another. we always share lulz.

epilogue
>she has the beetus now, and is fatter than ever

>Dumped by my 7/10 gf.
>Month passes.
>Had mild success with craigslist whores in the past.
(ALL craigswhores are damaged goods in some way, don't forget that.)
>Find a hairdresser/burlesque dancer.
>Perfect mix of lack of ambition in life and lack of inhibition required for casual sex.
>search her email, find her pictures
>she's 5'10" and at least 210
>hesitate for a moment
>"ohemgee #yolo"
>Take her for subpar sushi
>Go to my house, put on an episode of Arrested Development.
>Giving fewer fucks as I find she has the personality of a dry sponge.
>Take my finger and use it to direct one of her chins to face me.
>Make out.
>First observation: she won't move.
>Doing some light petting, I can tell she's into it.
>But still petrified.
>Take her to the bedroom, strip both us down, she plants herself on her back.
>Says she doesn't give good blowjobs.
>I go blank.
>She's clean and has nice skin, so I decide to eat her out, maybe it'll help her loosen up.
>Nothing special.
>I mount.
>She's not particularly tight (I'm average)
>She's enjoying it.
>I get off once.
>Talk for a while, I get even more bored by stories of hair customers so I shut her up by fucking her again.>Get off twice (I'm a little surprised.)
>Still lies like a dead carp the entire time.
>I make up something about picking up my friend at 12:30a and kick her out.
>Take a shower.
>Call up my ex and convince her to let me come over.
>We fuck like animals until 4a, my manwhore shame is negated by pushing the soulless experience out of my head.

>be drinking at apartment swinming pool
>Two land whales mirin' me from the deep end
>Always had been curious What chubby monkey was like.
>start drinking like its my job, get as hammered as fast while chatting up these fatties.
>Finally feel drunk enough
>"my name is anon and I live in apartment 212"

I honestly would have had a threesome but only one of them fit on my twin bed.

Btw I'm a grill

>local coffee shop hires me and one other girl
>other girl is very tall ambulocetus
>everyone else in shop is small and wiry due to caffeine stunting growth
>training
>boss identifies everything in breakfast case
>"unnngh that looks goooooood ohhhh maaaan"
>fatty making orgasm noises after each pasty is described
>we have to gradually try each drink as we make them
>fatty continually says "I don't think I can drink all that"
>drinks it all
>my IBS is acting up so I sip each of mine and then see who wants the rest
>fatty every time
>boss showing us how to make breakfast bagels and sandwiches
>fatty consumes both hers and mine, complete with huge amounts of cream cheese
>more orgasm noises when we go through the bagel flavors and toppings
>sorting truckload of syrup
>more orgasm noises

but here's the kicker:

>makes fun of fat people that come into shop
>plays "fat or pregnant"
>judges others for getting whipped cream on drinks while practically inhaling the stuff herself when we practice doing it
>brings up her gastric bypass she got in 2005 each chance she gets

>tfw nobody can stand her and her northern accent or how she gets in the way behind the small crowded counter
>tfw I'm the one that gets laid off because my IBS is acting up the first couple weeks and I keep having to leave the counter and kitchen for long stretches of time

>be 16
>be horny as shit start of summer to senior year
>have chubby girl always texting and hinting she wants the d
>friend convinces me "fuck it whatever who will know"
>invite her over the one time I have open house
>she asks what do you want to do
>i make out with her and get her in my room because what the fuck do you think you're here for
>half hour of this garbage pit
>she finally gets naked and is jerking me
>I tell her to get on the bed while I go get condom
>cannot find fucking condom so I get one from my brother's room
>come back and she's leaned against my bedpost
>i climb aboard and try to stick it in
>my knee literally smacks the fucking wall as I come down
>she does not open her legs the tiniest bit for me to slide anything in
>I ask her to open her legs a bit like she were sitting pretzel style (idk she had sex only once before and I was trying to be nice)
>she says she isnt flexible enough to to that
>allofmywhat.jpeg
>take my damn matress and put it on the floor
>tell her to get on the floor
>grab one leg and put it on my shoulder, grab the other and have it awkwardly on my side
>ram it in while holding up pounds of leg
>go for a few minutes til i hear strange thumping noise
>realize every time I thrust I smack her head into my nightstand
>ask if she's okay
>*huff* yes *huff* *huff* yes. Literal 30 seconds between each yes
>whatthefuckareyoudoing.docx
>little bit more of this and I fake finish
>tell her she should just leave

I drove her to my house and made her get her own ride back home

>Go to bar
>Get shit face with friend
>We both end up talking to this group of 6 whales
>Mackin on the "prettiest" of the bunch, if that exsists
>Hit it off
>She wants the D
>Go to Denny's with all her whale friends
>Her mom drops all of us off at my place
>lolwut
>We're still drinking at like 5am
>Invite her back to room, bro get the hint
>Start to make out with her
>She tries to tongue fuck my face
>Whatever I get naked and get her naked
>Wtf the tiniest fucking tits on this bitch
>Stick my dick in her raw dog
>Lasts about 1 minute before she stops me
>I can't do this
>I'm not that kind of girl
>Gets dressed and leave
>Jesusfuckingfuck
>Go to bed angry as fuck

everytime I banged a fatty I was drunk as hell
>be drunk fuck this 5/10 fatty atleast she had a good face
>not be self conscious
>not give a fuck about pleasing her or what she might think if I bust too early etc
>realize this is the real reason I probably fucked a fatty
>also pretty drunk though
next morning I swear to myself I wont let it happen again no matter how drunk I get
but then next time I saw that same fat chick
>be drunk as hell laying on friends couch
>she starts giving me a back massage
>dem fat fingers feel heavenly
>proceed to fuck her face
>cum all over her make sure not to spill any on my friends carpet
next day promise myself I wont do it again no matter how drunk I get.
haven't seen her since so I guess it worked (technically)

>be chilling with neighbors
>girls decide to go to another apartment just to check it out so me and bros go with
>get there bunch of neckbeard dyel mode pussies
>be playing waterfall and hear ruckus
>guy tells kind of chubby girl to leave and starts being forcefull
>says hes fucked her already so theres no point
>girl yells it wasnt even good
>embarrassment ensued
>then embarrassed rage, and he rushes towards the girl
>me being drunk and ready to fight I get in the middle
>couple punches thrown, kids down
>ask girl if she wants to be fucked right
>she says yes
>take her back to my apartment for pound town
>Tear it up, had some nice tits and a tight pussy
>ended up cheating on my fit girlfriend
>bad feels when I was sober

This guy is Top Gun

>work at chipotle
>new girl comes in
>fatasfatass
>tats
>insecure
>skrillex haircut
>shitty at her job
>thinks EVERYONEs out to get her
>clings to me because im nice to her
>she mistakes this for flirtation
>fast forward 3.5 months
>christmas party
>at a Dave & busters
>im drunk as fuck
>playing that basket ball game against a black co worker
>shouting NOVAK REBORN every time i beat him
>people laughing
>she's mirin
>Party's over
>i go to drive home
>oh no i cant let such precious cargo drive in this state
>offers me a ride home
>i accept
>she drives me to her house
>brings me to her back yard
>Sneaks me into her garage
>she blows me until hard
>i tell her to go doggy style
>cant find her puss
>too many folds
>too drunk to care
>shove it into a fold
>it's not her vag
>dont care
>i hear a sigh of disappointment
>i cream pie her fold
>pass out
>wake up with her staring at me
>oh fuck
>apologize and ask to get a ride back to my car
>she accepts
>tells EVERYONE
>my GM was chill as fuck and put me on separate shifts than her
>she gets fired 4 weeks later
>never saw her again

>know chubbyfat with nice face, skin and tits
>chillin one day
>everyone else leaves
>eventually play with her tits some
>realize I'm about to cause some serious drama
>put tits away
>awkward silence
>"well, the good news is, you aren't showing any signs of breast cancer!"
>laughing_negroes.png
>leave
>still friends, never did anything like that again; friends with her husband

>vacation to Turks and Caicos
>Drinks inclusive
>good inclusive
>Oh god yes
>drunk with my brother
>go to Irish pub
>serving up carbombs
>fatty hollering at me
>hey there boyo come over here and drink with us
>fuck it
>bro comes up to me pissed
>where's my drink faggot?
>oh shit sorry i took a shot with these people
>angelic music
>girl my little bros age with huge tits
>anon...im gonna get in there
>i say good luck shes guarded by her tubby sis and bulkan step bro
>he sweet talks the bulkan
>asks me to wing him
>seduct the fatty
>y'know i aint like other girls...
>of course not
>y'all have to work to get this
>shakes what i can only assume are two roasted pigs she shoved into the back side of her pants
>we go swimming
>take off my shirt
>barely out of DYEL
>barely visable abs
>ok y'all worked enough
>drags me inside her bedroom
>starts blowing me
>oh god it feels like finger nails on my dick
>she smiles up at me
>crooked as fuark teeth
>bend her over her bed
>she finishes
>my lord i aint never done felt that there before
>ok
>asscheek fuck time
>blow my loadon her lower back
>she passes out
>i go back downstairs
>catch my little bro getting a handy in the elevator
>mission accomplished all aircraft report

>at bar
>pretty drunk
>chatting with random grill
>female friend cock-blocks me making other girl walk away
>fucks sake
>friends fat sister asks if want to make out
>whynot.jpg
>go home with her
>hard to missionary due to her gut
>bank doggy style
>not turned on
>her grunting like an overloaded truck
>finally unload
>pass out
>wake up in the morning
>start chewing my arm off
>sneak out of her house leaving a bloody trail
>don'tcaregotsex.jpg

>be 14-15
>older sister throwing a party
>fat friend comes and starts feeding me drinks
>whenever she laughs around my friends she makes this weird moaning noise
>huEEEgh hueEEGH hueEEEGH
>snorts between fits of laughter
>white piggu
>end of the night some how get to the point wear her hands in my pants while sitting on my couch
>take her to my room where she force feeds herself my dick
>finish and tell her to leave
>proceed to go to bed, wake up next day with no fucks given

Serious post for a moment

If anyone has any links to FREE (preferably quality) healthy eating, weight loss, or other such things, e-books, pdfs, etc, either email me storiesaboutfatpeople@gmail.com or post them as a comment here.

Then I'll add them as permanent links at the top of the page.

If even one person puts that fork down, it'll be worth it.

>house party
>only one girl who is single
>hitting on her
>probably 270lbs
> huge tits
>ended up making out in owner's bed
>she wants the d
>couldnt get hard for fatty
>sucked my dick like it was candy

Yes, this is the only way to stop gay marriage.

Thin privilege is having dogs play with you.

http://thisisthinprivilege.tumblr.com/post/60765037525/thin-privilege-is-having-dogs-play-with-you

I consider myself a fairly active person (tennis three times a week, walking around town daily, etc.) and I eat pretty healthy (fast food or eating out only once a month now). So I’m pretty healthy, but I’m also plus size.
I went with my friend to her cousin’s bar barque this week and was so excited to find out he has two border collies. I am a total dog person.
We get into the back yard and I introduce myself to everyone including the dogs. After we eat, we sit down to relax and the cousin starts to play fetch with the dogs. After a while he gets tired but the dogs still want to play. I offer to throw the tennis balls around with them, but the cousins stops me.
"Oh, they won’t play with fat people!"
“What?”
“They don’t play with fat people. Fat people don’t run around fast enough to keep up, and they stop playing because they get tired, so the dogs don’t bother.”
I was completely insulted by te insinuation that being fat meant you couldn’t run around and enjoy physical activity, but I decided to ignore him and grabbed two tennis balls anyway. I threw them across the yard and get this! The dogs didn’t chase them. They just sat there and starred at me even though a minute before they were begging for the balls to be thrown!
Thin privilege is not being discriminated against and assumed incapable of physical activity by both dog AND owner.

>I was completely insulted by the insinuation that being fat meant you couldn't run around and enjoy physical activity,
No I'm pretty sure that's exactly what being fat indicates.

The dogs were border collies.
Border collies confirmed for smarter than the average tumblr user

GOD BLESS AMERICA

> Visiting family in Idaho
> Decide to visit Horse Races
> Get our tickets, start walking in, we're about 5 minutes late because we had to grab betting money from the ATM
> National Anthem currently in process
> We haven't entered yet but we remove our hats and wait for the Anthem to end
> Hamplanet with a mobility scooter comes through the gate
> Scooter screaming under the weight
> Doesn't stop or remove his cowboy hat, just slowly drives in while his scooter moans in protest
> Couldn't hear the rest of the Anthem because Fatty McFatFat had to get his reserved seat

Thigh chaffing and obese people

This pic in a nutshell:
>fucking beluga whale whining about eating so much and getting so fat that her legs chafe.
>then she whines about having to cover up her massive rubbing legs
>Then she complains about having to buy something to alleviate the condition
>Then, she complains about other people "objectifying" her when they complain that her fat celluloid legs rubbing together is fucking disgusting.
Not once did she complain about not being able to put down her fork.

Fat people get hot in cold weather

>Sister comes to visit me in Asia
>I'm already pretty thin, but since I've moved here I've gone from 185 to 165 while working out 6 days a week
>She's about 200 pounds now. 5'6.
>"What do you want to eat?"
>Oh, just something sweet
>always eating candy and baked goods, haven't eaten anything with sugar in it for months
>always bitching about how she's too tired and out of shape, completely out of breath and sucking air after walking up steps
>she chills around my apartment in a tanktop. fat fucking arms, rolls, 2much cleavage
>Friends come over and are weirded out
>loud and obnoxious american
>making me embarrassed to be seen with in public
>it's freezing outside, go inside any store to warm up
>WE NEED TO GO IT IS _TOO HOT_ IN HERE I'M BURNING UP
>mfw I'm always freezing, I don't have blubber to keep me warm

Fat ugly = Fugly

>On bro Holiday
>Go to bar and random girl walks up and kisses me the second i walk in
>She is fat ugly and had a man voice but i was drunk
>Go back to mine
>Try to fuck her
>cant get it in
>jam it in hard she starts moaning like a horny bull
>bust a nut after about 5 mins then get over come with shame
>Plan to run off after we got back to bar but end up back at her hotel
>sit on toilet and play with her tits
>say i have to go
>walk home in dark and meet a bunch of puppies
>play with puppies feel shame melt away in a way no ice cream ever will with the she mantus
>Next night get black out drunk
>aggressivly chatting her up
>rep warns bro who tries to stop me
>tell him to fuck off im working
>she sneaks away
>feel terrible about it
>wonder off hit a punching bad and cut myself
>end up crying in hospital with bro
>board plane time to leave the shame behind
>shes sitting infront of me
>5 hours of why

Walmart Scooters: I hate the fact that my store doesn't charge to use the scooters.

>Working at WalMart, surprisingly slow day.
>Old man approaches my register, kindly asks if there are any electric scooters.
>Sigh because I know the lardbeasts or douche teenagers are probably using them.
>Old man starts having a bit of trouble standing even with a cane.
>Co-worker brings a chair for him to sit in, I go look for a electric scooter at both entrances of the store.
>While looking for a scooter a fat black slab of fat approaches me, also asks for a scooter.
>Tell her that I'm already looking for a scooter for an old man who has trouble standing on his own.
>Surprisingly understands and sits down on a bench.
>Continue to look for a scooter and finally find one.
>It's dead. Barely moves. So I plug it in an outlet to charge.
>Sit in the scooter or else someone will try to take it.
>Fat, grotesque man in scooter approaches me while at the same time asking if the scooter is being used.
>Explain to him the situation.
>He starts getting upset. Demands the scooter for his fat wife.
>He opens his gaping hole, "Do I have to have a certain health problem to be first priority?! I've been looking for another scooter for almost half an hour!"
>Refuse to give him the scooter one last time.
>soundofangrywhales.mp3
>Rides off and gives the old man a dirty look.
>After a few minutes I give the old man the scooter. Apologizing for taking so long.
>He thanks me for being so determined to get him a scooter.
>Supervisor tells me that the fatass complained but they don't give a shit because I made the right chioce.

Fat People At The Hospital

>at the hospital for check up after having appendix removed
>my mistake when I decide to take the elevator
>On the first floor, step into the the elevator and push the third floor tab
>Elevator goes up one floor, stops.
>the metal doors rumble open to reveal and 300 pound beast with a broken leg. Appears to be female, but I could not confirm.
>It's riding on one of those broken leg devices that looks like a razor scooter.
>scooter is clearly buckling under the immense weight, creaking with every inch she moves.
> beast scoots into the elevator, ignoring me. It must have eaten already.
> metal doors close, the elevator, straining under its new weight gain pushes on to the third floor.
>decide, foolishly, to be a gentlemen
> let the beast exit first.
>as it moves forward on its rickity scooter, the front wheel gets caught in the crevasse where the doors close.
> momentum was too much to stop in time
>it begins to fall over
> nothing I could do
>The beast falls to the ground, starts howling as loud as it can, A clear distress call.
>I'm trapped inside the elevator, trying everything I can to pick it up. mfw It's too heavy
>Valhalla here i come!
>everyone is staring
> try to calm the beast, but to no avail. its wails echo through the hospital corridors
>am trapped. There is no way out.
>elevator is starting to panic as well, the doors try to close on her several times, but open once the feel the obstruction.
> no one is doing anything to help me. Ive been left me behind.
>with no other option, I push the security button in the Elevator.
>Beast screams are getting louder by the minute.
>takes ten minutes for a couple of the scrawniest men to appear, but at this point, i am desperate, any help is wanted.
>proceed to roll the behemoth out of the elevator
>Terra nova!
>Help the beast back up on its scooter
>Seat breaks
>fuck this shit
>leave the scene

Balooga whales in their natural environment

>work at a nightclub
>wild balooga shuffles over to the bar
>asks for a redbull vodka and a pizza
>explain to her that we don't serve food
>she starts to kick up a massive fuss
>tell her that this is a nightclub and we don't serve food, only drinks
>she wants to speak to my manager
>radio him down
>she complains to him that it's not right to serve only drinks when food helps to absorb alcohol or some shit
>he just says there is nothing he can do and we have no food
>one of the girls I work with offers her some sliced lemons
>the white whale goes berserk
>my manager tries to calm her down
>she is fucking hysteria fatplanet mode at this stage
>my manager makes one of our bartenders go down into the staff room and get some chips out of our vending machine for her

Worst day of my life. I never realized how bad it was to be fat until that day.

>Live in Hawaii
>Fat ass fatass
>I get picked on a lot because A) I'm Fat B) I'm White
>Still I try to be nice, have fun
>One day my friend she ask me to go to the beach with her
You just want me to flash my tits to get the boys over huh?
>Oh anon hahaha
>So we go to the beach and meet up with some of her friends
>They all go boogie boarding and body surfing while I watch, and bake. (Sunburn not chronic)
>Ah, fuck it, I'm fucking bored. So I start digging a hole so i can bury myself
>Im a fat fuck, so first of all it's fucking hard work digging when you're fat. Secondly, you need a huge ass hole. Which, oddly enough, most of my friends friends are.
>I'm tired, my hole is big, i lay down in it. Just about to slowly pull the sand over myself. (Best I can)
>Here comes the local kine braddahs
>"Hey, look at dis Haole Boy, he fall down eh! make a crater."
What, no. I dug a hole.
>"Ya i know brah, that's what I said."
Fuck you
>He is pissed
>Oh fuck, I'm fucked.
>I'm stuck, the hole was just deep enough to make any mobility I had vanish
>Him and his buddies start burying me. They leave my face, tits and belly exposed. Laughing at me trying to turtle roll on my front side.
>Each of them slaps my belly and man cans. Some fat jokes. And depart.
>I start crying, i don't know what else to do
>My friend finally gets out of the water, thought I knew those guys.
>I just want to leave, so we do


A month later I ended up moving to Washington. Got a gym membership, started eating right.

Volunteering with fat people

>doing volunteer work
>get paired up to load donated clothes into a trailer
>qtWhale paired with me
>I'm flexin. She's mirin.
>We're loading up large bags of clothes
>she says, "I'm working off the six cookies I ate earlier today"
>oh that's not so much..
>in my head
>fatties gonna fat
>mfw I actually thought this

also
>she ate "health bars"
>only 200 calories!
>she would eat 10 a day
>plus breakfast from sonic
>would have a route 44 coca cola
>lunch of fast food
>dinner...god knows what
>no exercise

This is not a story about fat people

>me and sister are on a road trip
>sitting in our excursion alongside the road in front of LA fitness
>notice the water cup in the holder is vibrating a little bit
>boom.... boom....
>look in rear view mirror, see rippletoe rex in full GOMAD
>must weigh 35000 pounds
>them quads
>suddenly he headbutts the side of the truck
>BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULK!
>lets out a huge scream
>BUUUUUUULK!
>smashes the glass roof
>sister and i are screaming
>out of the corner of my eye spot a silly safari hat
>ITS HIM
>the scoobz rolls up on a skateboard
>pulls us out of the car
>lifts hat, pulls out 2 skateboards
>rippletoe rex can't see us if we squat
>all get on our backs
>skateboard squat down the street
>watch as rex squatz our excursion while we drift blissfully into a natty sleep