Son of a bitch.

>lose weight
>still DYEL looking, but everyone complimenting me on the weight loss, including women
>love the feels that gives me

>go clubbing
>still can't figure out a way to approach girls
>the only girls that approach ME are fat chicks
>fat chicks clearly desperate for the d
>fat chicks I would have probably accepted when I was fat
>fat chicks I now detest because of fat acceptance

Pretty old but the show must go on

>be 16
>browse early versions of social networks
>get a message from girl,looks good from pics
>she had 36 friends but im horny so think nothing of it
>start talking via messenger,she seems nice
>we arrange a meeting in the mall
>get there with full blown scene look(i was young and stupid)
>wait for her,get a call from here:"hi anon im at the food court"
>go to food court,and see this: dyed bangs,realy short and really fat
>i go fucking auto pilot and try to getout as fast as i can
>for weeks she wanted to meetup again and kept sending me gifs of blow jobs

And thats how i got traumatized from internet

That girl was a master of photoshop though

I know, not nearly as outrageous as others, but it's the first time anything like that happened to me.

>be at work
>coffee shop that serves snacks, like salads, sandwitches, etc.
>hambeast comes in with her chubby friend
>i usually never see people this big irl
>must have been around 150kg
>her friend orders an espesso and a tuna sandwich
>she orders a big sandwich with bacon, cheddar, gouda, tomato, lettuce, ham, olives
>and a diet coke
>talks loudly about her sexual adventures
>very very loudly
>everyone is staring at her
>after she devours her sandwich she orders a slice of chocolate cake
>bring it to her
>she eats it all
>"what kind of slice was that? it's tiny"
>makes a scene
>does not want to pay for the cake after she ate all of it
>boss comes out
>she starts shouting about how he only acts like that cause she's "bigger"
>"if i was a skinny bitch you would treat me to this cake AND my sandwich"
>boss is having none of that shit
>her friend apologises and offers to pay

They only come out after dark

>walking down the street one night
>notice large amorphous blob of a woman and thin stick goth counterpart going into a pizza store
>Figure whatever they're having a pizza date or some shit
>continue walking
>see them again later, goth and blob are hobbling into gelati store..... alright they're having dessert now.
>nahnoteven.jpeg
>takes tub of ice cream proceeds to shovel it in as they make their way to another pizza shop across the street.
>She was eating her way down the street while the goth was paying for everything......
>Laugh on the inside

Not really great but here's one from years ago...

>be 17-18ish
>taking up philosophy (for pre-law)
>second semester of 1st year literature class, teacher is a hamplanet named Dr. Macapagal
>we call her Big Mac
>also activist feminist. If she was 20 years younger she'd surely be a tumblr poster.
>always bitches about male patriarchy and rape
>bitches about how women are "owned" by men because they give up their last name after marriage
>always favorites fat shy girls in class
>always assumes that skinny girls are bitches
>says that men are the weaker sex and that "if men were the ones to go pregnant then the human race would be extinct"

2 months of this pass
>Guys and i devise a plan to piss her off
>Take away and hide her chair and desk before class begins
>Big Mac enters, she is furious
>we tell her that janitors took the desk and chair
>she has to stand while teaching/ranting
>30minutes she "borrowed"'a students armchair
>she can't fit because of the armchair
>she rages, mutters something, and stands up again
laughinginternally.jpg
>40minutes in she is out of breath, panting heavily
>almost falling back and falls on her ass on the floor
>manage to make it look like she decided to sit down
>face is as red as the tomato she never eats
>1hr and 50minutes left
>class dismissed

A tale about Friend Privelige

> circa september 2013
>befriend fat girl, seems alright, turns out to be sjw
>girl is literally spherical, is typical "you must love my curves or I'll shout rape"
>girl is basically all momscience, only a couple years older than me
>"calories don't count if you eat outside" etc
>have mutual friend, acts like bro
>every time we go anywhere with the sjw she complains about how skinny we are and how we make her "jealous"
>begins falling in love with mutual friend, has unhealthy obsession to the point of stalking
>mutual friend has enough of her shit eventually, blocks/deletes her, refuses to acknowledge her, etc
>one time they happen to be in the same place, sjw hears bro is moving, flips shit
>"why the fuck would you do that, I love you you're my soulmate, you ruined my life" etc
>tfw no fucks given
>sjw has apparently blocked me, according to someone else she constantly bitches about me and how I have "friend privilege" from being thinner than her
>tfw I don't know how to end this story
>I'll just go for one of my privilege-flaunting jogs now

One story I have repressed.

>be me
>go to mcdonalds (coffees)
>turkish woman behind me
>quite fat, not FPS worthy
>small, fat child appears
>they discuss and order
>start paying attention when they pay
>?16 something
>the fucking woman has ordered 3 x meals
>and twenty chicken mcnuggets
>there is another child, both girls
>7 or maybe 9. both have fattits and are hideous
>all three calmly and methodically demosish a meal each, and share the nuggets equally, plus cokes.
>I watch from the sidelines, wallowing in their obesity

be fatass me

>doing great, slowly getting fit
>buy donuts one day
>BAM junk food addiction is back
>lose self discipline
>can't get it back, don't understand why
>visit FPS, see FPS
>chocolate cravings disappear
>realize I haven't read FPS since a bit before the binging started
Are FPS threads the only thing between me and my fatty ways? That makes me even more pathetic than a regular fatty.

This is more mom-sciency but

>Just got home from school
>Mom ordered a few pizzas for dinner
>on a cut, so thank mom for the food, tell her I ate on the way home
>She and my dad are both doing a "Paleo Diet" because muh Doctor Oz
>She and my dad both eat half a fucking pizza each for dinner
>Went out to Dairy Queen after because "Anon, I walked a few thousand steps today! So I get to reward myself!"
>mfw

work at a deli

>mostly normal-sized old people or business ppl
>a lot of regulars, all of them normal sized
>except one group
>just got hired so i'm not yet familiar with every regular
>group comes in, they must have 1000 pounds between the three of them
>I try to seat them kindly at a longer booth
>they get upset and start passive aggressively scoffing and saying "where's Suzee, where's the manager, she knows where we like to sit, you must be new or something"
>they literally leave my sight and left me standing at the booth by myself while they hog up all the aisles so the servers can't get through
>they trumpet slowly around to the side and just stand there until my manager comes through
>"oh hello again! Here have your normal seats!"
>they are literally seated at a table because their fat blobby bodies cannot fit into a booth
>their chairs are so far from the table they're blocking a whole aisle
>cannot seat the other part of that section because they are blocking access to it through the easiest route
>they stay there eating and filling up on cokes for the next four hours until we close

i fucking hate them and they come in every saturday

be undergrad

>hear about this new PhD student coming from the states
>okay.jpg
>friday, first appearance of said PhD
>OMG why is my piranha solution showing vibrations
>oh it is the new PhD
>bitch must be over 200kg
>lol stereotypes exist for a reason
>wheezing because she had to walk from the main building to our lab (1km)
>later that day I hear her rant about the size of our clothing, apparently it is not normal to sell whale size
>good lord, it's a tumblr bitch

later that day
>bitch is wheezing again because we walked to the main building
>bitch finds out we only have healthy food
>proceeds to empty a tub of mayonnaise onto her salad
>we all observe the beast while eating our food

This is going to be good, she has been here for half a week now, I have until summer to study her whale songs.

going to kill my sleep deprivation with caffeine, might update tomorrow if the beast does something studid

flight back from LA

>had horrible time getting through customs
>finally sit down in my seat and relax
>obese woman comes and sits next to me
>takes up a portion of my seat

God hated me that day.

complaining about fat people leaving shit around

How about a fat person leaving actual shit around.
> sophmore year of high school years ago
> have fuckall to do after school so I went home to play some vidya
> older bro walks in the house with a couple of his fat, female friends in tow
> they head outside to smoke
> continue playing vidya when one of the whales pops her head in and asks where the bathroom is
> I direct her, and continue playing
> soon after, she exits casually and returns to shoot the shit
> about 10 minutes later, they leave
> five minutes more, and my twin bro walks in
> first thing he says is, "what's that smell?"
> I sample the air and it smells like a dense fart
> I deduced that the only place it could be coming from is the bathroom, but I couldn't believe it
> fifteen or more minutes have passed and the bathroom is more than 20 feet from the livingroom
> I reveal this to my brother and against his protests, I investigate
> the smell was getting stronger as I walked closer
> I opened the bathroom door and was punched in the face by a pungent odor
>my suspisions were confirmed but I was still baffled
> then I saw it
> a dark ring around the top of the toilet seat
> I dared to inspect it and was stunned again
> it was indeed a ring of shit on the top of the seat
> to this day the only explanation I can think of is she smeared shit all over her ass and sat down
> I closed the door and waited for my older bro to come home so he could clean it

Closest I've got

>be me
>be a couple years ago, I'm around 17
>just got on connecting flight to NC
>my seat is right next to a very large woman
>accept my fate
>put bag in overhead, squeeze in
>immediately, she says "hey, the plane's only half full, do you want to grab that seat over there so you'll have more room?"
>she points at a free row
>"n-no, it's okay"
>ilied.mp3
>she calls over the flight attendant
>"excuse me, can I move over there?"
>flight attendant is cool, and she let's her
>we both get two seats to ourselves now
>both comfortable for the flight
>mfw my only real experience with a really far person, and they were a total bro

And to clarify, it wasn't a "YOU AND YOUR THIN PRIVILAGE ARE IN MY SPACE" request from her, it was a "I know I'm fat and that I'm going to make the flight uncomfortable for you, so I'll move so we're both happy" request. Am I doing fps wrong?

Be in library, finished studying so turn on laptop

>Get annoyed, look up and see three fat ladycows sitting in front of me
>I ask them the most they ever ate in one sitting
>Two comply, one shyly looks away
>One blonde has eaten two pizzas and breadsticks
>Another 6 lbs of cookie dough
>Ask the last, larger one, she replies with "both of those"

Turns out it wasn't three people I was talking to but one so large I skipped seeing double and saw triple.

>Look in mirror

feelsbadman

I've told before so sorry if you've read already

>Work at restaurant to pay for school
>Our new busser is easily 300+ and needs to take breaks because she can't keep up with "fast" pace at work
>We end up having to clean our own tables because she is usually sitting on the bench outside drinking a soda
>We tip her out for this

Most recently:
>Busy as fuck because a bunch of people called off
>We have a salad bar and the busser asks one of the workers if she could get a salad
"No go back to work"
>Asks the manager is she could have a salad
"You know what? Do whatever the fuck you want. Just ignore how busy we are."
>She grabs a plate and piles on everything we have to offer at the salad bar
>Tops it all off with cheese, bacon, ham, and eggs
>Drenches the whole thing in ranch
>I've never seen so much food put on one salad plate
>She eats the whole thing in front of us while were running around the restaurant trying to keep things in order

The managers care so little about the restaurant that they won't fire her. I'm not going to be there much longer but this shit gets old.

At movies

>Sitting at bHUGE fat guy holding rail for dear life, waddling down the steps
>Say to my friend
>Hey look! It's the boulder from indiana jones!



>walking in chapters (canadian book store)
>see 400lbs+ fat cunt whale in scooter
>didn't think these beasts actually exists
>think "Oh shit I have to follow her and take a pic"
>realize, no faggot, it probably took her a lot of will power and strength to go out knowing she will be ridiculed
>realize, that no one wants to be that size so its clearly not a choice that she can just alter
>decide not to be an inconsiderate faggot
>find a book
>leave

be at grocery store

>buying whole milk and sausage
>out of generic brand milk so name brand is $5 a gallon, fucking bullshit
>turn around to ice cream aisle and see a perfectly circular shape from behind bending over to get a gallon of ice cream from the bottom shelf
>this person stands up and the shape I'm looking at doesn't change, she's a circle from any angle
>her arms and legs are fucking sticks, like unbelievably thin for the huge mass they support
>only add to the really impressivley spherical body type she has
>right where her flat tits end, her stomach ends to give it a single smooth contour that follows into the fat hanging over her stomach that she has tucked into her pants
>waist line rivals the LHC in diameter
>try to figure out how such a body could have came to be when I look down at her feet
>everything all of a sudden makes sense
>she was wearing sketchers shape ups

I guess those shoes come in different shape settings or something.

brought some homemade pork rinds to work

>fatty coworker asks me what they are
>I tell her they're pork rinds
>"omg isn't that fattening?"
>I tell her no, not really
>she says how she could never eat something like that
>walks off while sipping a shitty Starbucks coffee with probably more sugar than I consume in a month

>two months later, people notice I'm leaner
>she's still fat and drinking her sugar coffees

be 15 (or 16 idk it was a while ago)

>have fat friend
>mostly just friends with her because she's the only person at school who appreciates the animu
>one day she invites herself over
>whynot.jpeg
>brings over a mini suitcase
>"Haha, I thought you were staying for just one night?"
>"Oh I just brought us some snacks is all :)"
>opens the suitcase
>mfw it's filled with all this gross shit
>mfw she knows I can't even eat gluten because I'm gluten intolerant
>mfw literally all the snacks contain gluten
>mfwnf
>ignore that shit, whatever, I won't let it get me down
>do stupid girl shit
>watch shows
>watch as she eats shit snacks
>it's like 7 PM and she's 1/3 done with the suitcase
>hasn't even asked about why I haven't touched anything that she brought
>ohsheknows.pmg
>"Hey Anon! When are we having dinner?"
>"Oh, I prepared some honey chicken and mashed potatoes and shit for us before you came actually"
>she looks down
>dat dissapointment
>"Oh...I mean, in most sleepovers people usually order pizza"
>this was before people actually made/delivered gluten free pizza that didn't taste like shit
>"Yeah, well, in this sleepover we're eating chicken and potatoes. Pizza's not that healthy anyway"
>see that chin wobble
>shakethatmoneymaker.gif
>"k-kay"
>eat dinner
>damn that's good shit
>do more dumb girl shit
>head to bed
>get woken up by wrappers crackling at about 3 AM
>fuck this gay earth
>eventually fall back asleep at around 5
>get woken up by sausages poking me at about 9 AM
>"Anon, I'm hungry! Can you make breakfast?"
>"dude I'm sleeping, there's leftovers from dinner, can you just grab those intead?"
>"But I finished those already! Plus I noticed you had some bacon and eggs and stuff, and I'm sooo in the mood for breakfast food"
>she...she finished all the chicken and potato leftovers?
>contemplate flipping 40 shits
>ignore her and try to fall back asleep again
>"annoooooonnnnn I'm so huuuuungryy"
>alright.
>nope
>fuck this
>"I don't see how you could be hungry if you ate whatever the fuck you brought with you, as well as about 3 fucking plates of leftovers, and god knows what the fuck else"
>starts crying
>I want to feel bad, I really do
>mumbles something about her blood sugar
>apparently she has to eat every 2 hours or something
>"Well then go grab an apple"
>slumps back into bed
>"I need something *filling*. It's breakfast, so you should be a good host and make stuff!"
>fucccckkkkkkk that
>fall asleep
>get woken up 20 minutes later
>ohgodshesback.jpg
>and she brought my mom
>who looks like she'd just woken up
>"Did you wake my mom up so that I could make you food?"
>"Well my mom's picking me up soon so I needed to get breakfast quick! :)"
>get up
>point to the suitcase
>dear lord I think I see some survivors
>"You can eat whatever you have in there, and the fruits we have in the fridge, otherwise there's no way in hell I'm making you a single thing"
>avoid her fat ass for the next 30 minutes
>her mom picks her up and takes her home
>once she's gone I head back to my room
>mfw she left all of her fucking food wrappers all over my floor

being me again

>chillin with nerdbro
>nerdbro says he's giving up sodas
>"too much sugar, I feel like shit, etc."
>fully support this move
>we go out for lunch
>taco bell
>both of us get Dr. Pepper
>self-aware sabotage
>feelsbadman

Being me

> be mexican
> been exercising for a little more than 1 year
> was 100~ish kgs, went on a cut on the last 4 months, dropped to 89 kgs so far
> mfw I go out and I see hamplanets everywhere (like 6 out of 10 people have big bellies, 2 are hamplanets, and 2 are "normal")
> everytime I go out there is a fucking bunch of places where tacos, tacos, tamales, tostadas and other greasy shit is sold by buckets and it is very fucking cheap
> no wonder why they are so fucking obese when they can get stuffed with carbs and fats at little cost (fattest country atm)
> mfw altough is shitty nutritional food, it is fucking delicious
> mfw haven't had tacos since months ago
> h-hold me

If you look closely at her hand..

...she's also holding some calorie laden drink.

Diabetes for everyone!

How to get Diabetes

I don't know how many of you are aware of this but, in order to make the chocolate in a fountain flow, you mix it with vegetable oil. The ratio is anywhere between 1:3 and 1:1 oil to chocolate.

>Highly recommended buffet in Liverpool
>Turns out to be a complete pile of very expensive ass
>Hit the desert section for some fruit
>Waiting in the queue
>Hamstar with hamplanet friend in orbit
>Each has 2 empty tumblers and 2 empty shot glasses
>Curiosity: piqued
>They reach the chocolate fountain
>Hamstar starts filling the shot glass
>Telling myself, that must be it but acutely aware of the probable outcome
>Hamstar fills all 4 glasses with melted chocolate
>Hamplanet follows suit
>Hams return to their table, closer to the dessert section than mine
>Hamstar:"[giggle] ooh, I'm so naughty, this will totally make me fat"
>Hamstar drinks a tumbler full of melted chocolate in one chug
>What little appetite I had is now utterly destroyed
>Pay
>Get the fuck out

I have never seen someone eat food so fast while looking so upset and angry about it. It was like she was mad at the ice-cream for forcing her to eat it.

> at store
> just buying a few things, go to express checkout
> jupiter stands in line to check out
> massive spherical body that is now collapsing from all the weight
> gelatinous upper body is literally resting upon the enormous mound of fat that is her midsection
> buying a tub of ice-cream
> "Just getting a quick snack."
> snack?
> giggles at checkout worker
> "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice-cream tee hee."
> bounces in place from sheer excitement over ice-cream.
> buys ice-cream and leaves, I check out and head to parking lot
> mini-van parked in handicap spot
> hamburgerler sitting in driver sit, shoveling ice-cream into her mouth as fast as she can
> face twisted with rage as she finishes her 'snack' then opens car door and slowly oozes out.
> catches me watching and flips me off, before wobbling away to throw away empty ice-cream container
> we all scream for ice-cream

be relatively /fit/ 18 year old

>sitting at a salad bar in a mall food court
>watching fatties at a fast food restaurant
>i'm waiting for them to do something that will make me laugh
>choking back tears, sweating in anticipation of the LOLz that will surely arise from these hamplanets doing something funny
>seriously sweating now
>i'm wetter than lettuce
>staring at them harder and harder
>one looks at me
>i look away
>quickly note this down on my legs (because they're fucking huge)
>run back home
>almost get arrested because I didn't pay for the salad
>tip the guy 60% for reminding me to pay
>clap when he does the bill elegantly
>give him hand job for good measure
>finally get back home
>remember that cardio kills gains
>knock back six protein shakes
>bench lmao6plate
>knock back another six protein shakes
>eat big to get even bigger
>story is almost gone because sweat gains
>fill it in with funny shit to appease other anonymous dwellers on a site dedicated to fps
>they laugh
>I laugh
>it fills the void where my gf would be if I had one ever

Suspensions all around :)

>Be a teacher at a low income area
>Have two annoying fat bitches for students
>Both are your typical "tee hee" fat bitches, always want all the attention, think they're fucking cute, and never stop fucking talking
>They have that heavy breathing fat bitch voice that makes you want to maul kittens
>They hate me because I don't fall for their bullshit

So this event occurred earlier this week:

>Student has a breakdown during class, starts crying
>I send her outside, tell her to go get water let her know I'll have assistants escort her to the counselors
>publicschoolsystem.jpg
>Hambeast 1 and Hambeast 2 feel the need to console this girl they don't know
>I tell them not to put that burden on their joints and stay seated
>They refuse and commence to waddle, causing a minor earthquake, but it's southern California
>I tell them to sit down
>They were probably chewing on jerky because they couldn't hear me
>At this point it's obvious these bitches are just after attention
>One of my favorite students yells at them to sit down
Hambeast 1: We need to help her.
Hambeast 2: She trusts us!
Student: You don't even trust your own bodies.
>Hear "Ooohs!", they're not social justice warriors yet, and thankfully no one in class is either

Hambeast 1 and 2 get pissy and leave, I shut the door on them, and call the office, telling them that they walked out of my classroom

Fat hipsters are the worst.

>'shaved sides' haircut on a skinny guy accentuates height, whatever, looks okay
>same haircut on a fat guy, shaved sides are fucking horizontal because of blubber-filled head
>the shaved parts are always shiny from disgusting fatty sweat

i used to find hipster chicks hot but now i have flashbacks of the fat hipster chicks with their fat spilling out everywhere
>grey singlet top loose around the tits, tight around the belly, rolls of fat including belly button sticking out below the top
>incredibly tight shorts has fat pooling above and drooping down to cover half of the shorts
>also has FAT SQUEEZING OUT WHERE THE SHORTS CUT OFF
>literally her upper thighs were the width of her knees but her lower thighs were 2x the width of her knees