Do they teach food nutrition at schools any more? It seems not.

>Get fit, just out of DYEL
>Ripped as fuark by pleb public standards
>Bitches at work mirin'
>Ask me how I do it
>Say count calories and eat as much protein as possible
>Immediately they all look at each other uncomfortably
>"But protein makes you fat"
>wut
>"Yeah cuz all the animal fat in protein makes you fat yourself"
>....


I literally backed away and walked outside the room.
The same chick visits a naturopath which should say it all.

I'd hire this guy as a personal trainer

>roommate is a personal trainer
>he's one of the ones that actually studies and learns about exercise and has a degree in some sort of sport science or something stupid like that
>he always tells me about the unwilling fat stay at home moms that come in, demand help and then act like they know better
>most recently he asked a new client all the usual questions
>"What are your goals ma'am"
>'to lose weight'
>"Can you be more specific?"
>'I want to look better'
>"Okay, never mind."
>he asked about her diet
>she felt this was a personal question and refused to answer
>he asked her to give up soda, sugary coffee and candy
>she got upset and said she's working out so she doesn't have to give them up
>my roommate is very confused and upset at this point. Tries to inform her that diet is the most important part of weight loss
>this enrages the beast and she begins getting irate, saying things like "diets don't work"
>he lets her finish
>roommate is on his last straw, leads her into a private room away from everyone else and kills her
>jk, he asks her to step on a scale. She refuses.
>"Ma'am how are we going to measure your progress without knowing how much you weigh?"
>Miss piggy starts shouting at him with curses "I aint steppin on no goddamn scale and you can't make me I'm paying for you to train me blah blah blah manager"
>roommate walks out of the room and goes about his business
>hours go by and his boss says "Did you leave a woman in the private weighing room for 2 hours?"
>"I never told her to stay in there."
>he has an official reprimand on his "record" because some fat woman didn't want to participate in her own weightloss

You don't need celebrities for role-models

>Heading into walmart for my latest serving of cheap meat brought to you by Monsanto and DuPont
>Ahead of me, small celestial body waddles up and takes the last moterized cart
>Hear off to my right a young woman say, 'Excuse me ma'am, could we please use that, my husband really needs it.'
>Without bothering to look, she goes 'No way! He should have gotten here first!'
>I turn to look, some guy, mid twenties wearing dogtags and a army tee, with a goddamn plastic leg
>The elderly door greeter says to her, 'Miss, I think that guy really needs that.'
>She starts throwing a shitfit, the soldier guy is telling his wife to hush, today is okay he can walk okay.
>Motofatty tries to pull away, I've had enough, I step in front of her and tell her if she doesn't get up and fucking walk I'll dump her out of the goddamn cart.

Let me just preface this by saying, I'm no badass. I'm just some suburban white kid who likes to work out. It didn't really matter that this guy was in the military, it mattered that he'd lost a damn leg and had trouble getting around, and WOULD PROBABLY GIVE ANYTHING TO HAVE TWO FUNCTIONING LEGS LIKE THIS FAT BITCH HAS BUT DECIDED NOT TO USE.

>Hambulocletus starts to shout about calling the cops, I still hold on to the cart.
>She finally gets up and fumbles about in her purse for her phone while the young couple take the cart and go shopping.
>I go get my meat when some cop comes up to me and asks me what happened. I tell him the whole ordeal and he says, 'Okay. That old guy at the door said pretty much the same thing. He wanted me to tell you thanks, he's a vet apparently.'

I've rarely felt feels this good

Is being fat a disability?

>In optometrist office in my college town.
>bring my own script in, for contacts
> massive ham planet is on the phone, with customer.
> so fat that the arm resets on the office chair have been removed
> castors strain under the weight
> chair won't roll,
> hammy needs a patient file, turns around in groaning chair, uses mechanical clasper thing to get file.
>halls it back to her, opens desk, I assume to get pen, instead bag of mini snickers, begins eating them while talking on phone to customer.
> other office work enters, asks if I need help.
>tell her what I want.
>" oh Sandy handles all the contacts, she will be with you when she gets off the phone, just come wait around the corner here."
> walk around corner, get better view of desk, mountain of wrappers, 1L diet coke.
>Sandy gets off phone. Asks what I need, explain again.
> gets up, and has to waddle to other desk, (to start a file for me)
> this desk chair has arms, she tried to sit down.
> oh god! The chair , I don't know how it did it but it held her, kind of. 1/3 of her ass is in the chair, the other 2/3 is hanging off the sides, as she sits on the arm rests.
>orders my lenses, asks me for payment
>hand her card, that I know won't swipe, tell her.
> oh, well we will just have you pay when they get in. ( sign states all orders must be paid day of order)
> look around, realize that the credit card manual terminal is on other side of office, and Sandy won't walk all of 20' to run my card.
>what ever.
>as I'm walking out, other office worker gets a call, tells Dr. that patient X is in the parking lot, and wants to pick up her glasses.
>" oh its raining, and she is disabled" states receptionist.
> Dr walks out with her glasses, I follow, on the way to my car.
>my car is blocked in by disabled person
> Look into the car blocking me in.
>see this disabled "person"
> fattest ham beast I have ever witnessed, in a mumu, so fat, she has arm controls for car, and a bench seat.
> disabled...

Obese people have no hygiene

Forgot about this one. This guy wasn't my patient but I was working the floor

>working on a unit that was short staffed for the night
>ham beast decided to take his own life and kill himself via a cocktail of meds that would have put a fucking rhino down.
>God has a twisted sense of humor. This 400 pound sack of shit still lives albeit with so many tubes going into him he is more hospital equipment then a person.
>respiratory bros come up to see how the breathing tube is working out and they come out pale. Like sheet white.
> the smell from the guys breathe was fucking horrible.
>Me and his nurse who is like 5ft3 go in to check out what's going on
>it's a rotting smell like that kind of sweet musky meat smell, like road kill.
> I mask up, gloves a gown and she does the same.
>this tiny, ballsy nurse who is acting like it doesn't smell at all finds the source
>there is a fungal growth on his molar. The combo of o2, warmth, and darkness made it grow. I leave almost vomiting.
>specialist came in first thing in the morning and yanked it although the dude was most likely going to die. He said if it weren't for the drying effect the o2 had it would have been so much worst and there is no way he could have picked it up in transit to the hospital or in it itself.
>fat guy has a fungal growth in his fucking tooth.
>every time me and that nurse see each other she chuckles.

350lb lady strikes again

Work with a really big aid. She's university loathed for her ability to be lazy. She was fired for being lazy before but her union fought for her and her 350 pounds of fury

>working in a unit where the adjacent elevator is the one connected to the helipad for life flights and it happens that we have one incoming within the next 20 min so the elevator is reserved for them.
>Hambeast aid goes on her lunch and that means she has to use the stairs.
>I call her multiple times but its still not picking up and she's late
>she's 20 min late now and I hear the elevator ding
>who but fucking fatass aid comes strolling around the corner
>"hamstar I've been calling you for like 20 min, I need help with this entire side of the unit"
>"yeah sorry anon my car wouldn't start in the Wendy's parking lot, had to get a jump"

Later on I check the card logs that let us in and out of the building and fatass aide didn't leave the building, she was so lazy she would rather be late 20 min then use the stairs. Then she got fired about 2 weeks later for banging one of the security guards lol

Making them live together is basically child abuse

>on my way to the gym, had to put some gas in the truck
>filling up I see this shitty old Lincoln slowly pull up to the pump in front of me.
>little girl hops out with a credit card and I can only see a mammoth shadow in the drivers seat. Then I hear it speak
>TELL DEM I ONLY WANT 12 ON PUMP TWO
>little girl runs in and as I'm finishing up putting the pump back I see her come out again while yelling "mama you have to come in to use it he says"
>All hell breaks loose for this fat ass "FUCK THIS PLACE ILL NEVER USE BP AGAIN GET IN THE CAW NOW!"

She was so lazy she sends her little girl into a shop alone at dusk and then doesn't get gas because she has to move.

If only you could shoot up graham crackers

>doing report on a computer with 2 of my co-workers doing the same. Coworker 2 gets up to get a coffee
>call button goes off for some junkie trailer trash who's in for the flu cause the only time she uses a needle it's for heroin
>360lbs women informs me she needs graham crackers because at 5:00am, why the fuck not.
>coworker #1 goes and gets her 2 packs and gives her the "sleep= recover" speech but this bitch hears what she wants.
>coworker 1 returns with her coffee and asks where 2 is and I inform her.
>she kind of scoff's and justifiably shakes her head.
>co workers 1&2 are back by the desk and we hear the trusty bed alarm go off.
> I go to investigate and find she opened up her giant leather purse and is eating pudding cups produced from said purse with graham crackers as the spoon.
>"fatty what are you doing?"
>"it makes my throat feel better."

Mental disorders must run in the family

> go into work a little early and the person I'm replacing on my unit looks pissed
> find out that the parents of a patient called the hospital and reported her for misconduct.
> the patient is a huge 34 year old man who still lives with his parents and is in the hospital for chest pain. After the ER cleared him to go up to my unit his food/fluid restrictions were lifted just until the docs could get in there and see wtf is going on.
> nurse told the patient this and he phoned his parents to bring him something that wasn't hospital food.
> when the nurse discovered 4 bags of McDonald's she said that wasn't allowed.
>hamplanets parents called and reported her
>doctors were pissed they had to specify you can't eat 15 pounds of mcdonalds
>fuck this place

The most useless super power

>Boss at work is a 350 lbs man.
>My stepfather knows him well, he told me he drinks one liter of scotch a day.
>He also told me that on holiday, he goes in his reinforced trailer in his garden and just eat charcuterie (smoked pork meat with tons of fat, things like that) all day.
>I don't believe him.
>Chistmas at work, small party.
>I watch as my boss gulps down booze as if he was a viking hippopotamus.
>mfw he's so fat he is alcoholproof.

Personally I love hospital themed fat people stories

>working in the hospital
>hear patients bed alarm go off, we keep those on crazies or confused patients bed for such an event
>paitent is a Hambeast, easily 400lbs
>"why are you getting out of bed fatty?"
>"anon I HATE WATER, I HATE IT!"
>"We'll you can't get up, you can support yourself and you can only have clear liquids"
>"Coke-cola is clear, go get me one"
>"fatty no that dosent count as clear, only water"
>by this time my co workers can hear her with a mix of amusement and disgust as she begins to do that bullshit fake cry
>"Anon water gives me heartburn!"

Hospitals have given me so many FPS and I'm not a better person for it...

Is McDonalds a magnet for mobility scooters?

happened a few months ago
>gym bro and i at McDonald's post-gym (dat winter dirty bulkan)
>make my order, waiting for food, go to drink station and fill up
>as i take a sip of my water i look out window and happen to see their drive-thru line
>ambulocetus in drive-thru on scooter
>spit all over gym bro, look of horror on my face from what i've seen
>"man, what the FUCK?!" he's angry and confused that i spit on him
>i point, tell him to look
>he sees... "man... what the fuck?"
>order is ready
>employee says, "oh that's mr fatasfatass. he rides his scooter up here every day"

america! fuck yeah!

Why working in an office is bad

>start work in a new office as a fresh faced intern with 4 other colleagues
>they're all loud stumpy fat women and I'm an aspie 5'9 fimsy by comparison grill
>few months roll past, learn office dynamics well and how retarded they are
>learn fast to bring in my own water into the office as the admin would snipe at me for having to make her order more water for the office
>they all have bottles of soda and starbucks cups littered on their desks, never drink an ounce of water
>started to leave gym stuff under my desk so I could just go to gym straight after work, apparently they were under the impression they were dirty clothes and got written up for it
>next day the admin brings in her daughter and her bf to do filing for her, because that obviously isn't inappropriate considering it's confidential auditable material, swallow the warning because this bitch is helping to train me
>office doesn't have a fridge because everyone just goes across the street to some maccas, resort to bringing a cooler bag with my premade lunches
>maybe after two months of requesting they let me order a bar fridge, is immediately stuffed with their fatty snacks and giant bottles of soda
>still nowhere to put my lunches, fortunately I had moved not far from the office so I just wound up walking home to eat
>dress code is unheard of, they'd all be wearing stained hoodies track pants and runners regardless of whether they ran a day in their lives or not, $600 on business attire wasted trying to impress these careless pigs
>if they knew sexy pants supervisor was going to visit they'd throw on some pencil skirt busting at the seams and those loose flowery granny shirts that office dwelling hamplanets seem to consider business casual
>mfw colleagues skirt slits all the way up her ass, decide not to tell her when she goes out to lunch to stuff her face

endless fat people stories and fit shaming at my old office.

A typical day at the gym?

I wouldn't normally post something like this, as atleast these planetoids are making the effort to excercise - the ending is worth it though.



>fatties do some 20 min cardio
>doing rear flies in the dumbbell section they do 2 benches down and sit
>one of them has a written program and starts deciphering the drawings with fatty friend
>discuss a bit the picks up low weights and decideds to do ohp with wrong form, she even has a slight hunch back
>other land whale just watches the whole time
>im doing rear fly dropsets, mp3 on but still hear them make a comment about my odd exercise
>rack up barbell for pendalays
>hear the fatty doing ohp say 'omg im such a mozzarella! all my muscles have gona away'
>cant help but giggle

I would hate your school too pal

>Be black-me in blackschool, sitting with my fellow blacks
>I am considered 'popular' because I am black, yet I do not fail every fucking course I'm enrolled in and blacks 'spect dat'
>Suddenly, screech like a fucking banshee is heard
>CHAOS (Well known fact in Black school, if shit goes down, a bitch will scream to signal to other blacks that shit is, indeed, going down)
>I remain calm because I recognize the screamer to be the fattest, most disgusting bitch in class
>I calmly turn in my seat to face her (I sit in the back, right-hand corner of the class while she sits front and center)
>The girl is literally crying her eyes out as her friend kind of half-heartedly comforts her
>I follow her line of sight until my eyes rest upon a piece of chocolate cake on the ground
>Mfw a cake-chomping fattietista (She calls herself a fashionista, but I think fattieista suits her better) screamed bloody murder over a dropped piece of cake
>She proceeds to eat the remainder of the cake that was on her friend's desk

I fucking hate my school

Fat People Stories: Hospital Edition

>be 11
>be 240lbs obesemode, never knew I was that fat until I was weighed in the hospital, always had friends to stick up for me at the time.
>have appendicitis
>go in for surgery
>be almost 9 years later
>read this post
>think about all the stupid fat kid shit I did back then
>think about how much lard the Doctor must of had to hack through in order to reach my appendix
>think about how paranoid I was that the cute nurse lady in the OR was going to peek up my gown and see my balls
>think about the time I pissed on the floor off the side of my bed because getting up to go to the bathroom was excruciating and caused my stitches to tear from my stomach hanging down. They gave me a pot to piss in that was, ironically, right next to the bathroom across the pediatric room I was in.
>Think about how much of a smart ass I was and how ruthlessly they would have made fun of me in surgery.

I'm glad those times are over now. Those guys do good work. A friend of mine is a Nurse and she's stressed as fuck over her job. There are defenitly some good people working in medicine.

Well not really crazy or outrageous or anything but..

>be in college
>always see this morbidly obese hispanic dude who ALWAYS eats more than 2 plates of food
>have pizza bar in the school dining hall so he is always assured a slice of pizza
>always feel bad for him
>he is famous in a campus of over 20,000 human beings, solely for his obesity
>no, seriously, every fucking person I talk to (whether they live on campus or not) knows exactly who I am talking about, what the fuck
>live on 16th floor of my resident hall
>elevator stops on the 2nd floor
>literally the floor above the lobby
>stairwell is exactly half a flight long
>morbidly obese mexican walks in wearing the same button up shirt and jean shorts he wears everyday
>it is 17 degrees outside (Southern Illinois) and there is snow outside
>he is too fat to wear anything else

I later had the misfortune of meeting him. He's a real fucking asshole, believe it or not. Real scum of the earth kind of guy. Safe to say, I no longer feel any sympathy for the man.

Planet Fitness and the Lunk Alarm: Not even once

>poorfag college student
>only local gym I can afford is Planet Fitness
>join anyways
>things are going great
>losing weight
>other people in the gym start to realize that I purposefully position myself in a place where I can observe the fattest person currently in the gym to motivate myself
>like a dozen fatties complain to staff
>staff confront me
>get into argument
>yelling insues
>they set off the lunk alarm for a weak skinny fat 120 pound female because I'm using "slurs" and intimidating the people in the gym
>don't go back
>get issued a letter like 2 weeks later telling me I'm barred from returning to any Planet Fitness facility

Please, leave the shirt on

>be skinny whole childhood
>dad and step mom are fat cunts
>always trying to force feed me unhealthy shit
>hate when I undersized
>am now a man
>buff as fuck
>invite them to my house to use my pool
>shirt comes off
>step mom mirin
>dad won't take off his shirt
>other fat relatives won't even look at the pool
>mom takes me aside and tells me that my real dad was ringo starr

McDonalds: Arbeit Macht Frei edition

>Working at McDonald's
>Store is having renovations done
>Guy in charge of contractors is fatasfatass
>I'm putting fries in fryer
>He tries to walk past
>Even with me being as small as I was (Auschwitz mode) there's not enough room
>I get caught on him
>dragged several meters down the aisle
>Finally free myself
>he mutters an apology
>scarred for life

Dominos Bread Bowl Pastas aint got nothing on this guy.

>Lunch room, personal pan pizza day
>6" round pizzas
>See fat kid buy one, walk to trash can
>Scrapes all of the cheese and sauce off into trash forming breadbowl
>Allofmywat.jpg
>Walks over to condiment stand
>Fills breadbowl with ranch
>Drinks ranch out of the breadbowl before leaving condiment stand
>Refills breadbowl with ranch
>Lumbers over to table and sits down
>Proceeds to eat ranch like cereal out of his pizza breadbowl
>Finishes ranch, eats ranch covered breadbowl
>Hands covered in ranch
>Nearly vomit

I wish this story was fake. I'm haunted with this memory.

Nobody wakes up one day and says that they want to be a fatass.

I can understand why people chooses food for an addiction (just like any other drug). Nobody wakes up one day and says that they want to be a fatass. They're eating to hide their emotions. Yes, all fatties need to exercise and eat healthy, but the weight won't stay off for good if they don't work on their emotional baggage.

Take David Smith as a great example. He was fat for pretty much a majority of his life. He was molested as a kid and used food to hide his emotions and to try to not be "attractive". He was a fatass for a huge part of his life. He did get a personal trainer, hate healthy, exercised and lost the weight. But he gained all back. Why? Because he never dealt with this real issues. He failed to work on himself mentally/spiritually, and because of it became a drug addicted and an alcoholic. He lost his best friend (who was his personal trainer), and when drugs/alcohol didn't fix his issues he turned back to food and became a hamplanet again.

People who have been fat for a majority of their life have emotional baggage. If they refuse to work their bullshit out, they'll never be able to keep off the weight.

Fat People Stories

>fat friend wants to go to a over eaters meeting
>she forces me to go with her through various forms of guilt
>we get there, i'm getting dirty or confused looks
>a lot of the fat people are avoiding the veggie platter that's put out, I grab a couple broccoli trees
>these fat people start whining and complaining about fucking everything
>it's hard for me to not laugh at them
>girl who is maybe 19, 5'1 and what i estimate 250 lbs gets up
>"my whole life i've felt the pressure to be pretty and sexy"
>clearly you, much like your knees have buckled under said pressure, i thought
>"i wear so much makeup and always do my best to appear pretty for society. Most days I eat nothing but a bagel or oatmeal for breakfast. but I have bad days like today where I just eat and eat and eat"
>I try not to laugh. Clearly most days are her bad days
>"I have too much pressure to be beautiful. All women do. And then they make fun of us for being over weight, curvy or wearing makeup"
>she described in vivid detail all 8 of her meals. trying to replicate this would do a disservice to her beautiful words to the chicken tenders she grazed upon while working, or the cake she had at her one of her co-workers birthday
>soon, I realized this is how all the people felt. Society was their enemy and their own poor habits were forced upon them
>person after person got up and blamed everything from having kids to being a rebel to being a closeted gay
>the host at one point gestured my way and said "You look like you have a lot on your mind, son. "
>I refused his invitation
>at the end he gives and inspiring speech. "Only you can change you. You must believe in yourself and coming here was the first step. If you want to create healthy habits you are well on your way. I did it and you can do it too."
>on the way out after mingling among the cows for a few minutes I over hear the first girl that got up and spoke "I'm so hungry. I think I'll hit up Jack'n The Box"
>mfw

Fat people get tired easily, it's a vicious circle

>college today
>walking out of parking garage that's connected to the college
>on the 2nd floor
>elevator opens that's next to a flight of stairs
>out comes waddling some behemoth

This is on the same level as those damn mobility scooters. I had a mix bag of emotions right there; mad, humored, disappointed., etc.

Ignorance is bliss, as they say

>on dinner with family
>male and female cousin there
>he's skinny, she's chubby
>"No matter how much I eat, I never gain weight"
>"Eat more" I tell him
>"Sometimes it's just genetics, you can't change it", chubby cousin tells me
>"That's not true, cuz"
>"Yes it is", says skinny cousin
>"No it's not, just count your calories"
>"Like I'll sit and count calories like a woman"

Over here, counting calories is frowned upon.
Once a friend of mine found out I did and started rambling about how doing that makes you a sissy, which I didn't give a fuck about but it surprises me how the general public is totally ignorant to how their own body works.

Scooters for Obese People: The Truth

this happend a couple of months ago.
>at a local surplus store
>getting my chicken/tuna etc.
>see a >300lb 16 or 17 yr old kid riding a scooter
>feel kinda bad for him.
>notice he dosnt have his left leg.
>he is wearing one of those high tech. android legs.
>notice that the guy comes from a wealthy family.
>see him wearing Jordan everything and playing around with his iphone.
>see him 20 min. later at the check out line.
>see his father and mother both using the motorized scooters.
>all they were buying was fucking junk candy, nuttella, ect.
>see him with two boxes of frito fun packs in his cart.
>see him acctually caressing the boxes and liking his lips.
>allmywat.jpg
>pay and leave, as we were loading my stuff into my truck my 2 yr old spotted the bluuber bionic boy with his parents and said. "LOOK DADDY FATASS"
appantly i was calling them names and thats the word that she picked up..
Now everytime we see a obese landwhale in public she openly calls them a fatass.
i don't really know how to feel about this..

Kids of mum who defied Jamie Oliver and fed them burgers through school gates are fat

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/kids-of-mum-who-defied-jamie-150132

Julie Critchlow ­shovelling pies, ­burgers, chips and fizzy pop through the bars in defiance of Jamie Oliver

Jamie Oliver & Julie Critchlow (Pic: Channel 4)

She famously enraged Jamie Oliver by selling junk food to children through a school fence as he battled to ­improve menus.

As pictures showed ­“Sinner Lady” Julie Critchlow ­shovelling pies, ­burgers, chips and fizzy pop through the bars in defiance of the chef’s healthy school dinners campaign, she was called “the worst mum in Britain”.

Jamie himself branded her a “t**t” and a “big old ­scrubber” before they later met and made up.

Now five years on, carer Julie, 48, and her two ­child­ren are all overweight ­according to official health guidelines. But she is unrep­ent­ant... and still insists Jamie was wrong.

Julie, of Doncaster, South Yorks, said: “That Jamie is a lovely lad. His heart is in the right place, but he doesn’t know what he’s on about.

“My kids are living proof that a good British diet ­including chips, mash, ­sausages and bacon butties helps them turn out just fine. I also feed my kids salads and lots of fruit. But I let them eat stuff that tastes good too. They are happy, beautiful and have no serious health problems.”

Posing with son Steven, 16, and daughter Rachael, 20, a new mum to six-month-old Ellie, she insists they have turned out perfectly.

Before the extra weight put on in pregnancy, Rachael, was a Size 14 ­weighing 11½ stone at 5ft 6in. A healthier weight for a ­woman her height is ­around nine stone.

Steven, at 6ft 1in, weighs 14 stone... only slightly ­overweight. But he describes himself as fat. Julie, at 5ft 8in, is herself 12½ stone and a Size 16, putting her in the overweight range.

But she won’t accept that Jamie might have had a point. “He’s not a doctor,” she says. “He has opinions about food, which he’s entitled to. But judging by the way my kids turned out, I’d say I was right and he was wrong.

“If I’d done everything Jamie wanted they would have starved themselves through school and been robbed of the pleasure of eating food they like.”

Happy belated Australia Day your Cakeness

>aussie day
>party at my house
>sister invites her elephant seal harem
>my friends all in pool fucking around
>harem is sitting on patio eating cake
>hear them talking about how they have bad metabolism and using it as excuse as to why they're fat
>friend is vegetarian, so have tofu burger for him
>one seal says "ew I dont like tofu"
>we can tell. Its not for you. Have some more cake.
>seal goes back to eating cake with rest of harem
>seal passes out later from too much alcohol
>sister gets me to deadlift her into a taxi
>nearly drop her from laughter