A birthday to emewmber

>Out partying for mates birthday
>Getting shitfaced, pub crawl, "no 2 drinks the same" rule, 2 drinks per pub rule. Shots every now and then
> Fuckin rat shit at end of the night, don't wanna go home without some action
> Chubby bitch shows some interest, being super beta trying to carry me/help me etc. Keeps alluding that she wants me to crash at her joint for the night, presumably to rape
>End up going home with her
> Get to her house, she lives alone, awesome, easy to bail in the morning
> Fall on the bed full clothed, ready to pass out
> Bed makes crinkly noise, like fuckin cellophane
>she cannon balls me, starts fuckin gorgin at my face with her big mouth, cheeks slobbery against my face
>Still remember the feels, like vietnam, shell shocked.
>Decide fuck it, might as well fuck it, no one has to know
>Start fucking her, wasn't so bad, she was chubby but nice face, nice eyes, big tits, kinda like typical heavy metal fan chick
> She stops and reaches under her bed and pulls out these fuckin black beads
>Wants to put em up my ass
>Whatever gets you off, drunk as fuck, go to town chubcitybitch
>Beads up my ass and she starts jerkin my dick telling me to cum on her
> Feels awesome
>Bout to blow my shit
>"Im gonna cum"
>Bitch REEFS beads out of my ass
>Shit billows out like fucking smog from a cargo ship
>Shit and cum everywhere
>She does like chubby giggle, smearing cum all over her tits, doesnt give a fuck about the shit
>Freaking the fuck out, put all my clothes on
>Shit running down my leg as I pull pants over the top and do my belt up
> She's loving the shit and cum fuckin snowball mudfest on her bed
>I dont say a word, bout to fuckin leave
>Realise the bed is covered in plastic
>Sheplannedthis.jpg
>Get the fuck out of there
>Had to tell my friends
>Never saw her again
>Never forget.

all of my shame

>fat female friend has been hinting that she wants the d
>pick her up, hang out for a bit
>says she wants mcdonalds
>cheap date, i'm not against it
>buy her mickey dees. she orders twice as much as me
>suggest we go back to my place to eat it
>once finished, she proceeds to give me a blowjob
>it's meh
>i splooge in her mouth, proceed to fuck her
>meh
>splooge again
>i ask, "what do you wanna do now?"
>"i'm hungry. how about some taco bell?"
>bertstare, i'm still full as fuck from last meal
>get her taco bell and drop her off back at her place

she kinda slutted around my group of friends for a few years. i can safely say we've all banged her out one time or another. we always share lulz.

epilogue
>she has the beetus now, and is fatter than ever

>Dumped by my 7/10 gf.
>Month passes.
>Had mild success with craigslist whores in the past.
(ALL craigswhores are damaged goods in some way, don't forget that.)
>Find a hairdresser/burlesque dancer.
>Perfect mix of lack of ambition in life and lack of inhibition required for casual sex.
>search her email, find her pictures
>she's 5'10" and at least 210
>hesitate for a moment
>"ohemgee #yolo"
>Take her for subpar sushi
>Go to my house, put on an episode of Arrested Development.
>Giving fewer fucks as I find she has the personality of a dry sponge.
>Take my finger and use it to direct one of her chins to face me.
>Make out.
>First observation: she won't move.
>Doing some light petting, I can tell she's into it.
>But still petrified.
>Take her to the bedroom, strip both us down, she plants herself on her back.
>Says she doesn't give good blowjobs.
>I go blank.
>She's clean and has nice skin, so I decide to eat her out, maybe it'll help her loosen up.
>Nothing special.
>I mount.
>She's not particularly tight (I'm average)
>She's enjoying it.
>I get off once.
>Talk for a while, I get even more bored by stories of hair customers so I shut her up by fucking her again.>Get off twice (I'm a little surprised.)
>Still lies like a dead carp the entire time.
>I make up something about picking up my friend at 12:30a and kick her out.
>Take a shower.
>Call up my ex and convince her to let me come over.
>We fuck like animals until 4a, my manwhore shame is negated by pushing the soulless experience out of my head.

>be drinking at apartment swinming pool
>Two land whales mirin' me from the deep end
>Always had been curious What chubby monkey was like.
>start drinking like its my job, get as hammered as fast while chatting up these fatties.
>Finally feel drunk enough
>"my name is anon and I live in apartment 212"

I honestly would have had a threesome but only one of them fit on my twin bed.

Btw I'm a grill

>local coffee shop hires me and one other girl
>other girl is very tall ambulocetus
>everyone else in shop is small and wiry due to caffeine stunting growth
>training
>boss identifies everything in breakfast case
>"unnngh that looks goooooood ohhhh maaaan"
>fatty making orgasm noises after each pasty is described
>we have to gradually try each drink as we make them
>fatty continually says "I don't think I can drink all that"
>drinks it all
>my IBS is acting up so I sip each of mine and then see who wants the rest
>fatty every time
>boss showing us how to make breakfast bagels and sandwiches
>fatty consumes both hers and mine, complete with huge amounts of cream cheese
>more orgasm noises when we go through the bagel flavors and toppings
>sorting truckload of syrup
>more orgasm noises

but here's the kicker:

>makes fun of fat people that come into shop
>plays "fat or pregnant"
>judges others for getting whipped cream on drinks while practically inhaling the stuff herself when we practice doing it
>brings up her gastric bypass she got in 2005 each chance she gets

>tfw nobody can stand her and her northern accent or how she gets in the way behind the small crowded counter
>tfw I'm the one that gets laid off because my IBS is acting up the first couple weeks and I keep having to leave the counter and kitchen for long stretches of time

>be 16
>be horny as shit start of summer to senior year
>have chubby girl always texting and hinting she wants the d
>friend convinces me "fuck it whatever who will know"
>invite her over the one time I have open house
>she asks what do you want to do
>i make out with her and get her in my room because what the fuck do you think you're here for
>half hour of this garbage pit
>she finally gets naked and is jerking me
>I tell her to get on the bed while I go get condom
>cannot find fucking condom so I get one from my brother's room
>come back and she's leaned against my bedpost
>i climb aboard and try to stick it in
>my knee literally smacks the fucking wall as I come down
>she does not open her legs the tiniest bit for me to slide anything in
>I ask her to open her legs a bit like she were sitting pretzel style (idk she had sex only once before and I was trying to be nice)
>she says she isnt flexible enough to to that
>allofmywhat.jpeg
>take my damn matress and put it on the floor
>tell her to get on the floor
>grab one leg and put it on my shoulder, grab the other and have it awkwardly on my side
>ram it in while holding up pounds of leg
>go for a few minutes til i hear strange thumping noise
>realize every time I thrust I smack her head into my nightstand
>ask if she's okay
>*huff* yes *huff* *huff* yes. Literal 30 seconds between each yes
>whatthefuckareyoudoing.docx
>little bit more of this and I fake finish
>tell her she should just leave

I drove her to my house and made her get her own ride back home

>Go to bar
>Get shit face with friend
>We both end up talking to this group of 6 whales
>Mackin on the "prettiest" of the bunch, if that exsists
>Hit it off
>She wants the D
>Go to Denny's with all her whale friends
>Her mom drops all of us off at my place
>lolwut
>We're still drinking at like 5am
>Invite her back to room, bro get the hint
>Start to make out with her
>She tries to tongue fuck my face
>Whatever I get naked and get her naked
>Wtf the tiniest fucking tits on this bitch
>Stick my dick in her raw dog
>Lasts about 1 minute before she stops me
>I can't do this
>I'm not that kind of girl
>Gets dressed and leave
>Jesusfuckingfuck
>Go to bed angry as fuck

everytime I banged a fatty I was drunk as hell
>be drunk fuck this 5/10 fatty atleast she had a good face
>not be self conscious
>not give a fuck about pleasing her or what she might think if I bust too early etc
>realize this is the real reason I probably fucked a fatty
>also pretty drunk though
next morning I swear to myself I wont let it happen again no matter how drunk I get
but then next time I saw that same fat chick
>be drunk as hell laying on friends couch
>she starts giving me a back massage
>dem fat fingers feel heavenly
>proceed to fuck her face
>cum all over her make sure not to spill any on my friends carpet
next day promise myself I wont do it again no matter how drunk I get.
haven't seen her since so I guess it worked (technically)

>be chilling with neighbors
>girls decide to go to another apartment just to check it out so me and bros go with
>get there bunch of neckbeard dyel mode pussies
>be playing waterfall and hear ruckus
>guy tells kind of chubby girl to leave and starts being forcefull
>says hes fucked her already so theres no point
>girl yells it wasnt even good
>embarrassment ensued
>then embarrassed rage, and he rushes towards the girl
>me being drunk and ready to fight I get in the middle
>couple punches thrown, kids down
>ask girl if she wants to be fucked right
>she says yes
>take her back to my apartment for pound town
>Tear it up, had some nice tits and a tight pussy
>ended up cheating on my fit girlfriend
>bad feels when I was sober

This guy is Top Gun

>work at chipotle
>new girl comes in
>fatasfatass
>tats
>insecure
>skrillex haircut
>shitty at her job
>thinks EVERYONEs out to get her
>clings to me because im nice to her
>she mistakes this for flirtation
>fast forward 3.5 months
>christmas party
>at a Dave & busters
>im drunk as fuck
>playing that basket ball game against a black co worker
>shouting NOVAK REBORN every time i beat him
>people laughing
>she's mirin
>Party's over
>i go to drive home
>oh no i cant let such precious cargo drive in this state
>offers me a ride home
>i accept
>she drives me to her house
>brings me to her back yard
>Sneaks me into her garage
>she blows me until hard
>i tell her to go doggy style
>cant find her puss
>too many folds
>too drunk to care
>shove it into a fold
>it's not her vag
>dont care
>i hear a sigh of disappointment
>i cream pie her fold
>pass out
>wake up with her staring at me
>oh fuck
>apologize and ask to get a ride back to my car
>she accepts
>tells EVERYONE
>my GM was chill as fuck and put me on separate shifts than her
>she gets fired 4 weeks later
>never saw her again

>know chubbyfat with nice face, skin and tits
>chillin one day
>everyone else leaves
>eventually play with her tits some
>realize I'm about to cause some serious drama
>put tits away
>awkward silence
>"well, the good news is, you aren't showing any signs of breast cancer!"
>laughing_negroes.png
>leave
>still friends, never did anything like that again; friends with her husband

>vacation to Turks and Caicos
>Drinks inclusive
>good inclusive
>Oh god yes
>drunk with my brother
>go to Irish pub
>serving up carbombs
>fatty hollering at me
>hey there boyo come over here and drink with us
>fuck it
>bro comes up to me pissed
>where's my drink faggot?
>oh shit sorry i took a shot with these people
>angelic music
>girl my little bros age with huge tits
>anon...im gonna get in there
>i say good luck shes guarded by her tubby sis and bulkan step bro
>he sweet talks the bulkan
>asks me to wing him
>seduct the fatty
>y'know i aint like other girls...
>of course not
>y'all have to work to get this
>shakes what i can only assume are two roasted pigs she shoved into the back side of her pants
>we go swimming
>take off my shirt
>barely out of DYEL
>barely visable abs
>ok y'all worked enough
>drags me inside her bedroom
>starts blowing me
>oh god it feels like finger nails on my dick
>she smiles up at me
>crooked as fuark teeth
>bend her over her bed
>she finishes
>my lord i aint never done felt that there before
>ok
>asscheek fuck time
>blow my loadon her lower back
>she passes out
>i go back downstairs
>catch my little bro getting a handy in the elevator
>mission accomplished all aircraft report

>at bar
>pretty drunk
>chatting with random grill
>female friend cock-blocks me making other girl walk away
>fucks sake
>friends fat sister asks if want to make out
>whynot.jpg
>go home with her
>hard to missionary due to her gut
>bank doggy style
>not turned on
>her grunting like an overloaded truck
>finally unload
>pass out
>wake up in the morning
>start chewing my arm off
>sneak out of her house leaving a bloody trail
>don'tcaregotsex.jpg

>be 14-15
>older sister throwing a party
>fat friend comes and starts feeding me drinks
>whenever she laughs around my friends she makes this weird moaning noise
>huEEEgh hueEEGH hueEEEGH
>snorts between fits of laughter
>white piggu
>end of the night some how get to the point wear her hands in my pants while sitting on my couch
>take her to my room where she force feeds herself my dick
>finish and tell her to leave
>proceed to go to bed, wake up next day with no fucks given

Serious post for a moment

If anyone has any links to FREE (preferably quality) healthy eating, weight loss, or other such things, e-books, pdfs, etc, either email me storiesaboutfatpeople@gmail.com or post them as a comment here.

Then I'll add them as permanent links at the top of the page.

If even one person puts that fork down, it'll be worth it.

>house party
>only one girl who is single
>hitting on her
>probably 270lbs
> huge tits
>ended up making out in owner's bed
>she wants the d
>couldnt get hard for fatty
>sucked my dick like it was candy

Yes, this is the only way to stop gay marriage.

Thin privilege is having dogs play with you.

http://thisisthinprivilege.tumblr.com/post/60765037525/thin-privilege-is-having-dogs-play-with-you

I consider myself a fairly active person (tennis three times a week, walking around town daily, etc.) and I eat pretty healthy (fast food or eating out only once a month now). So I’m pretty healthy, but I’m also plus size.
I went with my friend to her cousin’s bar barque this week and was so excited to find out he has two border collies. I am a total dog person.
We get into the back yard and I introduce myself to everyone including the dogs. After we eat, we sit down to relax and the cousin starts to play fetch with the dogs. After a while he gets tired but the dogs still want to play. I offer to throw the tennis balls around with them, but the cousins stops me.
"Oh, they won’t play with fat people!"
“What?”
“They don’t play with fat people. Fat people don’t run around fast enough to keep up, and they stop playing because they get tired, so the dogs don’t bother.”
I was completely insulted by te insinuation that being fat meant you couldn’t run around and enjoy physical activity, but I decided to ignore him and grabbed two tennis balls anyway. I threw them across the yard and get this! The dogs didn’t chase them. They just sat there and starred at me even though a minute before they were begging for the balls to be thrown!
Thin privilege is not being discriminated against and assumed incapable of physical activity by both dog AND owner.

>I was completely insulted by the insinuation that being fat meant you couldn't run around and enjoy physical activity,
No I'm pretty sure that's exactly what being fat indicates.

The dogs were border collies.
Border collies confirmed for smarter than the average tumblr user

GOD BLESS AMERICA

> Visiting family in Idaho
> Decide to visit Horse Races
> Get our tickets, start walking in, we're about 5 minutes late because we had to grab betting money from the ATM
> National Anthem currently in process
> We haven't entered yet but we remove our hats and wait for the Anthem to end
> Hamplanet with a mobility scooter comes through the gate
> Scooter screaming under the weight
> Doesn't stop or remove his cowboy hat, just slowly drives in while his scooter moans in protest
> Couldn't hear the rest of the Anthem because Fatty McFatFat had to get his reserved seat