Welp. Enjoy your aids.

>be at party
>pregamed with 5 redbull/vodka tonics, 32oz old english, spice (legal cannabinoids), 60mg adderall xr, 30mg xanax and a spliff in the car on the way over
>house party is some faggot that invited way too many people over seriously there are people spilling out everywhere and a line of cars in the woods leading up to the house
>whatever, everything is cool
>2/10 fat girl eying me the whole time
>dancing and shooting the shit with friends
>all of a sudden I need to sit down and I feel really fucking weird
>sit down on couch, what feels like hours passes
>face is numb and I can hardly feel anything, moving my body seems like it has a delay to it, things that move in front of me develop small trails
>remember to blink, that's why my eyes were hurting
>fat chick spots me, comes rushing over
>starts grinding on me
>I don't even know what plane I'm on and can't speak
>grinding turns into grinding in panties
>she takes off her top
>people nearby start clapping and shouting encouragement
>she takes my dick out of my shorts, pushes her panties to the side and starts riding it
>I literally cannot speak and can hardly feel anything
>tunnel vision is severe, people in the party are brown blurs
>she finished riding me, gets down and starts jacking me off
>I cum and am only aware that I came because I saw my dick shoot semen
>she zips my shorts back up and winks at me
>still can't speak or move
>spend the rest of the party like this, sitting on the couch aware of stuff happening around me but unable to move or speak
>don't know where fat girl or my friends went
>feel sick and lightheaded but don't actually throw up
>a couple of hours after the party has mostly ended realize I can get off the couch and start walking home
>sun rises while I'm walking home, realize I have no idea where I am
>call friend from a gas station's phone, he comes and gets me
>apparently I was actually talking last night, mostly bullshit, though I have no recollection of this

Longest boring story ever

>In Whittier California visiting friend's girl cousin going to college there, staying in the dorms
>Hooked up in the past, dodging her this trip
>Last night of trip
>Sunday, not much going on, all her friends going to some cigar shop/bar that plays live music
>Getting drinks in there, dancing
>Fat girl keeps gravitating towards me (or pulling me in towards her field, not sure)
>Very good looking face, chubby belly, giant ass
>Not my style but perfectly proportionate for a fat girl to be top of her peers
>Keep ditching her, avoiding eye contact
>Cholos in Dodgers gear keep trying to talk to her, blowing them off
>I'm blowing her off
>They're mad dogging me
>Getting drunker and more upset that these fools are staring me down the whole time
>Don't feel like getting shanked
>Fuck it, fat girl comes and stands right in front of me
>Pretend I'm just now noticing her
>Talk
>Kind of dance
>Exchange numbers and dip out
>Head back to dorms
>Friend passes out on floor
>His cousin in bed with me, not interested in her, tell her I have to leave and get some air when she tries to make a move
>Text fatty, see if she wants to meet up (about 3 hours had passed)
>Pick her up, about 1am, I'm not familiar with the area, she doesn't have any ideas
>Head to top of a parking garage we were driving by
>Start making out in front seat of my truck
>Not really enough room to beat guts, hard enough with smaller girls anyways
>Take her hand and put it on muh dick, she understands my intentions
>After a few minutes feel obligated to return the favor since
>Keeps moving my hand away
>Finally tells me she can't, on her period
>Sweet! Then starts giving the most appreciative blow job I have ever experienced
>Take her home
>Awkward conversation whole way there about hoping I still talk to her when back home and telling me she comes out to Vegas a lot
>Okay bye, get back to the dorm, grab my bag off the floor
>Wake buddy up
>Drive home at 3am
>Texts me for a few weeks and gives up

My mind is going in overdrive

>Work at Disney
>turkey leg booth is packed
>nvm it looks packed because of the 4 man hamplanet party
>something is off
>Mother hamplanet sticks the turkey leg in what used to be her cleavage so her hands are free for her bag of chips
>MFW she eats the turkey leg likes its on a skewer, on her tits.
>Grease everywhere.

Lel

>Be ill with severe chest infection which just wont budge.
>Beta fattie that's been talking to me on fb for a while now, prolly likes me as he always wants to hang out.
>Not interested, made clear.
>Hears I care about diet and exercise, so starts making more of an effort and joins gym.
>Respect.jpg
>Opening conversations with gym related activities, to rub in my face as I cannot currently workout, or possibly to get me interested.
>Begins to irritate me.
>Be in work today, see him waddle past, still fattie, and showing no signs of weightloss.
>Gets on fb this evening, status update "Chicken Selects are fucking beast!"

Roast Rage

>Be four
>Be at day care
>Thought I saw my mom
>No, she looked like my mom, but was fatter
>Being four, I announced it to said fat woman
>"I thought you was my mom but I knew you wasn't cuz you're fat."
>Not malicious, just stating the obvious.
>Overweight daycare worker overheard and loses her shit
>She's fucking livid and when my mom gets there she makes it sound like she wants my mom to treat me like I kicked a fucking puppy
>My mom: "I don't think she meant to be mean..."
>Fat bitch daycare lady couldn't accept that, she was basically telling my mom how to punish me.

I got a talking to about it, but it was only a lesson in tact mostly. That fat daycare lady was kind of a bitch in general from what I remember. But after that incident she hated me specifically until my last day there. Because I called someone else fat. When I was 4

Traditional Sushi Flavour

>Go to all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant for dat fish protein
>get the booth across from Jabba the Pizza Hutt
>halfway through third smoked salmon roll when I overhear tub-o-lard raising her voice at the barely-english-speaking waiter
>wants the chef to take out the tuna from the tuna and cream cheese sushi and bring her LITERALLY RICE AND CREAM CHEESE.
>waiter timidly tells gargantuan that the sushi chef doesn't change his recipes, and she'd have to order something else if she didn't want tuna on it
>"WELL FINE THEN JUST GIVE ME THE TUNA ON IT, GAWD."
>ten minutes later I see her hunched over her place, unwrapping each piece of sushi, separating the ingredients into little piles, one for tuna, one for rice, and one for cream cheese
>then, using her chopsticks like a spoon, mixes the cream cheese and rice together and starts shoveling it into her mouth

I left a 20$ tip for that waiter, because I doubt she did.

She just has rolls of fat behind her that seep some kind of waste fluid

>Respond to craigslist ad from girl in the platonic section because I just want to hang out with somebody and I'd feel weird responding to an ad from a dude.
>She sends me her picture (pic related)
>Oh well, I'm just trying to hang out it's not like I'm gonna try and fuck or anything she likes xbox so we could play some games or something.
>Get there (Turns out it's her mom's apartment. Her mother and mom's boyfriend is still there.)
>She is a single mother
>Okay I can put this aside if it's just platonic
>Hanging out there playing aliens colonial marines on her xbox with her mom/mom's boyfriend/kid watching.
>Feel prickling on my leg
>look down
>Fucking fleas from her cat
>Oh god
>Her mother asks me when I'm gonna marry her daughter
>'Not yet mom, me and my boyfriend just met a little while ago'
>Oh god no.
>Boyfriend is high out of his fucking mind on what smells like crystal meth.
>He starts cracking up laughing his ass off
>He gets up and leaves the room
>Hear him laughing in the parking lot
>He won't stop laughing
>Potato keeps trying to get closer
>Reach edge of couch/wall scootching away
>She's got me cornered
>She's grabbing my thigh and rubbing my dick
>Her mother is watching silently.
>She reaches for my belt
>Panic, get up and run out back to my car.
>Get the fuck out of there.
>Boyfriend is still laughing his ass off in the parking lot.

YOUTUBE B-B-B-B-B-BONUS - Half Ton Mom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UrdSzR0BxU

IKTFB - I Know That Feel Bro

There are two kinds of reactions you feel before a road accident,
>oh god i'm going to kill a child, i'll have to live with this forever.

and
>shit, my own life is in danger.

Driving through Birmingham city centre, pulling into the train station car park. Huge fat retarded black girl on the pavement stars walking across the road. I get the second feel.

Is dat Mickey Mouse

>Work at Disney
>group of tibetan monks visiting the park
>brown robes and hands in constant prayer
>see them get off Space Mountain
>(later on in the day saw their pictures, no facial expressions. Gold motherfuckers)
>monks walking by hamplanets
>They are fixated in amazement
>group stops and stares
> whispers among each other
>fatties take notice
>13yo screams "OMG THEY ARE SO KAWII"
>both parties approach each other
>Monks pulls out autograph book
>Translator rushed in and tells them something along (I THINK) that these are real people
>LULZ ensue when monks look visibly frightened and shaken

Tim Hortons: Bulking food of the gods

>be torontofag
>just moved to the city recently
>be taking TTC for them extra wallet gains
>a man the shape of a 400 pound timbit drives his scooter up to bus stop and butts infront of everyone
>disgonbegood.gif
>bus driver lowers bus allows him on
>normal people load o the bus next
>bus driver goes into drive gear
>hear wait!
>wat?
>I need to move. The timbit says
>collective groan
>bus parked again
>timbit makes a mother and daughter move so he can flip the seat up to access the wheelchair spot
>secures himself
>I lel

I rejected a fatty outright: Online dating edition

>talking to some chick
>she seems nice
>arrange a date
>decide to go out to the movies
>a bit overweight but not too much
>rock up to her house
>she comes through the door
>no time to walk the dinosaur
>she's a fucking ham planet
>MANTHEHARPOONS.JPEG
>start driving and immediately try to think of an idea to get out of the situation
>pull over
>pretend to have some fake phonecall, say that my brother has broken his leg and I need to go home
>its obviously bullshit and she knows it, but fuck it
>drop her off
>immediately start burning rubber to GTFO out of there
>delete her number, block her on the dating site
>get a message from her telling me she knows it was bullshit and she doesn't want to see me anymore (like I wanted to see her)
>mfw when I didn't pay for the movie tickets in advance
>I haven't seen her since and give 0 fucks

How to reject fatty advances

>work in retail in a small electronic shop
>enter customer who could be attractive if she lost a lot of weight
>I help her out very basic questions
>didnt think she was hitting on me at all very normal and friendly
>I ring her up
>"oh hey um could you write your phone number on the receipt in case in doesnt work"
>what the fuck I thought this happened to girls in movies
>I glance up then start panicking , I hate it when im put on the spot
>start to turn red because customers are now looking at me like their favorite show dropped a drama bomb
>I enter beta mode
>"I uh...call the store if you have a problem..."
>"well okay, you're really friendly I liked the service whats your facebook"
>I really start to panic and dont chose my words wisely
>"well...you arent really my type..."
>she looks crushed
>I should mention I have a knack for thinking and saying inappropriate stuff
>think to myself "yeah type 2 diabetes"
>let out a quick laugh
>cant resist I then burst into laughter uncontrollably
>she glances over one last time and leaves
>coworker comes up laughing and said I should have said "we cant give out personal information on the job"
>what can I say I fucking panicked

My girlfriend also has a neighbor who has Alzheimers. His name is Jack and I thought of Jack in metal gear solid 2, then I thought of when Rose said "jack remember the first day we met?" and began laughing because obviously not he has Alzheimer.
She was pretty pissed telling a serious story and having someone laugh.

Im such a dick, maybe im autistic.

Safe sex people,. jesus.

>Be 19
>Having a party at my place
>see chubby girl I had fucked in first year.
>She wants the D.mpeg
>Try to get myself so fucked that I can not respond to her advances.
>smoke an insane amount of weed and do some shots.
>this usually knocks me on my ass but this time it just makes me stupid and horny
>run up to my room and hide/give myself a peptalk
>she opens the door
>has a look of sexual anger on her face.
>my mind goes blank and she dives onto my schlong like some kind of animal.
>resistance is futile
>gives me the best deepthroat I have ever experienced.
>she wants to fuck
>says she is on the pill
>I had never gone in bare and thought it was a bad idea
>I have a theory that fat girls are always tighter because of the increased fat pushing on the walls of the vag.
>this is the best feeling of all life
>blow
>buy the morning after pill the next morning

Drinking: Not even once

>at a party
>9/10 comes up to me
>"hey I was wondering if you're single"
>say yes
>she winks and walks away
>comes back a couple of minutes later
>"hey this is my friend she's single too. you should chat"
>look at thing standing behind her
>4 feet tall
>wide as a basketball
>makeup caked on so heavy she looks like a clown
>she tails me all night, always trying to flirt with me
>keeps telling me im really hot, etc
>toward end of night
>she manages to corner me
>tears in her eyes
>tells me she's going to tell everybody i raped her if i dont make out with her (wut?)
>too drunk to think of a way out of it
>make out with her
>i'm 6'5" so i had to pretty much bend to a 90 degree angle to reach her mouth
>her tongue is in there straight away
>immediately regret, try to pull away
>pretty much sldl her off the ground
>wraps her stubby little legs around me
>i decide to just shove her away
>she falls and bounces a little bit off the ground
>starts screaming like a bitch
>everybody turns on me
>tfw she pretty much raped me by blackmailing with rape
>tfw couldnt get the awful slimy taste of her tongue out of my mouth for days

I want to be 20 again

> Be 20 at university
> Only fucked 2 girls before, but both were 8.5s
> Chubby MILF in my class, finally getting her degree, 35 w/ 2 kids.
> One day she offers to blow me
> It was the best BJ I've ever had
> One night she gets drunk at the bar, calls me for a ride to her friends place
> Get her there. Friend is still at bar.
> I finally decide to fuck her, thinking that if the BJ was that good, the rest might be too.
> So wrong.
> She kept trying to lick my face, and at one point I think she shoved my dick in her ass while she was riding me.
> Made up an excuse about missing a beer pong tournament to get out of there.
> Now shes mad Im ignoring her.

Shallow Hal would be proud

>finally figured out that all it takes to get girls is confidence
>holy shit it was true all along
>go on mad pussy rampage
>sex with 3 grills in a month, when I had just got off of a 3 year dry spell
>fatty hanging out with bro
>she follows me to room
>fatty with big tits that always wears a tank top to show them off
>she wants the D bad
>bored so I just pull out her tits
>meh
>start sucking on them
>she sucks my dick
>I just keep pushing her head down till I cum in her mouth
>OHGODWHATHAVEIDONE
>get out
>she keeps trying to talk to me
>nope

Well at least I didn't fuck her.

Why indeed

FAT PEOPLE STORIES - FATTIES WE FUCKED EDITION



>>went to a club friend just got dumped
>>trying to help him forget.
>>meet two qt3.14s start talking we got a bite...
tell them we should go some were quite plus my friend is pretty gone...
>>two class 9 world destroyers appear
>>don't want to look like a Dick bag and scare the two 8/10s
>>the fatties ask us for our names I say my name is anon and this is...friend says they call me the dirty c...
>>fattie asks why do they call you that
>>friend smiles and starts making out like crazy with the hambeast
>>ohgodwhy.gif
>>look over at 8/10s they immediately look uncomfortable....
>>grab my friend tell the fatties we gotta go
>> gravitational pull is making it a mission to leave...
>> Finally get released take friend home ask him why?
>>he said they looked like 10/10s...

Sometimes you need a slump buster man. No one blames you. Don't let it happen again though.

FAT PEOPLE STORIES - FATTIES WE FUCKED EDITION

>dating a chubby guy who's great with his hands and loves going down on me
>finally get around to having sex
>his gut sticks out farther than his dick
>try to move stomach out of the way so i can even get at it
>dick VISIBLY RETRACTS
>I'm no Helen of Troy but that has never happened before
>guy is moaning up a storm, head thrown back, and i'm not even doing anything
>end up just bouncing on his leg and giving him a handy (more like a two finger-y)
>he cums forever and it's thick, like cottage cheese
>he says it was the best sex he ever had
>mfw






 >dryspell for a couple of weeks cuz have no time
>thinking about calling up fatty I know will give it up easy
>tfw ran into 7/10 fit dominican I used to fuck, and she made me take her back to my place cuz she was on a dryspell too
>tfw we were each others accidental booty calls

Ppatented alpha answer is 'human beings, duh'

>back in Senior year
>meet girl
>she's fat
>I haven't had a girl for a while so I fool around with her
>I was her first kiss
>We hangout a couple times
>finally she asks "what are we?"
>"uhhhh I don't know"
>sit there awkwardly for a half hour
>drop her off and cut off all contact
Now she's a tumblr girl who bitches about everything.
>tfw I wouldn't fuck a fatty because I don't want to taint my families glories lineage with lard

And that's how I lost my virginity to an overweight girl.

>Random party
>Chubby chick all over me
>shut her down constantly due to shyness
>boner won't evens it up while she's topless straddling me ( clothes on )
>Keep turning her movements down
>"anon lets take a shower together, we getting sweaty"
>"no"
I'm self conscious ( fuck you )
>Putting tits in my face constantly, so I suck on them, big D's possibly Double nearing E's.
>Went to bed together and cuddled
>god damn that bitch was boiling hot
>woke up
>started fingering her, two fingers got in ( I don't know what the fuck I'm doing down there )
>Get my barely erect penis out
>Gets ontop without a condom
>all the weight on me and going fast
>cum in less than 2 minutes.




Editors note: Hang in there bud

Yes, why are fat chicks so much more desperate?

>work at a gym
>chat with guys and girls at the desk
>usually everyones cool
>all the good looking, attractive girls get on with training
>all the normal blokes usually just get on with it
>all the fatties and single parents that obviously haven't had any human contact come up to chat
which would be fine but
>it is always about how their day has been
>always about how they can't lost weight even though they tell you how much shit they eat
>sometimes they ask whether if I'll do personal sessions at their home
>lie and say no unless they're attractive
>i have had sex with one girl in my 3 years of working here in the gym and it was a 6/10 3 foot hobbit
>that horrible feeling were i could literally fuck any fatty i wanted because they are so fucking desperate it's horrible

Implying I fuck fat chicks

>go to rugby game with mates
>start talking to group of hot girls
>7.5/10 qt3.14 brunette wants the D
>fucking fat bitch out of nowhere
>stupid fat cunt has dyed hair and short, ripped jean shorts
>dat cottage cheese
>ohgodwhy.xls
>I grab the girl to go to the bar and escape saturn's gravitational pull
>Captain Corpulence the Cockblocker is stalking us
>tell qt3.14 to wait with our group for me
>wink at fatty, she almost shits herself
>start walking towards toilets
>tell fatty to wait for me outside the toilets
>sneak out second door
>go back to bar
>hook up with qt3.14
>turns out fatty waited there for 15 minutes before waddling into the mens toilets in search of me
>mfw

Fat People in the Gym

>fat people at the gym story
>doing my dips
>middle aged fat man starts doing assisted pull ups on the machine next to me
>alternates sets with his fat teen age son
>fat son uses all the counter weights
>counts his sets out loud in a winded voice
>gets to about 8 and starts swearing
>quits after 1 set
>fat father calls him out
>fat son walks away
>try my hardest not to laugh and/or stare
>actually feel bad for the fat father for raising such a pathetic son
>hope he mans up at some point

I hope he mans up too.

Kelly and her cheesey potatos

Very short story
>With bros going to supermarket
>See the biggest hambulocetus I've ever seen in my town in my entire life
>She is eating, as predicted
>Notices us all looking in awe of her gargantuan flab
>She goes 'Oh I'm not even hungry!' really loudly
>I can't help but laugh
>Deathstare


Bonus Round: She eats nothing but cheesey potatos for the last 30 years. Ugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJGIMd3_LfY

How that guy married her is a mystery to me.

Poor car. No matter how shitty a car is it should never have to endure such misery.

>Driving back home from class
>Hit huge fucking traffic
>Finally reach the cause of the hold up 45 minutes later
>Just a couple cars behind the crash
>Merging right, going by
>Turns out it wasn't a crash at all
>It's some 90's chrysler minivan
>Front end's kissing the ground
>Wheels are cambered out with huge negative
>Finally get to seeing the driver
>Largest fucking man-thing I've seen EVER
>Belly's hitting the steering wheel and it looked like the seat was all the way back and leaning farther back than it probably should
>It's sitting there like nothing's wrong, eating what looks to be about three bags full of McDonalds
>I drive by slowly, saluting the car for it simply could not hold out any longer
>I turn my radio off and have a moment of silence

And they say fat people have no dedication

>be in freezer aisle of grocery store
>there is a fat guy standing in front of the frozen treats, pies or ice cream and stuff
>giving them a stare similar to a 14 year old presented with 4 naked women
>his feet literally do not shift in the entire time it takes me to walk through the aisle and pick out everything I needed.
At least he isn't fucking around with his fatness

Woman logic: It's a thing

I'm the guy from the Naturopath story a few days ago in which my co-worker claimed
"Protein contains Animal Fat"

She also believes that:

Black coffee is basically poison but her 'green coffee' is alright. Like your fatty she also guzzles rockstars and monsters.

That eating too many vegetables will overload your system and you overdoes on nutrients.

That most fruit doesn't contain sugar.

That she is lactose intolerant, buys the ridiculous milk and all that shit, yet smashes down cupcakes, yoghurt (with lactose - i checked) and cream buns like it's no tomorrow.

The fish&chips is healthy because it's basically fish and potato.

That eating 6-8 slices of soy & linseed as a substitute for her usual 2-3 slices of white toast is any better.

And like most women, believes that nibbling a salad once a month will cause rapid weight loss.

.....

Oh god the ignorance. I am not a smart man, but I at least have some idea of how the universe works. Why don't people ask why anymore? They will blindly follow people who claim they have all the answers with nothing concrete to back themselves on. It is mind boggling that people would rather think that magnets and crystals and herbs will cure their aliments, than read peer reviews or listen to scientist. They ignore SCIENCE, the aggregate of human understanding. It's imperfect, but it's what we know. Damn.

He's not fat, just bulking

>hamplanet of a guy who goes to my school friends me on fb
>never met him before but we have a lot of mutual friends
>new years comes, sees he's going to start a diet and gym program
goodforyousillynyr.jpg
>new classes come in about a month due to semester changing
>it's in two of my classes
>one of them is a morning class
>it shows up with a bacon egg and cheese sandwich, donut, sausage egg and cheese from dunkin donuts
>along with a homemade "dietary" omelet(know this because he was telling everyone in his fucking row)
iknewit.png
>exams come
>one teacher is nice enough to let us eat once were finished because school has stupid policy about staying in class until everyone's done
>it pulls out a five guys double bacon cheeseburger along with two orders of fries
ohgodwhy.gif
>go on fb later, see post from it saying about how it hates being on a diet

I swear, he has bigger tits than every girl at my school

Her brain has been replaced with mayonaise

>Be at my shithole work
>Fat chick who's in her 40's
>Only ever see her drinking energy drinks (Monster, Mother, V etc...)
>Drinks the shit like it's liquid gold.
>Ask her why?
>She says why not?
>I tell her that the amount of caffeine she would be consuming is probably 4-5 times the safe amount
>She tells me that she drinks it because she thinks the government has poisoned the tap water and she thinks it tastes different now.

Anyone else got an tin-foil hat fatties?

Fat chicks on Facebook

>Chubby chick on Facebook asks about buying a stationary exercise bike
>Tell her to buy a good pair of sneakers and run outside instead
>Threws a bitch fit about how she didn't ask about it and that I have no idea what sort of exercise she want to do
>Laugh and tell her it's her money
She posts all the time that she wants someone to eat a burger with.
Every fucking other day.
Fatties gonna fat.

Fat People Stories: Austraian Edition

>heard a fatass woman complain that she "needs a coke" in that whiny, bitchy, fucking nasally whinge that fat shits have

>heard it while i was in line for student benefits
>she was in front, complaining the whole time

and this is the part i don't expect people to believe, but i swear on my life is true.

>does the coke whine
>explains to her boyfriend "oh, Marcy's doctor says she needs more potassium, and there's lots of potassium in caffeine, which is in coke, so her doc said it was okay for her to drink it. and you know my doctor said i need more potassium, so..."
>she does this fucking shit-eating grin at the boyfriend
>"coke is good for me."
>i'm struggling to not groan out loud
>boyfriend looks at her weird
>"if you need potassium, why not just eat a banana?"
>she sneers and punches him on the arm

all of my fucking hatred. all of it. and now for the finisher:

>talking to centrelink worker, finally
>hear fat shit talking to her worker
>she's in claiming benefits because of a heart condition, making it impossible for her to work
>heart condition
>drinking caffeine
>heart condition
>potassium
>shit's fucking bananas, yo

Maybe they are on a keto diet.. not likely

>Be Black-me in Black school sitting isolated from my fellow blacks
>It's almost exam time/final project deadline, no time for Black antics these days
>I'm working my ass off on an assignment that's due in history (first class of the day) when I hear what can only be described as a screech
>The tone hits some sort of resonance frequency that causes my stomach to flip like I just ate raw chicken or something
>Does not help that can I smell the fattest, most disgusting girl in class from her new seat only two rows ahead of me
>I have to blink rapidly, stare at my notebook like its going to run away and breath audibly in controlled bursts to keep from letting loose my half digested oats all over my half finished notes
>Eventually, the moment passes and I look up, at first confused as to how a whale got so deep in land
>Wait, that's not a whale, that's the disgusting chick's sister
>Jesus, why is she so large? Fuck it! HOW is she so large?
>I look at her hand and eavesdrop enough to learn they were squealing like pigs to the slaughter because they just realized they can preorder pizza at the pizza hut near my school, and thus, won't have to wait for it to cook during lunch
>mfw they both order two small pizzas with nothing but meat, including bacon, pepperoni and ground beef
>mfw they say they're on a diet not even two minutes later