Thigh chaffing and obese people

This pic in a nutshell:
>fucking beluga whale whining about eating so much and getting so fat that her legs chafe.
>then she whines about having to cover up her massive rubbing legs
>Then she complains about having to buy something to alleviate the condition
>Then, she complains about other people "objectifying" her when they complain that her fat celluloid legs rubbing together is fucking disgusting.
Not once did she complain about not being able to put down her fork.

Fat people get hot in cold weather

>Sister comes to visit me in Asia
>I'm already pretty thin, but since I've moved here I've gone from 185 to 165 while working out 6 days a week
>She's about 200 pounds now. 5'6.
>"What do you want to eat?"
>Oh, just something sweet
>always eating candy and baked goods, haven't eaten anything with sugar in it for months
>always bitching about how she's too tired and out of shape, completely out of breath and sucking air after walking up steps
>she chills around my apartment in a tanktop. fat fucking arms, rolls, 2much cleavage
>Friends come over and are weirded out
>loud and obnoxious american
>making me embarrassed to be seen with in public
>it's freezing outside, go inside any store to warm up
>WE NEED TO GO IT IS _TOO HOT_ IN HERE I'M BURNING UP
>mfw I'm always freezing, I don't have blubber to keep me warm

Fat ugly = Fugly

>On bro Holiday
>Go to bar and random girl walks up and kisses me the second i walk in
>She is fat ugly and had a man voice but i was drunk
>Go back to mine
>Try to fuck her
>cant get it in
>jam it in hard she starts moaning like a horny bull
>bust a nut after about 5 mins then get over come with shame
>Plan to run off after we got back to bar but end up back at her hotel
>sit on toilet and play with her tits
>say i have to go
>walk home in dark and meet a bunch of puppies
>play with puppies feel shame melt away in a way no ice cream ever will with the she mantus
>Next night get black out drunk
>aggressivly chatting her up
>rep warns bro who tries to stop me
>tell him to fuck off im working
>she sneaks away
>feel terrible about it
>wonder off hit a punching bad and cut myself
>end up crying in hospital with bro
>board plane time to leave the shame behind
>shes sitting infront of me
>5 hours of why

Walmart Scooters: I hate the fact that my store doesn't charge to use the scooters.

>Working at WalMart, surprisingly slow day.
>Old man approaches my register, kindly asks if there are any electric scooters.
>Sigh because I know the lardbeasts or douche teenagers are probably using them.
>Old man starts having a bit of trouble standing even with a cane.
>Co-worker brings a chair for him to sit in, I go look for a electric scooter at both entrances of the store.
>While looking for a scooter a fat black slab of fat approaches me, also asks for a scooter.
>Tell her that I'm already looking for a scooter for an old man who has trouble standing on his own.
>Surprisingly understands and sits down on a bench.
>Continue to look for a scooter and finally find one.
>It's dead. Barely moves. So I plug it in an outlet to charge.
>Sit in the scooter or else someone will try to take it.
>Fat, grotesque man in scooter approaches me while at the same time asking if the scooter is being used.
>Explain to him the situation.
>He starts getting upset. Demands the scooter for his fat wife.
>He opens his gaping hole, "Do I have to have a certain health problem to be first priority?! I've been looking for another scooter for almost half an hour!"
>Refuse to give him the scooter one last time.
>soundofangrywhales.mp3
>Rides off and gives the old man a dirty look.
>After a few minutes I give the old man the scooter. Apologizing for taking so long.
>He thanks me for being so determined to get him a scooter.
>Supervisor tells me that the fatass complained but they don't give a shit because I made the right chioce.

Fat People At The Hospital

>at the hospital for check up after having appendix removed
>my mistake when I decide to take the elevator
>On the first floor, step into the the elevator and push the third floor tab
>Elevator goes up one floor, stops.
>the metal doors rumble open to reveal and 300 pound beast with a broken leg. Appears to be female, but I could not confirm.
>It's riding on one of those broken leg devices that looks like a razor scooter.
>scooter is clearly buckling under the immense weight, creaking with every inch she moves.
> beast scoots into the elevator, ignoring me. It must have eaten already.
> metal doors close, the elevator, straining under its new weight gain pushes on to the third floor.
>decide, foolishly, to be a gentlemen
> let the beast exit first.
>as it moves forward on its rickity scooter, the front wheel gets caught in the crevasse where the doors close.
> momentum was too much to stop in time
>it begins to fall over
> nothing I could do
>The beast falls to the ground, starts howling as loud as it can, A clear distress call.
>I'm trapped inside the elevator, trying everything I can to pick it up. mfw It's too heavy
>Valhalla here i come!
>everyone is staring
> try to calm the beast, but to no avail. its wails echo through the hospital corridors
>am trapped. There is no way out.
>elevator is starting to panic as well, the doors try to close on her several times, but open once the feel the obstruction.
> no one is doing anything to help me. Ive been left me behind.
>with no other option, I push the security button in the Elevator.
>Beast screams are getting louder by the minute.
>takes ten minutes for a couple of the scrawniest men to appear, but at this point, i am desperate, any help is wanted.
>proceed to roll the behemoth out of the elevator
>Terra nova!
>Help the beast back up on its scooter
>Seat breaks
>fuck this shit
>leave the scene

Balooga whales in their natural environment

>work at a nightclub
>wild balooga shuffles over to the bar
>asks for a redbull vodka and a pizza
>explain to her that we don't serve food
>she starts to kick up a massive fuss
>tell her that this is a nightclub and we don't serve food, only drinks
>she wants to speak to my manager
>radio him down
>she complains to him that it's not right to serve only drinks when food helps to absorb alcohol or some shit
>he just says there is nothing he can do and we have no food
>one of the girls I work with offers her some sliced lemons
>the white whale goes berserk
>my manager tries to calm her down
>she is fucking hysteria fatplanet mode at this stage
>my manager makes one of our bartenders go down into the staff room and get some chips out of our vending machine for her

Worst day of my life. I never realized how bad it was to be fat until that day.

>Live in Hawaii
>Fat ass fatass
>I get picked on a lot because A) I'm Fat B) I'm White
>Still I try to be nice, have fun
>One day my friend she ask me to go to the beach with her
You just want me to flash my tits to get the boys over huh?
>Oh anon hahaha
>So we go to the beach and meet up with some of her friends
>They all go boogie boarding and body surfing while I watch, and bake. (Sunburn not chronic)
>Ah, fuck it, I'm fucking bored. So I start digging a hole so i can bury myself
>Im a fat fuck, so first of all it's fucking hard work digging when you're fat. Secondly, you need a huge ass hole. Which, oddly enough, most of my friends friends are.
>I'm tired, my hole is big, i lay down in it. Just about to slowly pull the sand over myself. (Best I can)
>Here comes the local kine braddahs
>"Hey, look at dis Haole Boy, he fall down eh! make a crater."
What, no. I dug a hole.
>"Ya i know brah, that's what I said."
Fuck you
>He is pissed
>Oh fuck, I'm fucked.
>I'm stuck, the hole was just deep enough to make any mobility I had vanish
>Him and his buddies start burying me. They leave my face, tits and belly exposed. Laughing at me trying to turtle roll on my front side.
>Each of them slaps my belly and man cans. Some fat jokes. And depart.
>I start crying, i don't know what else to do
>My friend finally gets out of the water, thought I knew those guys.
>I just want to leave, so we do


A month later I ended up moving to Washington. Got a gym membership, started eating right.

Volunteering with fat people

>doing volunteer work
>get paired up to load donated clothes into a trailer
>qtWhale paired with me
>I'm flexin. She's mirin.
>We're loading up large bags of clothes
>she says, "I'm working off the six cookies I ate earlier today"
>oh that's not so much..
>in my head
>fatties gonna fat
>mfw I actually thought this

also
>she ate "health bars"
>only 200 calories!
>she would eat 10 a day
>plus breakfast from sonic
>would have a route 44 coca cola
>lunch of fast food
>dinner...god knows what
>no exercise

This is not a story about fat people

>me and sister are on a road trip
>sitting in our excursion alongside the road in front of LA fitness
>notice the water cup in the holder is vibrating a little bit
>boom.... boom....
>look in rear view mirror, see rippletoe rex in full GOMAD
>must weigh 35000 pounds
>them quads
>suddenly he headbutts the side of the truck
>BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULK!
>lets out a huge scream
>BUUUUUUULK!
>smashes the glass roof
>sister and i are screaming
>out of the corner of my eye spot a silly safari hat
>ITS HIM
>the scoobz rolls up on a skateboard
>pulls us out of the car
>lifts hat, pulls out 2 skateboards
>rippletoe rex can't see us if we squat
>all get on our backs
>skateboard squat down the street
>watch as rex squatz our excursion while we drift blissfully into a natty sleep

I used to work at a Fred Meyer in Washington... the following is the gods honest truth unfortunately.

>be me, 16 year old cart pusher
>regular fatty comes in
>electric cart
>he actually lives in a bus on the property but loss prevention is too busy smoking weed in their office to give a fuck
>hes actually the fattest human i've ever seen
>his lard spills over the armrest of the electric cart
>it whines in protest as it slowly moves through the store
>he regularly steals from the store
>little things, like nuts out of the bins
>smell so bad grocery manager makes us throw out the entire bin that hes stuck his hand into
>everyone too passive aggressive to make him stop
>i'm tasked to follow him and throw away shit he touches
>see him go into the bathroom, no big deal
>20 minutes later he leaves
>i look inside
>mother of god.jpg
>he has showered in the sink. his hair is coming out so its fucking everywhere, all over the sink
>he shat on the toilet
>on the toilet
>feces is everywhere
>its on the mirror, the walls, the ceiling
>he took the toilet paper and shit on them then threw them into the toilet thus flooding the room
>he even smeared his shit on the door handle
>mfw i cant even leave because the door closed behind me and theres shit on the handle
>i vomit into the sink because the smell was overwhelming
>the vomit mixed with shit and his hair makes me vomit more
>i call for assistance on my cell phone
>manager comes in and gasps
>i run outside
>hear his electric cart groan toward his bus
>i hate fat people

Some don't perceive the true nature of the foods they are eating but most are the faces of addiction. It's not hard drugs, but sodium and sugars. While people 450+ pounds are surely less intelligent than others to not recognize and break this behavior, there are stupid skinny people too.

>english class
>be 14
>full of angst
>learning about poetry
>write and read poem about a poptart
>fail
>ask her after class why i failed
>"anon it was inappropiate"
>a poem about food? people paint apples and shit for christ sake
>bring principal into it
>i get an A after throwing a bitch fit
>she gives me a grade lower on everything for no reason after that
>i start sending her chocolates from a "secret admirer"
>send them every week
>mind i bought the old unused chocolates from the local store
>she has the squirts every week
>she gains 60lbs easy
>she had a stroke walking up the stairs years later

There are people who don't care about what they look like. At all. There are people who are not educated to the contents of the foods they eat everyday. Or perhaps they are willfully ignorant of what they eat. But why would such people do this to themselves, jeopardize their health or ignore the facts presented to them?

>worked at concession stand at AA baseball stadium
>Pouring beers, getting shit food
>brown dwarf gets in line
>middle aged negress, perhaps 5'2, def over 300. A rare fatty indeed. She is wearing a revealing spaghetti blouse, showing her size 3M breasts.
>Naturally she gets a huge shitty meal of nachos beer several dogs chowder, etc etc
>22.50 ma'am
>reaches down front of her shirt into bra the size of texas, retrieves a soaking wet 50, like you had dropped the bill in a puddle.
>I take it, and place it under the draw so it wont get the other bills left
>15 minutes later manager comes around to collect big bills (they think teenagers are thieves)
>Anon, please keep the drinks from the counters, some of these bills are soaking wet.
>sarry boss

Summer kids camp: The first day

>first day of kids summer camp
>two hamplanets show up with miniature hamplanet
>"Just so you know, MiniPlanet has bad knees"
>lol ok
>each day is the same, 30 minutes into post-lunch game MiniPlanet comes and sits out with me
>"are your knees bothering you, MiniPlanet?"
>"no I'm just tired"
>parents probably bullshitted the bad knees excuse so MiniPlanet could sit out when she wants
>always asks everyone what they have for snack and lunch
>regularly eats two snack packs of chips ahoy and a pudding cup for midmorning snack
>brings cake for lunch, one day even two slices of different kinds, that is in addition to cracker packs, caramel apple snack packs, yan yan sticks, energy drinks, ravioli, and syrupy fruit cups
>that's just one day
>always asked if she's hungry when she gets picked up
>tfw legal child abuse

RIP One of the greatest posts on the interfatweb

http://lessismorph.blogspot.ca/2013/07/tired-of-hate.html?m=1


RIP.

Some of the comments prior to its deletion:


Anonymous June 9, 2009 8:58 PM 

hello I am over 600lbs and know all to well what your talking about. I only crap at home and have to take a shower to rinse off. I use a auto car wheel brush with liquid body soap and a hand shower sprayer with turbo spray and this combo works great for me. takes time but I can't just let it ride. ewwwwwwww 

Anonymous June 13, 2009 9:19 PM 
I have a friend in this situation and I have a very hard time talking to her about it. However the odor issue from her not whiping her "fore" appropriately has really caused her living conditions to be sad, and she also has a roommate living with her that is having to living in the odor as well. I'm wondering if there's anything I can recommend to help with the odor issues while she works to getting herself into better shape where she can more easily handle the cleaning and hygiene issues herself. And info would be much appreciated. 

Morph June 14, 2009 4:46 PM 
I'd suggest the website amplestuff.com. They have a nice selection of hygiene products for us big people. 

Anonymous June 17, 2009 6:56 AM 
It's kind of like being a T-Rex - it's awful! 

Morph June 22, 2009 7:44 AM 
That made both my husband and I laugh SO hard. Now my new thing is to make a T-Rex noise when I need his help. LOL! 

Anonymous August 21, 2009 3:16 PM 
GO ONLINE AND SEARCH FOR AN ITEM CALLED BOTTOM BUDDY."

Foot-wide burger is only the beginning

>working counter at self-service gas station, really boring
>see car pull up, I have a habit of watching them fill their gas to make sure they don't do anything stupid (MURICA)
>350lb Fat bitch squeezes outta Honda Accord driver seat
>has some kinda Foot-wide burger (not even kidding, a MASSIVE burger) in one hand, and a Large-Gulp Slushie in the other hand
>drive with your elbows much?
>since she is distracted by the food in her hand, she does something obviously fucking retarded
>instead of the gas pumps, she picks up the water hose we have for people who wanna wash their cars and jams it into her fuel intake
>its an old gas station so the pumps will give out fuel is you squeeze handle (for filling hand-carry cartons and stuff), not auto-locking kind
>she notices a bit of bird poo on her window...
>still has both hands full with food and 95% of attention to the 55% of remaining Jumbo-burger
>NO, OH GOD PLEASE NO, I DONT WANNA DIE LIKE THIS
> she takes the fuel pump, and splashes her windshield with gasoline, not even looking at it, instead plowing her face into burger
>comes inside, still chewing, pays the $3.45 for the GAS she used
>unplugs water hose, drives away...
>run outta the store and chase after her to watch
>not even half a block, her engine starts coughing loudly and dies out
>she wheezes and squeezes outta the car
>notice not holding the Gulp-Slushie anymore
>what has replaced it?
>oh no, please dear god yes yes ITS A FUCKING CIGARRETTE
>Marlboro in one hand, 35% of MassiveBurger in other, she waddles over to front, pops hood, obviously has no idea whats going on
>waddles to trunk to get something
>cigarrette ash drops on back windshield
>UP IN FLAMES
>Fatty fell on ground, burger strewn about the pavement
>Engine coughing, back windshield on fire
> I have 911 on my cellphone open, but I haven't said a word yet because I'm laughing too hard

This is how you do it

>leaving work Friday night and notice oil life is at 20%
>stop at Meijer to get some oil and a filter
>expensive so I decide to go to autozone instead
>woman version of shrek stops me, assumes I work there because red t-shirt
"excuse me sir, I was looking for a blanket that's a good size for me. Something I can just warm up in after getting out of the shower"
>trying to sound flirty or something
"Go to isle 23 in the back, in the middle of the isle on the left side you will see large yellow containers on the bottom, red containers on top of those. And to the left of them should be something in your size"

>mfw the containers are oil jugs
>mfw to the left of them is the car covers

She's... coming...

>be senior in high school
>latin teacher is hamplanet the likes of which i have never seen
>get detention for falling asleep and have to stay after school
>"my grandaughter is coming to hang out and she is so amazing and smart and blah blah blah"
>feel a tremor as the building begins to rhythmically shudder
>look out of the classroom and see what can only be described as hamplanet prime squeezing her mythical bulk through the door
>I mean, literally squeezing through as she is too wide to fit through the narrow-ish doors of my high school
>She sees me and my overdeveloped upper body (i had been a gymnast for my whole lift) and gets a look of hunger in her eyes the likes of which has only been known by the hordes of jelly doughnuts that have fallen prey to this hamplanet prime
>She waddles over to me and the smell of decade old sweat is overpowering
>"Hi *wheeze* i'm sarah, Mrs. Caldwell's granddaughter. *wheeze wheeze* You're anon right?"
>how the fuck does she know who i am?
>"uh... y-yeah... how do you know me?"
>she tries to sit down in a desk, but doesn't fit so she sits on top of it
>the desk groans dangerously but holds... barley
>"i've seen you around. You know, i think gymnastics is really cool and gymnasts are super cute"
>red_alert_defcon4.jpg
>"yeah gymnastics is cool..."
>she giggles and tries to keep up small talk while i furiously clean transparencies in a mad ditch effort to escape her gravitational pull
>"sarah, do you wan't me to order you some food?"
>mfw latin teacher orders her granddaughter 2 large pizzas from the dominoes down the street
>finish cleaning transparencies, sign out of detention and make a break for it
>realize i forgot my backpack and decide to take the chance and go back for it
>"wow grandma, anon is really cute and nice. i think he likes me"
>mission abort!
>leave backpack for dead
>mfw latin teacher gave me a 40 point curve on every test from then on out and always made me stay late when sarah was coming

Good god man, learn how to write a story

>My older brother had a girl in her class in 6th grade.
>She was a cubby girl, significantly rounder than everyone else
>Not gross cankly fat rolls loose skin, but definitely round
>Anyways, he told me a story once.
>His class had a field trip to some educational shit
>They stop at McDonalds for lunch
>Parents prepaid for their kids' meal (burger or mcnuggets + fries + kid soda)
>During their lunch, miss piggy finished her food quickly
>she then proceeded to walk around the mcdonalds asking other patrons (i.e. complete strangers) if they were done with their food
>feelsbadman.png remembering this tale because i knew their family; they weren't "rich" and barely above comfort level
>still no excuse for werd behavior


Bonus round to make up for that train wreck:

>Working as Dental Assistant
>Very large man comes in the room
>Boss (Dentist) tells me he's scared that his dental chair is going to break
>We do the guy's treatment
>He leaves
>Room stinks really bad
>Boss grabs the spray and sprays the room while I disinfect/wipe the chair more times than normal
>Smell is still there
>Ugh fat people