out for walk with two friends to bus stop

> femanon wants to go to Baskin Robbins
> I'm on a cut
> exasperated_sigh.gif
> we go to Baskin Robbins
> mom has spare tire spilling out of the bottom of her shirt
> boy walks away from counter with ice cream the size of his head
> me and my bro watch solar system family as femanon friend orders milkshake
> eventually, bro says what the boy has actually looks pretty good.
> I turn and ask 'what? His early onset diabetes? '

Cheat days are best days

>be me at a McDonald's on that cheat day getting me a deserved portebella mushroom burger
>hear Cybertron talking to Jupiter about weight loss
"I want to loose weight so that's the reason I am eating salad!"
>look over at them
>Cybertron has a twelve piece chicken nugget cut up in her salad with a pound of ranch and the tomato are on a napkin because I don't think she liked them
"but for some reason I never loose anything! I walk up and down the step at work and home and only watch TV for 3 Hr a day!
>stare for 5 second, about to loose my lunch I turn
>hear Jupiter say something like that guy over there was staring at you and looked disgusted
>Cybertron begins loud so I can hear
>"lol he wouldn't understand he is a Man in an athletic body when hasn't he had to work for anything"
>almost choke on my bite of burger
>look at Cybertron
"the reason you can't loose weight is because Ur a lazy fuck and eating a salad with 12 chicken nuggets in it isn't considered dieting it's called complete retardation"
>Cybertron is in Self Destruct mode and about to pop off when the 5 Yr old kid behind me who got his attention pulled to our conversation said
"why is that lady so fat!"
>to which Cybertron and Jupiter left immediately leaving behind their "healthy" salad and coke

walking home from the gym

> lard galaxy collides with our galaxy and accosts me from across the street
> we're all so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of all things
> you are nothing in the face of such unfathomable endless lard
> "YEAH KEEP WALKING FASTER ASSHOLE DON'T WORRY I WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP UP! I'VE JUST GOT REAL MUSCLE AND NOT WEIRD RABBIT LEGS!"
> this bitch is on fucking drugs
> "Ma'am, I'm really and truly sorry, oh god. Please, go in front of me. It is not my intention to walk faster than you."
> Please go away
> She starts swinging her enormous spiral arms and screaming at the top of her logs
> Falls over and spills her ice cream all over her tits
> "HELP HATE CRIME I'M THE VICTIM OF A HATE CRIME SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME"
> I can see at this point that she's not wearing any panties and her legs are completely covered in shit
> a dog walks by and starts eating the shit out of her ass and pussy
> another dog is licking the ice cream off her tits
> she's moaning and screaming "hate crime" in the middle of the sidewalk with dogs licking her puss
> this crazy old man, probably in his 80s, walks by and starts saying "good boy" and cheering the dogs on
> hey that's pretty funny, I think I've got a couple of crackers in my pocket
> start doing that whistling noise and looking for more dogs, hoping i can offer a cracker to a dog that walks by
> instead this homeless dude approaches me and wants a cracker
> says he'll eat the bitch's shit too if that's what it takes to get a cracker
> fine whatever
> at this point she's just trying to shoo away the dog eating the ice cream off her tiddies saying "no, bad dog, that's my ice cream"
> she starts grabbing the dog's mouths, trying to make them give the ice cream back or something
> some guy walking by with his kids is all like "holy fucking shit what the fuck is going on here" and starts calling for help
> we tell him that thing is an obese woman
> he starts throwing up all over kids

I can finally contribute.

>At playground with foster brothers
>Chasing them around, playing tag and all that
>Chubby kid is on swings, being pushed by a huuuge woman
>Not good with guessing weight but she was almost spherical and was at least 6 feet tall
>Little chubby kid gets off swing and trots off to the jungle gym area
>Fatty mom is huffing and puffing from pushing child
>Proceeds to try and catch her breath by sitting down on a swing
>Should've seen it coming
>I should have expected this
>She sits down
>Swing chains tear out from the wooden swing set
>She slams onto the ground, woodchips everywhere and lets out a strange BWAAH
>Have to bite back laughter while attempting to help her up
>She angrily stomps off to a bench
>Theres a god damned imprint of her in the ground
>Looks like a fucking police outline it's such a perfect trace

Hola Amigos

> be mexican
> 1.88 mts, was slightly above 100 kgs
> did cut, now Im reaching sub-90's
> people starting to notice
> anon are you on a diet?
> well yeah, I'm counting my calories and eating on a deficit, that plus daily exercise
> oh anon but you didnt look fat before, you looked ok
> ehh no, using loose clothes and the height might camouflage my fatness but it was still there
> well I think you were not fat but ok
> mfw most of the people I encounter think this way
> mfw when everyone in my country is ok with fat acceptance
> mfw I dont wanna be a huge lardass... and everytime I go out (like today) like 6 out of 10 people has a big belly

mfw still angry about it and it was last week

>Be in gym
>Go to steam room post hot tub
>Landwhale genuinely taking up about 6 feet of space on one of the benches
>only wearing a very loose towel (I left mine outside as I was still wearing trunks from hot tub)
>I get stressed thinking about how much of his fat sweat is being held in the air
>How much of it am I inhaling?
>How many calories am I getting through my lungs?
>relief when he gets up and leaves
>nope, just going to shower, comes back
>I leave after a few minutes, grab my towel and it is soaking wet
>piece of shit fatty took my towel and left me his disgusting lard one

my first time contributing to one of these

>cycle to college store to get healthy foods
>get in line
>hamplanet of a college student in front of me in the queue
> bout 22, 5"6, holding only junk food
> shes obviously self conscious.. can see her nervously bouncing from foot to foot as she eyes up the Crisps rack below the counter
>picks a packet (hunky dory buffalo 8/10 )
> gets back in queue avoiding eye contact and noticing my healthy foods
>not even bad facial symmetry though
>starts doing her nervous bounce again before picking another packet of crisps and adding to the pile
>pays for her empty calories and scuttles out
>feel genuinely bad for her

walking down Sheffield town centre with my nan

>she's old and can walk fine but I'm still making sure she doesn't trip
>300lb bitch appears on a mobility scooter, heading towards us
>we are on the left hand side, taking up 1/3 of the footpath
>bitch decides to continue scooting in the middle of the footpath, guaranteed collision
>her face has that "I ain't moving, you move, I AM A BEAUTIFUL STRONG BLACK WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN" look
>nah I'm good thanks
>she brushes against me and topples over onto her side
>screams "OW! You knocked me you should have moved you jerk you freak etc"
>reply "lose weight" and walk off

going to hang out with bro the other day

>decide to bring donuts because cheat meal
>get in line and theres 3 hambeasts ordering
>they get 2 boxes full of fucking cookies
>they just keep ordering more
>1 asks for 2 cookies that she can eat in the car as if she didnt have enough already
>asks the male hamplanet if he wants anything
>says "no i already ate a bag of potato chips, im carbed up"
>its only 10 am
>then they ask if they have premade cakes
>jesus christ what the fuck
>order my 4 donuts and go to pay
>they ask to have something written on it and have to move to where i am
>almost mowed down by stomachs but don't move out of their way
>male fatass smugly says "pardon us" and turns away
>mfw

in one of my classes, the majority of people there are overweight

>at least 10 (out of 25-30) are obese
>one girl is so huge that she can't fit in the desks
>has to sit at a table in the front of the room instead
>turns sideways to go through the door
>the other hamplanets can fit in the chairs, but can't use the flip down part of the desk due to their lard
>one day we're talking about problems of under and overnutrition
>subject moves to obesity in the US
>here we go
>prof starts bringing up your typical tumblr shit
>"obesity has been linked to certain genes and a different microflora of bacteria in the GI tract"
>dismisses food and lifestyle
>take a midway break from class
>go out into the hall
>the three obese females who bothered to come that day waddle out
>they all head for the snack machine, slip their wallets out of their folds
>buy a few snacks each and sodas
>fatties gonna fat

Short Stories

>Leave Home Depot
> see little middle aged woman struggling with a section of fence
> she lifting one end and dragging the other
> tell her I'll do it I lift it and follow her to her car
> help her get it on top of her minivan and help her secure it
> just as it is done a fat 20 something loser drinking a bucket of soda opens the passenger side door and gets in
> he watched his mom struggle in public without even lifting one side of the fence




>Wake up.
>Go downstairs.
>See disgusting fat whale in my living room.
>It's me.
>I was looking at a mirror.



http://fiercefatties.com/diet-talk/

Forbidden diet talk includes:

>Discussing total weight lost
>Favorite diet plans
>Diet plans that have worked for you
>Personal caloric intake details
>Personal caloric expenditure details
>Suggesting weight loss to anyone for any reason
>Suggesting weight loss surgery to anyone for any reason
>Suggesting weight loss for another person as a means of improving health

pop disks in back

> crippling sciatic pain
> on crutches
> alone so have to go out and buy food
> hobbling on crutches down aisle in intense pain
> almost everyone helps me or gives way
> fat woman takes up entire aisle
> gives me the look telling me she isn't going to move because that would waste precious calories
> have to walk sideways to get by her
> she leans into me when I am even with her causing massive pain
> old woman coming in other direction sees me gritting my teeth in pain
> she takes her cart to one side to get by fatty
> fatty shifts like a quarter inch
> old lady hesitates then slams cart into fatty's knee
> hear fatty scream
> old lady gets by fatty and turns and gives me a nod
> true story- fat people all resented that someone might expect them to yield the way, they all think they should be treated like they are handicapped

I have this really fat classmate who is Vegetarian

>Claims she is the most healthiest person in our class
>Does not work out and mostly eats potato chips and muffins at school
>BTW she is REALLY really fat, 'arms are bigger than her head'-fat
>My friend and I are sharing a chicken sandwich (he forgot his lunch) in the auditorium and drinking tea we bought
>My friend is quite healthy, has a good body, works out but isn't a health nut, a 9/10 male species
> Anyway he adds a bit of sugar and some honey-mustard sauce to his sandwich (brought a small pinky sized package from the cafeteria)
>Fat girl sees all of it, how he adds sugar and honey-mustard sauce
>Gives him a weird over the top look than back to the sandwich and tea and back to him
>Says "Ok, not going to say about the meat this time but srsly, you're going to kill yourself with that much sugar and sauce one day"
>My friend sighs really loud and says 'yeah ok thanks'
>She gets frustrated and says "can't take criticism much?'
>He says annoyed "What if I would comment on what you eat like those chocolate muffins and say you're unhealthy and fat but delusional about it, goddamnit?"
>She gets angry and looks hurt and says something I can't really hear and turns around
> "Fat bitch eat this" my friend says and throws the empty sugar and sauce package at her
>She doesn't say anything nor turns back to her
>I just sit there uncomfortable but proud too lol

The Twinkie Zone

>at Walmart
>scooterfats errywhere
>no more scooters for actual disabled people
>suddenly a wild snorlax appears
>already sweating mayonnaise after walk from car
>no more scooters
>hambeast has shitfit because she has to walk more
>mayonnaise flies all over the greeters as ambulocetus flails around and cries about bad knees
>a kindly old veteran appears.
>He has only one leg, but manages to walk ok with a cane.
>slips on mayonnaise and falls
>greeters proceed to ignore hambeast and get a scooter for the veteran
>hambeast starts screaming about unfairness
>tries to hit the greeters
>takes a swing, slips on own mayonnaise and falls to the floor
>police arrive and arrest the flailing greasepile
>mfw they search her and find an open jar of mayo and four kilos of chicken wings

#thinprivelidge

#thinprivelidge

I live in Finland, and my mother visited Colorado. She said that she couldn't finish a single meal in the week she was there, since they were so huge.

Also
>she asked the way to some event she wanted to go to, that was near the hotel and she thought was close enough to walk to, 2km or so
>hotel clerks jaw drops and he tells that other customers(mostly americans) took golf cabs and drove that distance
all of the keks


Hate working with fat people:
>work at a small indie cinema complex in Britbongistan
>co-worker is an American-fat tier lardass
>constantly bringing in the unhealthiest foods and complaining how she doesn't lose weight
>sneers at my chicken and brown rice as 'no flavour'
>everyone hates her
>she's 40 w/ 2 chavy kids and everyone who isn't a manager is >25
>"pulled" her stomach last week deck scrubbing the floors and couldn't do any cleaning for two weeks
>had to do all her cleaning and mine
>best friends with two of the female managers so she'll never be fired

Not really a fat person story, more of just an America in general story.

>Recently go to Amurika on holiday
>First food place I go to I order something, ask for no fries.
>The waiter was clearly confused, and said sorry?
>I repeat no fries thanks.
>The waiter says the fries come with the meal.
>I still insist that I don't want fries.
>He tells me he could bring another side with the meal, I tell him no thanks.
>eventually he just leaves and brings back my meal
>"I included fries with it anyway"
>And I did not eat those fires.

>Second restaurant I went to, the same thing was happening. So I just eventually accepted the fries that came with it.
>Meet up with some friends of family.
>This 12 year old kid thinks cheerios are healthy because its cereal (as opposed to french toast and shit thats similar)
>Same kid thought that fries that arent in the long shape you get from Mc'donalds, the potato wedge type fries is healthy as well.

>Went to a shopping place there you can buy 2 kilograms of chicken breast for $10, where as where Im from 1 kilogram on special is about $12. Yet there are still fat people everywhere?
>Go eating with friends of family, all of them eat till feeling sick. One eats to the point where he has a headache and other problems.

Sorry again not really a fat people story, but I guess its a bit of knowledge as to why theres so many fatties in murika. Seeing how they dont understand the concept of turning down free food, or not to eat until theyre sick. Also by the end of my 2 week stay I was so sick of the food there, everything was fucking greasy. Was missing normal food quite badly. And im sorry amurika, but thats just how my experience went.

Why are American soldiers so fat?

>be in Australian Army
>be in Asia
>a group of five of us go to some spa thing
>some American Soldiers are also there
>in the hot communal baths
>they are making fun of Asians, we are talking malnourished sub 5'5" twig people, for having small penises
>one guy in our group says "well at least they can see their penises"
>we all laughed at the Americans
>asian guy asks us what we said
>tell him the joke
>he yells it out in "asian"
>whole place laughs at the Americans
>they get mad and start yelling about how they have 9" dicks (sure, if they quadrupled in size, these were not well endowed people even in the warm bath)
>the guy says "sure, 9" wang, too bad you have 20" of stomach to get to girl ahahaha!"
The American military had to pay for the dental work the guy needed as well as a settlement, American GIs are banned from the spa

Be a marine in Colombia

>be a marine in Colombia
>fighting niggers,you know,casual shit
>suddenly fat woman from pic related appears
>wants to kill us all at our camp
>I'm not a pussy and instead of running away I start shooting her with my AK
>fuck fuck fuck,she won't die
>marinebro gives me a special weapon,almost unlimited clip,takes 1000 bullets at once,really high fire rate
>still hambeast doesn't die
>other bros throw grenades at her,she keeps doing the "fat walk" (you know,the kind of walk fat people who can't walk straight do)
>she's_going_to_eat_us_all.jpg
>funnybro throws a hamburger at her as a last joke
>mfw she stops
>mfw she eats it
>mfw she becomes a black hole after eating it

And that was my dream the other night.

3 years ago

>3 years ago
>sitting at front desk of high schools music department
>obese bitch comes down with passes for students
>"can you tell me where 1M7E is?"
>reply "oh I can take it. This place can be confusing to run around in"
>"haha I wouldn't like that. Thanks!"
>"I can see that"
>deathstare.fat
>realize how that sounded
>"...getting lost isn't fun"
>fatty leaves while taking angry gulps from her 44oz drink
>athletic as fuck marching band drill director bursting into treats behind me

>mfw

Row Row Fight Tha Powa

My dad used to be a fireman and he told me this story once

>Dad's team (I don't know what you call a group of firefighters. A watch? A unit?) gets called out
>A coroner has requested help removing a dead body
>They arrive
>Coroner meets them and leads them to the bedroom
>The fattest woman my dad has ever seen is... pooled on the bed
>This is some next-level obesity
>Coroner tells my dad & firemen that he simply can't move the woman (hereafter referred to as Mrs X) from the bed
>After some consideration, firefighters decide on the logistics of lifting her
>They are going to gather up the bedsheets and carry her in them like a bowling ball in a supermarket bag, then heave her out of the window (she lived on the ground floor)
>It begins
>Four or five men are lifting this gigantic mass, struggling towards the window
>"Guys, she won't get through the window"
>They have to destroy the window and remove the frame to get her out
>They've got her on the floor next to the window, now just to lift her
>It requires the help of everyone there
>The woman's body catches the windowsill and rips it out of the wall in the effort
>Finally get her out of the window and loaded into the coroner's ambulance

>The fire brigade later receive a letter
>"Dear members of X watch,
>Thank you for your assistance in moving the late Mrs X from her home a few days ago,

>After some modifications, it was possible to cremate her."

Can attest to this. I used to work in my granddads funeral home. Wont say where.
We used to do our best to do whole body cremations, but on more than one occasion it was necessary to "modify" a body into thirds or quarters for cremation.
Beats the fuck out of having the fat bastard burn down your business. Because if their fat liquifies, as it does, before it combusts, you get a torrent of flaming grease out of the front of your incinerator.
Literally gallons of flaming grease.
So you choose. Either you tell the family that Jim-bob is too fat to roast, something that gets you a non-compliance complaint with the ADA, you burn down your business trying to cremate the fat fucker, or you take off the limbs and half of the belly with a pig-cleaver.
On the bright side, if you really hated the guy in life its surprisingly cathartic.

Once again, I know that feel

>be fat
>turn fit
>skinny bro wants to be fit
>start getting him going to the gym
>his mom is 500lbs and lacks support for both her son and her legs
>bitches at him because he doesn't eat what's at the family dinner table
>start bringing him to my house for meals
>his mom finds out my cell # and texts me starting shit
>tells him he can't use their car to go to the gym and can't use the tv/vidya/other amenities at their house if he's gonna be out of the house all the time
>he caves, starts doing half-assed home workouts and eating shit again
>makes no progress
>later moves in with fat gf and turns into a fatty
>doesn't like my gf so stops hanging out with me
>i never got to fuck him
fat people

Facts: You learn some every day

>taking jabs at men's intelligence and sexual prowess
>being her

Background, I work as a medical assistant before I start med school next summer. One of my responsibilities is phlebotomy, drawing blood, for diagnostic tests

>get called for blood draw
>patient is a massive mexican moon
>she has 22 inch arms. I'm mirin hard and wonder what her routine is
>I make small talk while I tie the tourniquet on her arm to make it easier to find a vein
>the elastic tourniquet is about to snap from being stretched by her huge arms
>I try to palpate for a vein and can't feel a thing
>she notices and says, "oh you must not be very good at this"
>as if its my fucking fault that I can't find a vein and not her fault for being a fat piece of shit with diabeetus, hypertension, and hypercholesterolemia
>I grind my teeth
>[raging internally]
>feel what I think is a vein
>tell her, "no I'm good at this"
>stab her with the needle
>draw out blood perfectly
>bitch doesn't even apologize

After the blood coagulated and I spun them in the centrifuge her serum, the liquid portion of the blood, looked like melted butter. Normally it is a clear pale yellow color but not for this fat bitch

fucking whales