This guy is Top Gun

>work at chipotle
>new girl comes in
>fatasfatass
>tats
>insecure
>skrillex haircut
>shitty at her job
>thinks EVERYONEs out to get her
>clings to me because im nice to her
>she mistakes this for flirtation
>fast forward 3.5 months
>christmas party
>at a Dave & busters
>im drunk as fuck
>playing that basket ball game against a black co worker
>shouting NOVAK REBORN every time i beat him
>people laughing
>she's mirin
>Party's over
>i go to drive home
>oh no i cant let such precious cargo drive in this state
>offers me a ride home
>i accept
>she drives me to her house
>brings me to her back yard
>Sneaks me into her garage
>she blows me until hard
>i tell her to go doggy style
>cant find her puss
>too many folds
>too drunk to care
>shove it into a fold
>it's not her vag
>dont care
>i hear a sigh of disappointment
>i cream pie her fold
>pass out
>wake up with her staring at me
>oh fuck
>apologize and ask to get a ride back to my car
>she accepts
>tells EVERYONE
>my GM was chill as fuck and put me on separate shifts than her
>she gets fired 4 weeks later
>never saw her again