I hope you marry that girl and raise many wonderful athletic children with her.

>Be in Uni
>Be in New York City because family lives near there
>Be walking down a street to get to a major avenue, minding my business, listening to EDM
>See a massive landwhale fold tail jut out of a door with a flight of stairs leading up to it
>Think nothing of it because of epic EDM drop
>As I am walking past it the folds are all pushed out of the door at once
>Because sleepy as fuark have slow reaction time
>Buzz Wideyear proceeds to catch me in a tidal wave of lard
>I am now stuck under a mountain of rolls and am struggling to breathe under what is quite possibly the worst smelling human being in the world
>My life can't end like this
>In a fit of insane adrenaline I push a way out for myself through the jelly rolls
>Emerge halfway from under the mountain covered in sweat and a smell that can be described as shit smeared in years-old lard and then deep fried in shit again
>I look behind myself and what can barely be classified as a female whale is wobbling there
>It looks at me, and lets out a "tee hee" that can only be described as a demonic gorilla hoot
>It says to me then "I didn't notice you under my curves there big boy"
>I then proceed to vomit all over the sidewalk
>Onlookers have gathered at this point
>I am absolutely beyond public appearances at this point and the hamplanet is making no effort of letting go of me, seemingly enjoying keeping my gains prisoner
>At last a guy comes and tries to help me out
>He slips to the ground helping me, falling into a puddle of my own vomit and then proceeds to run the fuck away
>fuckinggreat.jpg
>Hamplanet is sitting there munching on what seems to be on a 30 box of munchkins not giving half an orca fuck
>After lying there for about 5 minutes I am able to squirm out
>Fatty looks at me and lets loose another demonic giggle
>I sprint to the nearest taxi and beg him to drive me home
>I don't think I will ever be able to live that experience down; it still burns