HERE WE GO

>18yo
>New years eve
>Throughout the night chunky monkey supreme keeps on asking who's got the nice cologne on
>'yeah it's me'
>'wow my ex bf wore that, I love it'
>ok
>Just get so drunk I can't stand up and end up slouching in the hallway
>She's sat on the stairs from across the hallway staring at me
>'Anons friend, is can you bring Anon to me?'
>My best friend described the situation as him picking me up and just dumping me on her lap
>All I remember up until the big scene is the hambeast dragging my up the two flights of stairs (3 story house) up into the owners bedroom
>Big scene approaching
>She's sucking me off on the middle of the floor
>Door creaks open
>20 other people at the party are all cheering and screaming
>Door flies open
>No more screaming
>Just laughing
>Tubmiester of chunkmountain rolled over leaving me with a semi erect willikers hanging out
>Too drunk to pull up trousers
>Everyone thinks I have a small dick now bc semi erect/fully erect

the morning after

>I have no memory of the previous night at the time
>'Yo why did I wake up next to the fat chick'
>Room erupts into laughter
>Get called baby dick and chubby chaser for the next year

there we go