Fat Sick and Nearly Dead aint got nothing on this

>Be ottermode (competitive distance runner, lifting)
>Eat 4000-5000 Calories a day
>Make my own lunch in addition to cafeteria lunch because cafeteria lunch is tiny and unhealthy as fuck
>Get to the checkout with a salad and a yogurt parfait
>Lvl 56 fitness-hating hambeast lunchlady looks at my lunch
>Her eyes become watery
>"... is... is t-that it?"
>Just look at her, like wtf is going on
>Quietly mutter, "uh, I guess"
>The line behind me is piling up, the lady is fumbling with my change in her oily hands
>Girl I was crushing on is watching
>"T-take a cookie... you d-don't have to starve yourself"
>"Uh, no thanks, I brought some other stuff."
>Finish checking out
>Think of all the things I could have said to hurt the landwhale