Quality is fucking tight lately.

>Genetic major
>Innalab
>Studying mutagens
>Sitting between qt redhead and 200lb polynesian female, opposite South African gymbro
>Demonstrator tells us to partner up with out neighbour
>Start to feel nervous
>Quickly count pairs off down the table I'm at
>no please
>please god no
>"Ah'm Repecca" (no typo their ape language doesn't have a 'b')
>"A-Anon"
>South Africunt is losing his shit
>Here we fucking go
>To start the lab we have to prepare two dozen cultures of salmonella
>I have to pipette the bacteria onto the dish because she literally cannot get the tip into the test-tube
>She starts talking about food
>I thought this was an exaggeration, but she literally waxed eloquent for the ten minutes it took me to prepare the cultures about McDonalds
>Mention I work at KFC, still trying to be reasonably polite
>"OH MY GOD THAT'S AMAZING DO YOU GET A STAFF DISCOUNT"
>Tell her I don't eat there if I can help it
>She stares at me like I'm retarded
>Finish last culture just in time, time for the next part of the lab
>South Africunt is still wearing that shit-eating apartheid grin
>Glare at him
>We had to bring our own 'mutagens', basically for fun to see what household items were potential mutagens
>The Titanic Tongan brought nothing, staying true to her theme of doing nothing helpful
>Bitch probably would have brought an apple or something anyway
>I brought along a baggie of brotein powder
>Start preparing filter paper discs with it
>Tropic Thunder catches a whiff of it (ON cookies & cream masterrace)
>"That smells so good Anon. Is it cake mix? Can I try some?"
>Tell her no
>"Why not?" she tries to look at me with puppydog eyes, but she can't tilt her head down far enough due to excess chins
>Bertstare
>"You'll contaminate it."
>She huffs and starts to ignore me
>lol okay
>Finish prepping filter circles, share them out with the rest of the lab
>Apply various household products to cultures along with some confirmed mutagens from the lab staff in case none of our stuff works
>All without her help
>Four-hour lab, finish with 45 minutes to spare
>"Took you long enough."
>Ignore her by sheer force of will
>tfw I have to see her again in a fortnight at our next lab
>tfw she will either talk about food and do nothing to help or sit there being fat and not help
>tfw I'm going to do my PhD on genetic's impact on obesity