be relatively /fit/ 18 year old

>sitting at a salad bar in a mall food court
>watching fatties at a fast food restaurant
>i'm waiting for them to do something that will make me laugh
>choking back tears, sweating in anticipation of the LOLz that will surely arise from these hamplanets doing something funny
>seriously sweating now
>i'm wetter than lettuce
>staring at them harder and harder
>one looks at me
>i look away
>quickly note this down on my legs (because they're fucking huge)
>run back home
>almost get arrested because I didn't pay for the salad
>tip the guy 60% for reminding me to pay
>clap when he does the bill elegantly
>give him hand job for good measure
>finally get back home
>remember that cardio kills gains
>knock back six protein shakes
>bench lmao6plate
>knock back another six protein shakes
>eat big to get even bigger
>story is almost gone because sweat gains
>fill it in with funny shit to appease other anonymous dwellers on a site dedicated to fps
>they laugh
>I laugh
>it fills the void where my gf would be if I had one ever