Traditional Sushi Flavour

>Go to all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant for dat fish protein
>get the booth across from Jabba the Pizza Hutt
>halfway through third smoked salmon roll when I overhear tub-o-lard raising her voice at the barely-english-speaking waiter
>wants the chef to take out the tuna from the tuna and cream cheese sushi and bring her LITERALLY RICE AND CREAM CHEESE.
>waiter timidly tells gargantuan that the sushi chef doesn't change his recipes, and she'd have to order something else if she didn't want tuna on it
>"WELL FINE THEN JUST GIVE ME THE TUNA ON IT, GAWD."
>ten minutes later I see her hunched over her place, unwrapping each piece of sushi, separating the ingredients into little piles, one for tuna, one for rice, and one for cream cheese
>then, using her chopsticks like a spoon, mixes the cream cheese and rice together and starts shoveling it into her mouth

I left a 20$ tip for that waiter, because I doubt she did.