Meanwhile in Australia

So i worked as a McManager in Australia for a couple years. And i've seen some horrific shit, many many FPS stories among other brain raping, vomit inducing shit that happened at Maccas.

>Be working in the cafe at around 11pm
>Cleaning up all the dining room due to a pod of loud fucking kiwi's (New Zealanders - If you've never seen a gathering of kiwi's it is pretty much akin to a zoo full of howler monkeys throwing food at each other and screaming about their CUURVEH bodies and bloated baluga whale tits, But i digress)
>Shit's finally Mc'standard clean
>quite proud of my efforts
>A thin asian man comes to the cafe and i serve him, he is very nice even though he has very poor english
>Get's his bulking nuggets and coffee and sits down and quietly eats his moderately foul food
>Suddenly i notice the latte i am making for myself starts rippling.
>The dick (no-homo) i had etched onto the froth morphs into a skull
> "Dats baaaad Juju Mon! Evil a commin!"
>3 morbidly obese tradesmen hurtle at light speed in slow motion through door in single file, due to their individual girth extending to either side of THE FUCKING DOUBLE DOORS
>Order their hourly injections of saturated fats and salts.
>All order large diet coke (this happens far too much)
>they sit down across the dining room from asian man
>If anyone has watched Spirited away this was pretty much the pig scene at the start
>but with more food impacting with the ceiling at high velocity
>I try to avoid looking at them as throwing up would ruin my cleaning job
>Asian man goes to throw out his finished meal
>One of the Rosie O'Donnell impersonators notices food on tray as man throws it out
"Oi ya skinny cunt! Why's ya throh that out ya dumb asian, too much for ya? I coulda had that!"
>Notice nine large objects jiggling at rapid speed out of my peripherals and a honking noise like someone strangling a fog horn
>They are all laughing at the lipid storage facility's greed and asian mans obvious discomfort
>Politely ask them to stop harassing the asianbro
>this seems to unlock the diabetic fury stored deep in their guts (Probably next to their second stomach or some shit)
>They start yelling at me and at the asian guy
>I would try to remember what they were saying but i was too mesmerized at the fact they could yell and not choke on the filth they shoveled into their gullets
>after about 2 minutes they are obviously exerted from the amount of loud grunts and fart noises required to defend their planetiod asses from doing the right thing
>Tell them to get the fuck out
>Start yelling with increased vigor, call me a curly haired cunt, skinny cunt, comment on how mcdonalds is ment to be respectful of their "kind"
>Repeat myself and they begin to leave, not before throwing their un-eaten food all over dining room and mashing sauce into chairs.
>More whale calls towards me and asianbro as they orbit towards door.
>They are walking side by side yelling back at me
>two of them collide with the sliding doors as one walks through, sounds like a gunshot there is that much mass hitting glass
>they quickly regain their upright gravitational positions and quickly waddle out without another word
>if they did say something i couldn't hear them, Laughing too hard
>make asianbro another coffee for free and get one of the other crew to help me clean the feeding area
>there is a shit stain on one of the chairs
>It was where rosie was sitting
>took 30 minutes to clean 3 peoples mess
>This was the day all fat people became my arch nemisis
>ohh also there was a face shaped grease stain on the sliding door.
>Fat all over his face as he hit door
>Nightmares about jabba the hut eating me that night