Meanwhile in an alternate universe

>walk on street
>fat woman walking towards me
>taking up the space of the entire fucking sidewalk
>ham, ham everywhere
>out of nowhere she begins to grow larger
>she looks surprised herself
>suddenly she's as wide as the entire street
>people are screaming and running for their lives
>begins to consume cars and parts of buildings
>the gravitational pull of her body is now so large that people are being pulled towards her giant body
>succesfull colonies of human settlements eventually emerge after centuries of fighting off the giant lice that reside in her bellybutton