U r 1 cheeky kunt m8

>Fat coworker is diabetic, always makes a big show of taking out his needles and insulin and going into the bathroom
>Always eating sandwiches and burritos to "keep the blood sugar up"
>"Cuz of the diabeetus"
>Always late, nice to clients and can actually build good sales relationships, but sucks at the rest of the job.
>One day waits until a couple people are in his area, and "faints"
>People freak out, secretary grabs candy from her stash and brings it over
>"Eat this, for your blood sugar!"
>Instantly awake, eating candy. Everyone relieved. Asks for more, eats more.
>Paramedics come (supervisor didn't even get up, just called 911 and went back to work. she knew what was up)
>Still eating, went through all the sec's candy, people buying him shit from vending machine.
>Tells paramedics the story, they shine a light in his eyes and take his blood pressure looking bored and leave
>Coworker goes home "sick", asks if anyone has food to eat in the car so he doesn't pass out again, takes two people's lunches with him