PARTY HARD

>Go to a small party
>Socializing with a small group of people
>All of a sudden, a wild hamplanet appears
>Dafuk did this bitch come out from?
>Apparently it's a roommate, didn't know the moon was attending my university.
>After complaining about how tired she is, despite having just woken up, it starts talking about how smart she is for having done her GRE's
>Fatty keeps blabbing about herself, despite no guy giving her any attention.
>Tries to kick it up a notch by talking about how Marilyn Monroe and other bitches from that era were fat
>The fuck kinda transition is that?
>Host brings out a tray of brownies and offers some, decline cause I'm on keto.
>Fatty takes 3 and looks over at me saying "You can watch me eat them and live vicariously through me."
>Say "I don't want to get fat by looking at you."
>Fatty says to the host "Anon, I think you need to tell you friend to leave."
>Fatty wadles over to the door (whatta workout!) and opens the door for me.
>Look her in the eye as I walk out and see her sense of self-loathing for being so weak
>Walk back to my room feeling prideful as fuck.