This is how you do it

>leaving work Friday night and notice oil life is at 20%
>stop at Meijer to get some oil and a filter
>expensive so I decide to go to autozone instead
>woman version of shrek stops me, assumes I work there because red t-shirt
"excuse me sir, I was looking for a blanket that's a good size for me. Something I can just warm up in after getting out of the shower"
>trying to sound flirty or something
"Go to isle 23 in the back, in the middle of the isle on the left side you will see large yellow containers on the bottom, red containers on top of those. And to the left of them should be something in your size"

>mfw the containers are oil jugs
>mfw to the left of them is the car covers