She's... coming...

>be senior in high school
>latin teacher is hamplanet the likes of which i have never seen
>get detention for falling asleep and have to stay after school
>"my grandaughter is coming to hang out and she is so amazing and smart and blah blah blah"
>feel a tremor as the building begins to rhythmically shudder
>look out of the classroom and see what can only be described as hamplanet prime squeezing her mythical bulk through the door
>I mean, literally squeezing through as she is too wide to fit through the narrow-ish doors of my high school
>She sees me and my overdeveloped upper body (i had been a gymnast for my whole lift) and gets a look of hunger in her eyes the likes of which has only been known by the hordes of jelly doughnuts that have fallen prey to this hamplanet prime
>She waddles over to me and the smell of decade old sweat is overpowering
>"Hi *wheeze* i'm sarah, Mrs. Caldwell's granddaughter. *wheeze wheeze* You're anon right?"
>how the fuck does she know who i am?
>"uh... y-yeah... how do you know me?"
>she tries to sit down in a desk, but doesn't fit so she sits on top of it
>the desk groans dangerously but holds... barley
>"i've seen you around. You know, i think gymnastics is really cool and gymnasts are super cute"
>red_alert_defcon4.jpg
>"yeah gymnastics is cool..."
>she giggles and tries to keep up small talk while i furiously clean transparencies in a mad ditch effort to escape her gravitational pull
>"sarah, do you wan't me to order you some food?"
>mfw latin teacher orders her granddaughter 2 large pizzas from the dominoes down the street
>finish cleaning transparencies, sign out of detention and make a break for it
>realize i forgot my backpack and decide to take the chance and go back for it
>"wow grandma, anon is really cute and nice. i think he likes me"
>mission abort!
>leave backpack for dead
>mfw latin teacher gave me a 40 point curve on every test from then on out and always made me stay late when sarah was coming