walking home from the gym

> lard galaxy collides with our galaxy and accosts me from across the street
> we're all so small and insignificant in the grand scheme of all things
> you are nothing in the face of such unfathomable endless lard
> "YEAH KEEP WALKING FASTER ASSHOLE DON'T WORRY I WON'T BE ABLE TO KEEP UP! I'VE JUST GOT REAL MUSCLE AND NOT WEIRD RABBIT LEGS!"
> this bitch is on fucking drugs
> "Ma'am, I'm really and truly sorry, oh god. Please, go in front of me. It is not my intention to walk faster than you."
> Please go away
> She starts swinging her enormous spiral arms and screaming at the top of her logs
> Falls over and spills her ice cream all over her tits
> "HELP HATE CRIME I'M THE VICTIM OF A HATE CRIME SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME"
> I can see at this point that she's not wearing any panties and her legs are completely covered in shit
> a dog walks by and starts eating the shit out of her ass and pussy
> another dog is licking the ice cream off her tits
> she's moaning and screaming "hate crime" in the middle of the sidewalk with dogs licking her puss
> this crazy old man, probably in his 80s, walks by and starts saying "good boy" and cheering the dogs on
> hey that's pretty funny, I think I've got a couple of crackers in my pocket
> start doing that whistling noise and looking for more dogs, hoping i can offer a cracker to a dog that walks by
> instead this homeless dude approaches me and wants a cracker
> says he'll eat the bitch's shit too if that's what it takes to get a cracker
> fine whatever
> at this point she's just trying to shoo away the dog eating the ice cream off her tiddies saying "no, bad dog, that's my ice cream"
> she starts grabbing the dog's mouths, trying to make them give the ice cream back or something
> some guy walking by with his kids is all like "holy fucking shit what the fuck is going on here" and starts calling for help
> we tell him that thing is an obese woman
> he starts throwing up all over kids