Quick background info:
>college study abroad trip in Thailand
>trip was faculty led, so two college profs and one coordinator in our group
>the coordinator, we'll call her L, weighed an easy 400 lbs
>got horrified looks from the locals everywhere she waddled
>so big she can't walk normally, literally tilts back and forth comically, can't go for more than a few minutes without sitting
>to top it off, she's a really rude person. one you'd expect to see posting on TITP
>constantly bitches about everything
>never does her job of coordinating the trip, essentially exists as a living anchor along for the ride
I can't possibly detail all the misadventures of this blubber titan, but here are some memorable ones.
>it was some buddhist holiday, so the whole city makes a pilgrimage up this mountain to the temple
>she tried to make it into a big personal challenge, how she was definitely going to make the hike with the rest of the group
>other profs (who've done this before) try to tell her not to attempt it, because it's a mile or two uphill
>she ignores them, because naturally she knows best
>she makes it about a quarter mile before demanding that we get a vehicle to haul her ass the rest of the way
>when the temple is in sight, she exits the vehicle and walks the rest of the way dripping sweat from her rolls
>is proud as fuck of herself
>reaches the temple and realizes there's like a thousand stairs to climb to actually enter
>gives up and waits for us at the entrance, bitches the whole rest of the night
>our group flew north to China for a week as part of the trip, and L came along, insisting that she needed to be there
>we booked a tour bus to take us around southeast China, super rural area in the middle of nowhere
>she couldn't enter the bus without help, but got bitchy if you offered help (Are you calling me heavy??)
>absolute bro of a tour guide somehow found this like bamboo woven stool and puts it down so L can get on the bus
>she's humiliated, but accepts the help
>continues to use the stool for the next day or so
>heading to the airport to fly to another part of China
>tourbro shows up and gives us the stool to keep
>L fucking checks it as baggage
>struggling to contain my laughter
>we get to our destination and waiting at baggage claim
>everyone has their bags, L is panicking because the stool hasn't come out yet
>it finally shows up, she's visibly relieved
>we get on tour bus #2 with help of the stool
>the seats aren't big enough for her to fit in comfortably; her enormous gut is pressed up against the metal bar in front of her
This is where the story takes a turn for the worse
>i'm sitting behind the driver next to a qt3.14, we're chatting and having a general good time
>L orders her to move so she can try fitting into the seat next to me
>i am now utterly smashed between the window and this sweating, stinking behemoth for what was probably only about a 30 minute ride, but felt like hours
>finally we get to the town we're staying at
>it's at like 12000 feet elevation
>she has trouble breathing after walking 10 steps
>has to basically stay immobile or on the bus
>our trip is fucked over because we're essentially stuck with her and she can't do shit, and worse, she isn't even apologetic. she feels entitled to be on our trip and we just need to cater to her needs
>later on the bus, she has to piss
>bus stops at a roadside toilet
>basically consists of some chinese hicks that charge you money to use their flea infested holes in the ground
>she goes in, comes out a minute later
>re-enters the bus and proclaims that she can't manage to use the squat toilets because of her weight
>one of the girls will have to help hold her up
>never been so thankful for having a dick in my entire life
>one of the girls stands up and grimly accepts her fate
>they return five minutes later
>she has the thousand mile stare
She spent the rest of the trip trying to be the alcohol police, hovering over our tables and making sure we weren't ordering drinks. Tourbro was on top of it though, every time we had a meal he would disappear and come back with cases of beer. We never figured out where he was getting them. It made L madder than fuck, she never got off her high horse. Why are all fatties so self-righteous?
Eventually the fucker decided she couldn't deal with the altitude and purchased a plane ticket back to Thailand, on the college's dime of course.
The last time I saw her she was getting onto a boat to take her back to the mainland and couldn't make the step down to the boat from the dock. The Thais were very nice and kept trying to help her but she was humiliated so she just screamed at them instead.
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