Well who else would you be?

>Be me
>Have a gluten intolerance so I get wasted pretty easily
>Gymbro has a party at his house
>Bring lots of alcohol
>My gymbro is also a liteweight baby when it comes to hard alcohol and we're giggling like schoolgirl after our second shot
>Some fatty shows up, we don't like him, but it is the she-kin of this girl who is okay
>Found out it was a woman
>Apparently one of those well fed bull dykes
>I'm gone at this point so I don't care
>I do remember her scowling at people for not giving her attention while she sipped her diet coke and constantly had a full slice of pizza in her hand.


>Gymbro's roommate bought 6 boxes of the cheapoo $5 pizzas
>Weren't that many people there, maybe 15?
>At around midnight they're all gone
>Gymbro toys around and starts yelling "Who the fuck ate all my pizza?"
>The He-woman tries to play it off like "It was those drunk guys with the muscles."
>Most people there know I can't eat pizza
>My roommate just says to the She-man "Shut up, you faggot!"
>I ask why her fancy shirt from torrid is covered in ranch
>Suggests my gymbro lick it off
>She fucking pepper sprays us and calls the cops claiming we tried to assault her
>The next day I had to cancel an important meeting because I was in so much fucking pain
>Ordinary girl gets her she-kin to calm down and they leave
>Make a pact, frame it on the entrance, that no fat bitches are allowed in this house