Now this is more like it.

>be in relationship with girl I had a huge crush on
>she is basically asexual, we don't have sex in 6 months, I'm understandably frustrated as fuck
>she breaks up with me
>really broken up about it
>go drinking ALONE in a bar ive never been to in oakland far away from my usual places
>talk to some chill old redneck dudes at the bar
>see some girls looking over at me
>ignore and keep talking
>at the end of the night redneck tells me his friend sarah really likes me and that I should talk to her
>sarah is the fattie of the group 5'2" and 240lb, 3/10
>not only am I heartbroken, but I have six months of fermenting sperm in my nutsack
>fuck this, whatever, go for the kill
>she drives my car to her house (i am drunk as fuck)
>fuck
>at least she was hygenic and didn't smell
>bust my nut and leave so fast the condom stays in her
>will never go to that bar again
>never gave her my number or real name
>...nobody knows except you