Is being fat a disability?

>In optometrist office in my college town.
>bring my own script in, for contacts
> massive ham planet is on the phone, with customer.
> so fat that the arm resets on the office chair have been removed
> castors strain under the weight
> chair won't roll,
> hammy needs a patient file, turns around in groaning chair, uses mechanical clasper thing to get file.
>halls it back to her, opens desk, I assume to get pen, instead bag of mini snickers, begins eating them while talking on phone to customer.
> other office work enters, asks if I need help.
>tell her what I want.
>" oh Sandy handles all the contacts, she will be with you when she gets off the phone, just come wait around the corner here."
> walk around corner, get better view of desk, mountain of wrappers, 1L diet coke.
>Sandy gets off phone. Asks what I need, explain again.
> gets up, and has to waddle to other desk, (to start a file for me)
> this desk chair has arms, she tried to sit down.
> oh god! The chair , I don't know how it did it but it held her, kind of. 1/3 of her ass is in the chair, the other 2/3 is hanging off the sides, as she sits on the arm rests.
>orders my lenses, asks me for payment
>hand her card, that I know won't swipe, tell her.
> oh, well we will just have you pay when they get in. ( sign states all orders must be paid day of order)
> look around, realize that the credit card manual terminal is on other side of office, and Sandy won't walk all of 20' to run my card.
>what ever.
>as I'm walking out, other office worker gets a call, tells Dr. that patient X is in the parking lot, and wants to pick up her glasses.
>" oh its raining, and she is disabled" states receptionist.
> Dr walks out with her glasses, I follow, on the way to my car.
>my car is blocked in by disabled person
> Look into the car blocking me in.
>see this disabled "person"
> fattest ham beast I have ever witnessed, in a mumu, so fat, she has arm controls for car, and a bench seat.
> disabled...

Personally I love hospital themed fat people stories

>working in the hospital
>hear patients bed alarm go off, we keep those on crazies or confused patients bed for such an event
>paitent is a Hambeast, easily 400lbs
>"why are you getting out of bed fatty?"
>"anon I HATE WATER, I HATE IT!"
>"We'll you can't get up, you can support yourself and you can only have clear liquids"
>"Coke-cola is clear, go get me one"
>"fatty no that dosent count as clear, only water"
>by this time my co workers can hear her with a mix of amusement and disgust as she begins to do that bullshit fake cry
>"Anon water gives me heartburn!"

Hospitals have given me so many FPS and I'm not a better person for it...

Dominos Bread Bowl Pastas aint got nothing on this guy.

>Lunch room, personal pan pizza day
>6" round pizzas
>See fat kid buy one, walk to trash can
>Scrapes all of the cheese and sauce off into trash forming breadbowl
>Allofmywat.jpg
>Walks over to condiment stand
>Fills breadbowl with ranch
>Drinks ranch out of the breadbowl before leaving condiment stand
>Refills breadbowl with ranch
>Lumbers over to table and sits down
>Proceeds to eat ranch like cereal out of his pizza breadbowl
>Finishes ranch, eats ranch covered breadbowl
>Hands covered in ranch
>Nearly vomit

I wish this story was fake. I'm haunted with this memory.

Ignorance is bliss, as they say

>on dinner with family
>male and female cousin there
>he's skinny, she's chubby
>"No matter how much I eat, I never gain weight"
>"Eat more" I tell him
>"Sometimes it's just genetics, you can't change it", chubby cousin tells me
>"That's not true, cuz"
>"Yes it is", says skinny cousin
>"No it's not, just count your calories"
>"Like I'll sit and count calories like a woman"

Over here, counting calories is frowned upon.
Once a friend of mine found out I did and started rambling about how doing that makes you a sissy, which I didn't give a fuck about but it surprises me how the general public is totally ignorant to how their own body works.

Catch the bus instead they said

>on the bus coming home at about 9pm
>been up since 7am and been running around the city all day doing shit
>exhausted
>bus is stuck in a traffic jam
>road is like 2 miles long
>i start to get drowsy, radiohead playing softly through my earphones
>falling in and out of sleep
>i distinctly remember having a dream where im on a bouncy castle
>suddenly bouncy castle starts leaning to one side
>open my eyes a little
>OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE THIS FAT DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT HAS APPEARED IN THE SEAT NEXT TO ME
>his disgusting weight is actually causing the seat to dip a little (and those bus seats are pretty fucking solid
>pretend to still be asleep so i dont have to look at him
>the smell. You know that fat guy smell?. That smell.
>i realise in horror that im actually slowly sliding down the seat a little towards him
>io's gravitational pull is pulling me in
>slowly drowse again
>feel some movement a little later
>open my eyes a little
>he is touching my coat
>he has one of those thick chocolate galaxy milkshakes
>i realise he has spilt a little and its trickle on to me
>figure he's just trying to wipe it off without waking me up
>puts his finger in his mouth
>WHAT THE FUCK, HE'S JUST MAKING SURE HE DOESNT WASTE ANY, ACTUALLY WIPING IT OFF OF MY COAT AND PUTTING IT IN HIS DISGUSTING MOUTH
>he starts moving his disgusting drool covered sausage fingers back towards me
>HOLY SHIT HE'S ACTUALLY GOING FOR A SECOND COURSE.
>HE'S ACTUALLY GOING TO WIPE HIS DISGUSTING SALIVA ON ME TRYING TO GET MORE CHOCOLATE
>open my eyes suddenly and shout 'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!'
>Mfw he panics and scampers away to another seat
>sit in shocked silence
>no more sleeping on this bus
>scarred for life

I seriously dont understand what goes through these people's minds.

apart from lard

Fitness Model Advice

> Be in college
> One classmate is female fitness model - fantastic ass, not "bulky" and she can into physiology
> One classmate is super-skinny feminist commie asian girl
> Fitness girl is having a conversation with two other girls about fitness
> Explaining how girls shouldn't be afraid of weights, they won't get bulky, squats and lunges, etc.
> Explaining diet is everything
> Says, "Back when I used to be chubby and I hated my body..."
> "STOP right there!"
> Enter skinny feminist, stage right
> "Don't encourage these girls to hate their bodies!"
> This gon be good
Let's see if I can get this from memory...
>"You're perpetuating gendered notions privileging thin body types over equally-healthy plus-size bodies, and reinforcing the patriarchal control men have over women's bodies as objects of desire rather than as vessels for our own social justice."
That translates to, "You're encouraging these girls to be thin, and I'm going to speculate that you think women exist only to please men. This makes you evil."
> Fitness girl has apparently seen this shit before
> "I'm encouraging them to take control of their own bodies through self-mastery and proven nutritional knowledge. What they do with that information is up to them, and I only hope that it makes them happy."
> Skinny feminist begins, "But - "
> Fitness girl interrupts. "I can squat two hundred and five pounds. How is that traditionally feminine? How does that not break stereotypes?"

There would be more, but I cracked up at this point and feminist girl turned her aggression at me.

It's not my fault, the NHS should have helped: The former world's fattest man to sue health service for his weight gain

This is the cunt in question now: The hero that gotham deserves.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344930/Former-worlds-fattest-man-Paul-Mason-sue-NHS-weight-gain.html

A man who once weighed nearly 70 stone is to launch legal action against the NHS, claiming they failed to help him as his size soared.Former postman Paul Mason received life-saving gastric surgery last year binge-eating his way to gargantuan size.But the 50-year-old, who now weighs in at a comparatively small 37 stone, said he should have been helped years ago.Fattest man: Paul Mason received a vital operation after ballooning to nearly 70 stone but plans to sue the NHS for ignoring his pleas for helpMr Mason, who was eating 20,000 calories a day at his heaviest, claims he sought help from his GP after ballooning to 30 stone.Instead of receiving a treatment programme to manage his weight, he has complained he was told in 1996: 'Ride your bike more.' 

He also says he was sent to a dietician, rather than the eating disorders specialist he had asked to see, after his weight hit 64 stone.'I want to set a precedent so no one else has to get to the same size - and to put something back into society,' Mr Mason told The Sun.Binging: Paul Mason was eating 20,000 calories a day at his heaviest

Life-saving op: Paul Mason is lifted into place ahead of the surgery that helped him lose 20 stone in a yearHe has pledged to put any compensation he receives if successful towards helping other obese people lose weight.An NHS spokesman said of the purported lawsuit: 'As we have not heard from Mr Mason, it would be inappropriate to speculate.'Mr Mason's care bill costs taxpayers an estimated £100,000 a year and is believed to have topped £1million over the past 15 years.At the height of his binge eating, he was consuming 20,000 calories every day - ten times the recommended daily intake for a man.Increased mobility: Paul Mason now uses a motorised wheelchair to get around after surgery helped him shed 20 stoneThough he has vowed to help other people in need of weight loss operations, the cost of Mr Mason's condition will have enraged patients on NHS waiting lists, commentators said this week.'It’s such a shame that so much time and resources have to go to help one person, these nurses will be sorely missed at a time when public finances are squeezed,' said Charlotte Linacre, Campaign Manager at the TaxPayers’ Alliance.'Although there is sympathy for people struggling with health issues, taxpayers will not feel this is a fair allocation of funds as they sit on waiting lists while footing the bill for his personal care.'

Guy must have shit like a train.

Work stories

>Very fat lady at work
>Nice enough person, just can't stop eating
>One day comes back at lunch with enough food for four people, starts to eat it all
>Catches me looking dumbstruck "What?"
>I er... you're going to have a tummy ache
>It's fine.

>About an hour later, she complains of a belly ache
>She's bending over to get something out of her peddlestool when she farts, like a "hilarious" cartoon fart...
>What followed was she shouted "OH GOD" followed by her jeans turning oily brown...
>and diarrhoea trailing out of the bottom of her jeans causing everyone at their desks to scream and recoil in horror

>she ran out crying
>never came back

That feeling

>Roommate is lazy as fuck, hardly ever leaves his room except to go to class
>Doesn't have class a few days a week since his major is a joke and he has independent study courses
>Despite having so much free time he insists on getting fast food for at least one meal a day rather than just cooking something healthier
>Chips and pop all day on top of that
>Hardly ever goes out anymore, and when he does it's with his girlfriend's friends
>His girlfriend is also gross, boring, has joke major
>I would worry about what's going to happen to them if he didn't assume my going to the gym and joining a fraternity meant I was trying to be a stereotypical frat bro

Girl science

>bf use to be hamplanet; now lost over 150lbs (back at her high school weight)
>looked up to her and my other bf and started to seriously lose weight
>lost so far 92lbs but I have at least 50-70lbs to go before i'm at mirin' stage
>other friend is very nice smart girl but total hamplanet (350lbs and 5'9)
>constantly goes on this fad diets that always fail
>bf constantly tells her to just cut calories and exercise and she'll drop the weight
>fatass friend always complains that it's not the "fast way to lose weight"
>bf lost 150lbs within 1 year by becoming a vegeterian and exercising at least 2-3 hours a day
>fatass friend complains about how fat she is but never does anything about it
>fatties gonna fat

BRO SCIENCE

>Work as closer driver, at pizza place
>New hamplanet older guy starts, is closing with me and REALLY likes to talk
>I came to work in street clothes, and everyone was complimenting me on how swole I was looking
>We're closing and he starts talking to me about lifting
>oh God, I'm so excited. I know where this is going
>asks me "How much do you bench, blah blah blah"
>try to reply but instantly interrupted
>"I went to the Doctor and he said that you keep all your muscle, I used to be really fit, so yeah I look bad now, but If i just cut I'd have my old body back."
>starts throwing down even more weight-loss broscience at me

I just wanted to lol the whole night, but i just kept my head down

Ursula from The Little Mermaid with vitilago

>just started new job at dietary supplement company working as a lab technician
>lead is a woman in her 40s who is at least 350 lbs, has blue/purple hair and is incredibly loud and pale. She looks like Ursula from The Little Mermaid with vitilago
>the irony of this woman working at a health foods company is almost insulting
>she managed to tilt her way out of her chair and used her momentum to make it to the bathroom, she left her coat at her desk and I glanced at the size. 6XL
>every day she has three half-empty 1L bottles of Dr. Pepper on her desk and one 20 oz can of Monster Energy ASSAULT
>leads stretches every morning, can't do half of them. she can't reach her arms over her head to stretch her triceps or grab her foot to stretch her quad
>is out of breath from climbing one flight of stairs to get to her office, and very rarely leaves her desk to do any actual testing or training or installing lab equipment, just orders products and writes emails all day
>is horribly incompetent and doesn't even order the right products, I have 500 of the wrong-sized scoops and only four correct ones, and those came with the instrument. Same with sampling pans, beakers, flasks, and jars. We don't even have all of our equipment necessary to perform tests since they get progressively delayed, what was supposed to be here last Friday gets pushed to next, that sort of shit.

One Friday the whole department went out to have all-you-can-eat sushi. She and her husband were there an hour before everybody else, and had already scarfed down at least six rolls between the two of them already, and when the rest of us showed up they had an additional eight rolls brought to them. She's a nice lady, maybe a little too touchy and affectionate (she says she's from Georgia and that's how people are down there, here in Nevada it's a little invasive), but I really think she's going to be fired soon. Thank god.

That smell

I didn't believe you guys about the smell because I rarely get close to morbidly obese people, but holy shit

>in lab with hamplanet easily pushing 300
>same fat bitch that broke a chair once during orientation, second time in the middle of class
>have to stand behind her to get solution to be analyzed
>dat fucking smell
>some sick combination of something putrid, BO, and feces
>if I were to analyze the smell the only conclusion would be its death
>end up finishing about half an hour later than normal due to me avoiding going near her

not even one of those fatties that stays silent, bitch would not shut the fuck up

Meanwhile in an alternate universe

>walk on street
>fat woman walking towards me
>taking up the space of the entire fucking sidewalk
>ham, ham everywhere
>out of nowhere she begins to grow larger
>she looks surprised herself
>suddenly she's as wide as the entire street
>people are screaming and running for their lives
>begins to consume cars and parts of buildings
>the gravitational pull of her body is now so large that people are being pulled towards her giant body
>succesfull colonies of human settlements eventually emerge after centuries of fighting off the giant lice that reside in her bellybutton

I didn't see that in the p90x booklet

today
>obese coworker (at least 300 lbs)
>finally decides to lose some weight, good for him
>bragging about starting p90x
>another guy at work says he's going on a breakfast run to mcd's
>fatass requests the big breakfast with hotcakes, extra syrup, and a large sweet tea
>"aren't you trying to lose weight? You probably shouldn't be eating that?"
"WHAT THE FUCK BRO IT'S JUST SAUSAGE AND EGGS AND STUFF, THAT'S NOT BAD FOR YOU"
>look up nutrition stats later out of curiosity
>around 1500 kcal, 90% dv of fat, 85 g sugar
>all of my what

Breakfast of champions

>Have roommate
> weighs 275, lifts and claims all muscle
>yesterday "I will get breakfest"
>"cool" - me
> comes back with sugar cereal, and 6 danishs
>fatasfatass has 3 danish and says rest for you
>I have one(I weigh 150 and clean/dirty bulking)
>1 hr later
>slight rummble in tummy
>mass builder and danish would be good
>cant find them??
>did I lose them?
>o well have mass builder and shitton of Peanut butter
>Danish package appeared this morning - empty

What is your major malfunction Private?

I remember over highschool summer I had a roommate for JROTC. Kid was insanely fat, and ridiculously psychotic.
>"Genocides and holocausts are a form of population control"
>"If i could, I would shoot everyone on campus"

shit like that
BEST PART was that he'd keep saying throughout the 5 weeks he wants to lose weight.

>says he wants to lose weight
>One day Cafeteria has cinnabuns
>he decides sine "he wants to lose weight, he'll only eat a salad
>Comes back with the salad
>This thing is covered, fucking caked in ranch dressing
>more ranch dressing then there is fucking salad

"Guys Im saving up for desert"

>Desert time
>he goes and grabs THIRTEEN MOTHERFUCKING CINNABUNS
>all the other cadets are facepalming
>Gets better
>Pours ketchup all over the sugary filled cinnamon buns
>Practically inhales each one of them down.
>3 minutes later all thirteen ketchup covered buns are gone.

As if it weren't bad enough, the kid bought Dry Ramen Noodle packs and ate them fucking raw. He'd go through several of those a day. Each containing an unhealthy amount of salt.

Every day as like this all while constantly saying "I'm trying to lose weight". Fucking future serial killer fat as fatass. Hope he drops from heart failure one day.

Family Ties

Hey brah, just wannah share my experience.
>brother starts dating fatty
>Maccas everyday
>after a year i mention he is overweight
>he brushes me off for the next 6 months
>brother and his gf break up
>we start talking again
>he loses 50kgs
>same shit is happening right now with new gf
>too afraid to bring it up as I know what will happen.
I would rather have a fat selfish brother than no brother I guess..

Round Table Buffet

>driving home today after hittin dat dere Round Table buffet (Unlimited hard boiled eggs), pull up to a stop light
>glance in my rear view mirror into the car behind me
>see a whale somehow squeezed into a car slowly coming up behind me swerving because its driving with its knees because both its fins are mashing a hamburger into its face
>worry.jpg
>It comes to a hard stop (poor brakes)
>Light turns green, watch in the rear view as it swerves because it can't wait to get home to eat

Its not that big of a story, and I'll eat while I drive, but this was totally unsafe for everyone else on the road.

Five Guys, One Cup

>go to five guys out of laziness
>order a little bacon burger cheeseburger and water
>while wating for my order a landwhale walks up and gets 2 bags of food
>asks which are cajun fries and which are normal
>assume she's ordering for multiple people
>as I leave I notice she has two double burgers, two orders of fries, and a large sweet tea
>shoveling food into her mouth at record speed
>look around
>everyone else in the restaurant is fat

maybe I shouldn't eat 5 guys... so good though.