Woman logic: It's a thing

I'm the guy from the Naturopath story a few days ago in which my co-worker claimed
"Protein contains Animal Fat"

She also believes that:

Black coffee is basically poison but her 'green coffee' is alright. Like your fatty she also guzzles rockstars and monsters.

That eating too many vegetables will overload your system and you overdoes on nutrients.

That most fruit doesn't contain sugar.

That she is lactose intolerant, buys the ridiculous milk and all that shit, yet smashes down cupcakes, yoghurt (with lactose - i checked) and cream buns like it's no tomorrow.

The fish&chips is healthy because it's basically fish and potato.

That eating 6-8 slices of soy & linseed as a substitute for her usual 2-3 slices of white toast is any better.

And like most women, believes that nibbling a salad once a month will cause rapid weight loss.

.....

Oh god the ignorance. I am not a smart man, but I at least have some idea of how the universe works. Why don't people ask why anymore? They will blindly follow people who claim they have all the answers with nothing concrete to back themselves on. It is mind boggling that people would rather think that magnets and crystals and herbs will cure their aliments, than read peer reviews or listen to scientist. They ignore SCIENCE, the aggregate of human understanding. It's imperfect, but it's what we know. Damn.

Fat People Stories: Austraian Edition

>heard a fatass woman complain that she "needs a coke" in that whiny, bitchy, fucking nasally whinge that fat shits have

>heard it while i was in line for student benefits
>she was in front, complaining the whole time

and this is the part i don't expect people to believe, but i swear on my life is true.

>does the coke whine
>explains to her boyfriend "oh, Marcy's doctor says she needs more potassium, and there's lots of potassium in caffeine, which is in coke, so her doc said it was okay for her to drink it. and you know my doctor said i need more potassium, so..."
>she does this fucking shit-eating grin at the boyfriend
>"coke is good for me."
>i'm struggling to not groan out loud
>boyfriend looks at her weird
>"if you need potassium, why not just eat a banana?"
>she sneers and punches him on the arm

all of my fucking hatred. all of it. and now for the finisher:

>talking to centrelink worker, finally
>hear fat shit talking to her worker
>she's in claiming benefits because of a heart condition, making it impossible for her to work
>heart condition
>drinking caffeine
>heart condition
>potassium
>shit's fucking bananas, yo

Must be doing Starting Strength

>get done with leg day at the gym
>big mistake since I ran there.
>on the way home stop at the store in my gym clothes to grab a gallon of milk.
>standing in line and this 8/10 guy gets in line behind me with a basket.
>he's clearly mirin'
>"just get back from the gym man?" he asks
>Monstrosity of a hamplanet gets in line behind him propping herself up on otherwise empty cart with just two 2 liters of coke.
>I nod and smile.
>"Lookin good"
>"Thanks, you're pretty easy on the eyes yourself."
>he timidly brushes his hair aside.
>is this tfw qt bf?!
>he's laying out the fixings for chicken parmasean onto the belt.
>"oOoO Chicken Parmasean my favorite" I say to him
>So thirsty, have to start slugging down some milk now
>"Making dinner for me and mom"
>ham planet between gasps for breath manages to interupt our conversation and asks him "would you mind being a doll and putting my coke up there for me swetheart?"
>"Ah, how sweet, making dinner for mom." take another chug of milk.
> Hamplanet makes a motion I can only assume is to be pointing at my now quarter empty jug of milk.
>momentarily wonder if modern computers could model the chaotic motion of her underarm flab.
>"You really shouldn't drink that much milk, it's bad for you"
>must.contain.rage...nope, bitch is fucking with my game.
>"who the hell are YOU to be handing out unwelcome advice on what's healthy?!? I mean look at you!"
>she hangs her head in visible shame. I scoff and mumble "people" to Mr Q.T. Pants.
>qt glares at me
>waitwhatsgoingonhere.jpg
>"Just ignore him mom, he's a fucking ass."

The Biggest Loser: Another Clerk-Bro

I see these fat landwhales come into my store on a day to day basis. Allmyrage when they come through my till and go on about fitness. I dont normally check on till because I unload the trucks and do BDR, but every now and then I gotta go up front and greet these sad sacks of shit.

We have this one cashier who works for us, shes atleast 60lbs over weight. She invented this fucking contest like the show "Biggest Loser" where whoever in the store loses the most weight, wins a pot of money.
She acts like a no-it-all on fitness because she was skinny when she was in highschool/college. She coaches the other cashiers on how to get fit, yet shes fat herself, and acts like she knows everything about fitness but shes just quoting shit she read in cosmo or something

I tried to explain to her that this contest is rigged for the fattest person to win, and any of the /fit/ or skinny people there would stand no chance. She goes on about how you can be skinny or overweight, working the same amount will yeild the same amount of lbs lost. I try to defend those who are trying to gain weight through muscle and strength training. I just wanted to smack the bitch and tell her that this one dude who works with us whos 450lbs, if he went to the sauna every day for a week, hed drop 50lbs of water weight, your contest is invalid, you should base it on a Body-Mass-Index. She doesnt understand. Allmyrage again when this self-titled former fitness trainer doesnt know what a BMI is and thinks a fat person and fit person will lose the same amount of weight.

Girl science

>bf use to be hamplanet; now lost over 150lbs (back at her high school weight)
>looked up to her and my other bf and started to seriously lose weight
>lost so far 92lbs but I have at least 50-70lbs to go before i'm at mirin' stage
>other friend is very nice smart girl but total hamplanet (350lbs and 5'9)
>constantly goes on this fad diets that always fail
>bf constantly tells her to just cut calories and exercise and she'll drop the weight
>fatass friend always complains that it's not the "fast way to lose weight"
>bf lost 150lbs within 1 year by becoming a vegeterian and exercising at least 2-3 hours a day
>fatass friend complains about how fat she is but never does anything about it
>fatties gonna fat

Route 66

>be on the bus
>two chubby/borderline fat girls get on the bus
>all that's keeping them looking round and not like garbage bags full of ketchup is youth
>both have big coffee drinks and muffins
>talking and eating together
>one finds the nutritional info printed on the side of the package for the muffin
>"omg! this has 500 calories!"
>the other one leans in and studies it for a second
>"no, no, you're not looking at the right one. it only has 200 calories from fat, and those are the only ones that get absorbed by your body."
>first fatty says "oooh" as if she's learned something
>they both continue eating
>mfw fat girl science