Obese people have no hygiene

Forgot about this one. This guy wasn't my patient but I was working the floor

>working on a unit that was short staffed for the night
>ham beast decided to take his own life and kill himself via a cocktail of meds that would have put a fucking rhino down.
>God has a twisted sense of humor. This 400 pound sack of shit still lives albeit with so many tubes going into him he is more hospital equipment then a person.
>respiratory bros come up to see how the breathing tube is working out and they come out pale. Like sheet white.
> the smell from the guys breathe was fucking horrible.
>Me and his nurse who is like 5ft3 go in to check out what's going on
>it's a rotting smell like that kind of sweet musky meat smell, like road kill.
> I mask up, gloves a gown and she does the same.
>this tiny, ballsy nurse who is acting like it doesn't smell at all finds the source
>there is a fungal growth on his molar. The combo of o2, warmth, and darkness made it grow. I leave almost vomiting.
>specialist came in first thing in the morning and yanked it although the dude was most likely going to die. He said if it weren't for the drying effect the o2 had it would have been so much worst and there is no way he could have picked it up in transit to the hospital or in it itself.
>fat guy has a fungal growth in his fucking tooth.
>every time me and that nurse see each other she chuckles.

If only you could shoot up graham crackers

>doing report on a computer with 2 of my co-workers doing the same. Coworker 2 gets up to get a coffee
>call button goes off for some junkie trailer trash who's in for the flu cause the only time she uses a needle it's for heroin
>360lbs women informs me she needs graham crackers because at 5:00am, why the fuck not.
>coworker #1 goes and gets her 2 packs and gives her the "sleep= recover" speech but this bitch hears what she wants.
>coworker 1 returns with her coffee and asks where 2 is and I inform her.
>she kind of scoff's and justifiably shakes her head.
>co workers 1&2 are back by the desk and we hear the trusty bed alarm go off.
> I go to investigate and find she opened up her giant leather purse and is eating pudding cups produced from said purse with graham crackers as the spoon.
>"fatty what are you doing?"
>"it makes my throat feel better."

Personally I love hospital themed fat people stories

>working in the hospital
>hear patients bed alarm go off, we keep those on crazies or confused patients bed for such an event
>paitent is a Hambeast, easily 400lbs
>"why are you getting out of bed fatty?"
>"anon I HATE WATER, I HATE IT!"
>"We'll you can't get up, you can support yourself and you can only have clear liquids"
>"Coke-cola is clear, go get me one"
>"fatty no that dosent count as clear, only water"
>by this time my co workers can hear her with a mix of amusement and disgust as she begins to do that bullshit fake cry
>"Anon water gives me heartburn!"

Hospitals have given me so many FPS and I'm not a better person for it...

Fat People Stories: Hospital Edition

>be 11
>be 240lbs obesemode, never knew I was that fat until I was weighed in the hospital, always had friends to stick up for me at the time.
>have appendicitis
>go in for surgery
>be almost 9 years later
>read this post
>think about all the stupid fat kid shit I did back then
>think about how much lard the Doctor must of had to hack through in order to reach my appendix
>think about how paranoid I was that the cute nurse lady in the OR was going to peek up my gown and see my balls
>think about the time I pissed on the floor off the side of my bed because getting up to go to the bathroom was excruciating and caused my stitches to tear from my stomach hanging down. They gave me a pot to piss in that was, ironically, right next to the bathroom across the pediatric room I was in.
>Think about how much of a smart ass I was and how ruthlessly they would have made fun of me in surgery.

I'm glad those times are over now. Those guys do good work. A friend of mine is a Nurse and she's stressed as fuck over her job. There are defenitly some good people working in medicine.

40 Year Old Virgin

>work in a hospital
>forced to take my lunch break in a room together with all the nurses
>one of them is about 40-year-old fat as fatass
>they start talking about sex
>ohboyherewego.jpg
>start sharing sex stories about weird shit that happened to them with men
>everyone tries to one-up the story before
>everyone laughing
>fatty says "I'm still a virgin. I'm waiting for the right one."
>fucking lose it and start laughing so hard my sides explode.
>realize everybody bertstares me
>holy shit, she was being serious
>later the day get a warning for "taking unscheduled breaks"
>fucking fatty had nothing else to report me for.
>be glad laughing is still legal.

Same hospital

>Be today
>Fatasfatass comes in
>Bilateral Femoral fracture (both femurs broken)
>He fell out of a wheel chair and broke both legs
>His skin was like a reptiles, all flaky and hard

How you break your femurs from a 2 foot fall is beyond me, but this guy somehow managed to do so.

Keep your laws off my gains

>Wife comes to see patient who has irregular heart rhythm, chest pains, previous small strokes
>Huge risk of death
>Morbidly obese jamaican, 370ish
>wife orders tests, meds
>nurse comes to get her 50 min later
>"Tests are done?"
>""No we have a problem"
>Patient had ordered 2 papa johns supremes delivered to the emergency room.
>Wife had them taken away
>Jamaican threatens alwsuit.