Maybe they are on a keto diet.. not likely

>Be Black-me in Black school sitting isolated from my fellow blacks
>It's almost exam time/final project deadline, no time for Black antics these days
>I'm working my ass off on an assignment that's due in history (first class of the day) when I hear what can only be described as a screech
>The tone hits some sort of resonance frequency that causes my stomach to flip like I just ate raw chicken or something
>Does not help that can I smell the fattest, most disgusting girl in class from her new seat only two rows ahead of me
>I have to blink rapidly, stare at my notebook like its going to run away and breath audibly in controlled bursts to keep from letting loose my half digested oats all over my half finished notes
>Eventually, the moment passes and I look up, at first confused as to how a whale got so deep in land
>Wait, that's not a whale, that's the disgusting chick's sister
>Jesus, why is she so large? Fuck it! HOW is she so large?
>I look at her hand and eavesdrop enough to learn they were squealing like pigs to the slaughter because they just realized they can preorder pizza at the pizza hut near my school, and thus, won't have to wait for it to cook during lunch
>mfw they both order two small pizzas with nothing but meat, including bacon, pepperoni and ground beef
>mfw they say they're on a diet not even two minutes later

Dominos Bread Bowl Pastas aint got nothing on this guy.

>Lunch room, personal pan pizza day
>6" round pizzas
>See fat kid buy one, walk to trash can
>Scrapes all of the cheese and sauce off into trash forming breadbowl
>Allofmywat.jpg
>Walks over to condiment stand
>Fills breadbowl with ranch
>Drinks ranch out of the breadbowl before leaving condiment stand
>Refills breadbowl with ranch
>Lumbers over to table and sits down
>Proceeds to eat ranch like cereal out of his pizza breadbowl
>Finishes ranch, eats ranch covered breadbowl
>Hands covered in ranch
>Nearly vomit

I wish this story was fake. I'm haunted with this memory.

Why are fat people so fucking impatient?

Happened to me last week.
>Be working at pizza place
>phone rings
>answer phone
>"thank you for calling blablablah my name is anon w-"
>"YEAH HI I WANT THREE PIZZAS"
>"Okay, what would y-"
>"I WANT A EXTRA SAUCE EXTRA PEPPERONI EXTRA CHEESE PIZZA LARGEST SIZE YOU GOT, A HAWAIIAN LARGEST SIZE, AND A CHICKEN BACON STUFFED CRUST LARGEST SIZE AND THREE 2 LITER SODAS"
>frantically try to write down order as she barks at me
>"alright, that will be 55 dollars. We can have it ready in about 20 minutes"
>"OKAY" *phone click*

10 minutes later...

>hamplanet and 2 orbiting porkmoons waddle into lobby demanding their food
>explain that their food isnt ready yet and that they will have to wait
>beasts sit down, taking up entire seating area
>loud groans and complaining can be heard throughout the entire store

Answer: Because their life span is so much shorter, they can't afford to wait for pizza, they need it in their mouth yesterday, so they can stuff more food in it today before they finally buy the farm and all the food there, too.

BRO SCIENCE

>Work as closer driver, at pizza place
>New hamplanet older guy starts, is closing with me and REALLY likes to talk
>I came to work in street clothes, and everyone was complimenting me on how swole I was looking
>We're closing and he starts talking to me about lifting
>oh God, I'm so excited. I know where this is going
>asks me "How much do you bench, blah blah blah"
>try to reply but instantly interrupted
>"I went to the Doctor and he said that you keep all your muscle, I used to be really fit, so yeah I look bad now, but If i just cut I'd have my old body back."
>starts throwing down even more weight-loss broscience at me

I just wanted to lol the whole night, but i just kept my head down

Fatty Photo Friday: Another Fat Person Story in Pictures

B-B-Bonus Round: Email us a picture of your face to storiesaboutfatpeople@gmail.com when you realised the hamplanet is holding a bottle of ranch to cover the pizza in.

New Section: Fatty Photo Friday !