He's not fat, just bulking

>hamplanet of a guy who goes to my school friends me on fb
>never met him before but we have a lot of mutual friends
>new years comes, sees he's going to start a diet and gym program
goodforyousillynyr.jpg
>new classes come in about a month due to semester changing
>it's in two of my classes
>one of them is a morning class
>it shows up with a bacon egg and cheese sandwich, donut, sausage egg and cheese from dunkin donuts
>along with a homemade "dietary" omelet(know this because he was telling everyone in his fucking row)
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>exams come
>one teacher is nice enough to let us eat once were finished because school has stupid policy about staying in class until everyone's done
>it pulls out a five guys double bacon cheeseburger along with two orders of fries
ohgodwhy.gif
>go on fb later, see post from it saying about how it hates being on a diet

I swear, he has bigger tits than every girl at my school

Maybe they are on a keto diet.. not likely

>Be Black-me in Black school sitting isolated from my fellow blacks
>It's almost exam time/final project deadline, no time for Black antics these days
>I'm working my ass off on an assignment that's due in history (first class of the day) when I hear what can only be described as a screech
>The tone hits some sort of resonance frequency that causes my stomach to flip like I just ate raw chicken or something
>Does not help that can I smell the fattest, most disgusting girl in class from her new seat only two rows ahead of me
>I have to blink rapidly, stare at my notebook like its going to run away and breath audibly in controlled bursts to keep from letting loose my half digested oats all over my half finished notes
>Eventually, the moment passes and I look up, at first confused as to how a whale got so deep in land
>Wait, that's not a whale, that's the disgusting chick's sister
>Jesus, why is she so large? Fuck it! HOW is she so large?
>I look at her hand and eavesdrop enough to learn they were squealing like pigs to the slaughter because they just realized they can preorder pizza at the pizza hut near my school, and thus, won't have to wait for it to cook during lunch
>mfw they both order two small pizzas with nothing but meat, including bacon, pepperoni and ground beef
>mfw they say they're on a diet not even two minutes later

Do they teach food nutrition at schools any more? It seems not.

>Get fit, just out of DYEL
>Ripped as fuark by pleb public standards
>Bitches at work mirin'
>Ask me how I do it
>Say count calories and eat as much protein as possible
>Immediately they all look at each other uncomfortably
>"But protein makes you fat"
>wut
>"Yeah cuz all the animal fat in protein makes you fat yourself"
>....


I literally backed away and walked outside the room.
The same chick visits a naturopath which should say it all.

I'd hire this guy as a personal trainer

>roommate is a personal trainer
>he's one of the ones that actually studies and learns about exercise and has a degree in some sort of sport science or something stupid like that
>he always tells me about the unwilling fat stay at home moms that come in, demand help and then act like they know better
>most recently he asked a new client all the usual questions
>"What are your goals ma'am"
>'to lose weight'
>"Can you be more specific?"
>'I want to look better'
>"Okay, never mind."
>he asked about her diet
>she felt this was a personal question and refused to answer
>he asked her to give up soda, sugary coffee and candy
>she got upset and said she's working out so she doesn't have to give them up
>my roommate is very confused and upset at this point. Tries to inform her that diet is the most important part of weight loss
>this enrages the beast and she begins getting irate, saying things like "diets don't work"
>he lets her finish
>roommate is on his last straw, leads her into a private room away from everyone else and kills her
>jk, he asks her to step on a scale. She refuses.
>"Ma'am how are we going to measure your progress without knowing how much you weigh?"
>Miss piggy starts shouting at him with curses "I aint steppin on no goddamn scale and you can't make me I'm paying for you to train me blah blah blah manager"
>roommate walks out of the room and goes about his business
>hours go by and his boss says "Did you leave a woman in the private weighing room for 2 hours?"
>"I never told her to stay in there."
>he has an official reprimand on his "record" because some fat woman didn't want to participate in her own weightloss

Is being fat a disability?

>In optometrist office in my college town.
>bring my own script in, for contacts
> massive ham planet is on the phone, with customer.
> so fat that the arm resets on the office chair have been removed
> castors strain under the weight
> chair won't roll,
> hammy needs a patient file, turns around in groaning chair, uses mechanical clasper thing to get file.
>halls it back to her, opens desk, I assume to get pen, instead bag of mini snickers, begins eating them while talking on phone to customer.
> other office work enters, asks if I need help.
>tell her what I want.
>" oh Sandy handles all the contacts, she will be with you when she gets off the phone, just come wait around the corner here."
> walk around corner, get better view of desk, mountain of wrappers, 1L diet coke.
>Sandy gets off phone. Asks what I need, explain again.
> gets up, and has to waddle to other desk, (to start a file for me)
> this desk chair has arms, she tried to sit down.
> oh god! The chair , I don't know how it did it but it held her, kind of. 1/3 of her ass is in the chair, the other 2/3 is hanging off the sides, as she sits on the arm rests.
>orders my lenses, asks me for payment
>hand her card, that I know won't swipe, tell her.
> oh, well we will just have you pay when they get in. ( sign states all orders must be paid day of order)
> look around, realize that the credit card manual terminal is on other side of office, and Sandy won't walk all of 20' to run my card.
>what ever.
>as I'm walking out, other office worker gets a call, tells Dr. that patient X is in the parking lot, and wants to pick up her glasses.
>" oh its raining, and she is disabled" states receptionist.
> Dr walks out with her glasses, I follow, on the way to my car.
>my car is blocked in by disabled person
> Look into the car blocking me in.
>see this disabled "person"
> fattest ham beast I have ever witnessed, in a mumu, so fat, she has arm controls for car, and a bench seat.
> disabled...

Mental disorders must run in the family

> go into work a little early and the person I'm replacing on my unit looks pissed
> find out that the parents of a patient called the hospital and reported her for misconduct.
> the patient is a huge 34 year old man who still lives with his parents and is in the hospital for chest pain. After the ER cleared him to go up to my unit his food/fluid restrictions were lifted just until the docs could get in there and see wtf is going on.
> nurse told the patient this and he phoned his parents to bring him something that wasn't hospital food.
> when the nurse discovered 4 bags of McDonald's she said that wasn't allowed.
>hamplanets parents called and reported her
>doctors were pissed they had to specify you can't eat 15 pounds of mcdonalds
>fuck this place

What is your major malfunction Private?

I remember over highschool summer I had a roommate for JROTC. Kid was insanely fat, and ridiculously psychotic.
>"Genocides and holocausts are a form of population control"
>"If i could, I would shoot everyone on campus"

shit like that
BEST PART was that he'd keep saying throughout the 5 weeks he wants to lose weight.

>says he wants to lose weight
>One day Cafeteria has cinnabuns
>he decides sine "he wants to lose weight, he'll only eat a salad
>Comes back with the salad
>This thing is covered, fucking caked in ranch dressing
>more ranch dressing then there is fucking salad

"Guys Im saving up for desert"

>Desert time
>he goes and grabs THIRTEEN MOTHERFUCKING CINNABUNS
>all the other cadets are facepalming
>Gets better
>Pours ketchup all over the sugary filled cinnamon buns
>Practically inhales each one of them down.
>3 minutes later all thirteen ketchup covered buns are gone.

As if it weren't bad enough, the kid bought Dry Ramen Noodle packs and ate them fucking raw. He'd go through several of those a day. Each containing an unhealthy amount of salt.

Every day as like this all while constantly saying "I'm trying to lose weight". Fucking future serial killer fat as fatass. Hope he drops from heart failure one day.

Family Ties

Hey brah, just wannah share my experience.
>brother starts dating fatty
>Maccas everyday
>after a year i mention he is overweight
>he brushes me off for the next 6 months
>brother and his gf break up
>we start talking again
>he loses 50kgs
>same shit is happening right now with new gf
>too afraid to bring it up as I know what will happen.
I would rather have a fat selfish brother than no brother I guess..

Family Ties

>Go on a diet
>Cut from 235 pounds to 198. I gained so much weight due to my bulking up during powerlifting.
>Family is impressed, will also go on a diet.
>Call them up this week.
>They don't want to go on a diet anymore.

I just... sometimes, I don't know. I'm not disappointed, I just know that they judge themselves on their looks. I feel bad for them. Mind you, they aren't hugely overweight, or even moderately - they just wanted to lose several kilos.