i fucking hate when fat disgusting people try to touch me. they defile my fucking body

>Be at bar dancing with friends
>Some of my friends are fatties, in face I'm the /fit/ one of the group
>Buddy whos trying to get /fit/ been training him, he has his eye on this one fatty, shes got a nice face though, shes got a friend, also landwhale, but looks like shes been hit by the ugly shovel
>Like I bro I help him out, we dance our way over to them
>Few songs later, they're all into eachother, and the ugly landwhale starts feeling lonely
>Tries to dance with me
>Ignore her for a few songs
>Gets to her "Fav song", she grabs my arm and starts jumping around hysterically, im just trying to ignore this ugly smelly fat bitch who wants to gobble my cock like a deep fried ice cream sundae covered in bacon.
>She touches my ass
>I pull my arm back immediately, dont even look at her
>She falls forward, onto the dance floor, fucking full out face plant
>Shes lying on the floor, I'm not even acknowledging shes hurt
>>LikeIgiveashit.jpg
>Continue dancing on while he bursts out of the bar crying out of embarrassment
>Buddy and nice-faced landwhale continue to dry-hump, they didnt see a shit
>Later that night they ask me where ugly went
>"Who?"

Perils of facebook dating

>Really fuckin hornylast night
>hit up a girl in the area on facebook
>flirt, get this pretty young thang worked up
>asks me to come over since her roomates are out
>go over
>find out shes a massive landwhale
>dont know how to respond
>she takes my hand and leads me to the shower
>we get naked and i notice how fucking fat she is
>she asks me to grab a sponge and wash her back
>i have to lift up her mutliple rolls and dig into crevices
>start to gag
>she starts kissing me and the shower is fucking ice cold
>tell her its cold
>she says shes warm
>leave without even getting off what the fuck

I should have left the moment i walked in

Five Guys, One Cup

>go to five guys out of laziness
>order a little bacon burger cheeseburger and water
>while wating for my order a landwhale walks up and gets 2 bags of food
>asks which are cajun fries and which are normal
>assume she's ordering for multiple people
>as I leave I notice she has two double burgers, two orders of fries, and a large sweet tea
>shoveling food into her mouth at record speed
>look around
>everyone else in the restaurant is fat

maybe I shouldn't eat 5 guys... so good though.

Not fat, just bulking

>go to first day of Principles of Psychology freshman year in (christian) college
>health-obsessed, religious zealot professor
(more like borderline anorexic, the dude looked emaciated)
>Landwhale wobbles in 5 minutes late, during the professor’s intro and squeezes herself into a desk huffing and puffing
>professor begins fiery rant about how anyone overweight is “doomed to hell because their stomach has become their god.”
>her face when trying to pretend he wasn’t specifically talking to her
>continues lecture on why humans are not designed to eat dinner, how consumption of meat is not in God’s plan, and why kissing before marriage is bad.