He's not fat, just bulking

>hamplanet of a guy who goes to my school friends me on fb
>never met him before but we have a lot of mutual friends
>new years comes, sees he's going to start a diet and gym program
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>new classes come in about a month due to semester changing
>it's in two of my classes
>one of them is a morning class
>it shows up with a bacon egg and cheese sandwich, donut, sausage egg and cheese from dunkin donuts
>along with a homemade "dietary" omelet(know this because he was telling everyone in his fucking row)
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>exams come
>one teacher is nice enough to let us eat once were finished because school has stupid policy about staying in class until everyone's done
>it pulls out a five guys double bacon cheeseburger along with two orders of fries
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>go on fb later, see post from it saying about how it hates being on a diet

I swear, he has bigger tits than every girl at my school

Maybe they are on a keto diet.. not likely

>Be Black-me in Black school sitting isolated from my fellow blacks
>It's almost exam time/final project deadline, no time for Black antics these days
>I'm working my ass off on an assignment that's due in history (first class of the day) when I hear what can only be described as a screech
>The tone hits some sort of resonance frequency that causes my stomach to flip like I just ate raw chicken or something
>Does not help that can I smell the fattest, most disgusting girl in class from her new seat only two rows ahead of me
>I have to blink rapidly, stare at my notebook like its going to run away and breath audibly in controlled bursts to keep from letting loose my half digested oats all over my half finished notes
>Eventually, the moment passes and I look up, at first confused as to how a whale got so deep in land
>Wait, that's not a whale, that's the disgusting chick's sister
>Jesus, why is she so large? Fuck it! HOW is she so large?
>I look at her hand and eavesdrop enough to learn they were squealing like pigs to the slaughter because they just realized they can preorder pizza at the pizza hut near my school, and thus, won't have to wait for it to cook during lunch
>mfw they both order two small pizzas with nothing but meat, including bacon, pepperoni and ground beef
>mfw they say they're on a diet not even two minutes later