Fat People Stories - FPS - Updated Daily

>Hamplanet, being a hamplanet, has a typical hamplanet diet.
>Simple sugars. Starches. Greasy meat.
>No fiber. EVER.
>We quickly figured out that hamplanet does not just take shits
>She takes multihour dump-a-thons, and always comes out fucking soaked with sweat and heaving. She’s so fuck huge that she’s lost the ability to simply crap.
>With that taken care of, 2 of roommates and me are lurking in living room
>Someone brings up some funny ass shit. Not sure what it was, but I shot milk out my nose.
>Went to crapper to grab tissue
>Door is unlocked. Assume all is well inside.
>How did Ganymede get in here?
>Oh wait, that’s hamplanet. Legs. Wide. Open.
>THE SMELL. THE GODDAMN SMELL. Like a 15 year old tuna salad sandwich made love to a cesspit. Like a freshly opened can of surstromming, atop century eggs.
>PANTIES STRETCHED TO THE POINT OF FAILURE, GREY WITH FILTH, BEGGING TO BE PUT OUT OF THEIR MISERY.
>JIGGLING CELLULITE. THE GRAND CANYON MAPPED IN STRETCH MARKS. A massive 1970’s grade unkempt bush, a dreadlocked, crusted afro is my savior from further ocular trauma.
>Slam door shut
>Do not pass go, do not collect $200, run DIRECTLY to campus gym, spend rest of day showering.