MFW I watch people do this to themselves.

>At theatre last week, older friend did screen writing for a play, went opening night to support him.
>You know the "drama" types. They're either super thin skeletons, or super fat hippos.
>Actors were all hungry skeletons, audience full of hippos.
>After the play, my group of friends and I decide to go do a dessert diner in town.
>Apparently the word "dessert" carried through the air, like those looney-toons where the wafting scent reaches over to somebody's nose, and seductively gestures them to follow it to food.
>We get to the dessert place, and not a moment after, the hippos file in through the door. Y'know the type, open-minded feminist drama lovers with dyed hair.
>We order our stuff. Everybody in my group is reasonably health-conscious, me being the most, and we all order 1 slice of cake or pie apiece.
>Hippos lined up behind me (four of them), order a WHOLE cake to themselves. Mind you they make their desserts -very- rich in texture, this thing must be loaded with like, fucking 10k calories, mostly sugar and fat.
>We sit at a table to eat, but as we were eating, on the other side of the diner I saw the hippos gather.
>They all decide to sit in a boot because "they don't trust chairs", and as they slide in I can hear the seat-padding squeak against their flab, like the sound of balloons being rubbed together.
>Some of their belly rests atop the table, some below it. They're obviously uncomfortable, but they can't stop now that the cake is on the table.
>The game of Hungry Hungry Hippos begins: they don't even cut slices onto plates, they start digging right in with their forks.
>Within TEN MINUTES, all four of them manage to eat this red velvet fudge cake.
>My appetite escapes me as I bare witness to this disgusting site.
>As my friends and I are leaving, THE HIPPOS GET UP AND GET BACK IN LINE FOR MORE.