Fuck that job. I never hated fat people as much until I worked at a fucking bakery.

>used to work in bakery
>every Wednesday some fat ass woman would always come and order a dozen fucking cupcakes
>one day in the process of closing
>shit is literally less than one minute before I get to lock the door
>already have everything cleaned, half the lights off, machines shut down and in the process of counting the till
>suddenly see lights from outside the window
>"who the fucking fuck..."
>fucking whale woman comes charging in
>"OMG I THOUGHT I WOULD MISS IT LOL!"
>me: "yeah...great. What do you want?"
>"UMMMM HOLD ON I HAVE TO THINK"
>give her a pretty obvious "are you fucking serious right now?" but she doesn't notice
>orders a fucking dozen cupcakes again
>have to go into the back and pull shit out again to get them for her
>finally finish packaging and bagging them
>about to ring this bitch up
>suddenly she goes, "OH CAN I GET THOSE ALL CREAM FILLED! SORRY I FORGOT!"
>fucking just freeze and bite my cheek so fucking hard to prevent roaring at her to get out.
>me: "S-Sorry. We're out of cream."
>"REALLY?! DON'T YOU MAKE IT THOUGH ON REQ-"
>me: "We're out today. It sucks. That will be $24.00."
>she seems to FINALLY get the fucking picture
>follow close as fucking possible to her as she walks out
>slam the door fucking shut just as she walks out and lock it as loud as I can
>turn off the front lights while staring directly at her

Well who else would you be?

>Be me
>Have a gluten intolerance so I get wasted pretty easily
>Gymbro has a party at his house
>Bring lots of alcohol
>My gymbro is also a liteweight baby when it comes to hard alcohol and we're giggling like schoolgirl after our second shot
>Some fatty shows up, we don't like him, but it is the she-kin of this girl who is okay
>Found out it was a woman
>Apparently one of those well fed bull dykes
>I'm gone at this point so I don't care
>I do remember her scowling at people for not giving her attention while she sipped her diet coke and constantly had a full slice of pizza in her hand.


>Gymbro's roommate bought 6 boxes of the cheapoo $5 pizzas
>Weren't that many people there, maybe 15?
>At around midnight they're all gone
>Gymbro toys around and starts yelling "Who the fuck ate all my pizza?"
>The He-woman tries to play it off like "It was those drunk guys with the muscles."
>Most people there know I can't eat pizza
>My roommate just says to the She-man "Shut up, you faggot!"
>I ask why her fancy shirt from torrid is covered in ranch
>Suggests my gymbro lick it off
>She fucking pepper sprays us and calls the cops claiming we tried to assault her
>The next day I had to cancel an important meeting because I was in so much fucking pain
>Ordinary girl gets her she-kin to calm down and they leave
>Make a pact, frame it on the entrance, that no fat bitches are allowed in this house

MFW I watch people do this to themselves.

>At theatre last week, older friend did screen writing for a play, went opening night to support him.
>You know the "drama" types. They're either super thin skeletons, or super fat hippos.
>Actors were all hungry skeletons, audience full of hippos.
>After the play, my group of friends and I decide to go do a dessert diner in town.
>Apparently the word "dessert" carried through the air, like those looney-toons where the wafting scent reaches over to somebody's nose, and seductively gestures them to follow it to food.
>We get to the dessert place, and not a moment after, the hippos file in through the door. Y'know the type, open-minded feminist drama lovers with dyed hair.
>We order our stuff. Everybody in my group is reasonably health-conscious, me being the most, and we all order 1 slice of cake or pie apiece.
>Hippos lined up behind me (four of them), order a WHOLE cake to themselves. Mind you they make their desserts -very- rich in texture, this thing must be loaded with like, fucking 10k calories, mostly sugar and fat.
>We sit at a table to eat, but as we were eating, on the other side of the diner I saw the hippos gather.
>They all decide to sit in a boot because "they don't trust chairs", and as they slide in I can hear the seat-padding squeak against their flab, like the sound of balloons being rubbed together.
>Some of their belly rests atop the table, some below it. They're obviously uncomfortable, but they can't stop now that the cake is on the table.
>The game of Hungry Hungry Hippos begins: they don't even cut slices onto plates, they start digging right in with their forks.
>Within TEN MINUTES, all four of them manage to eat this red velvet fudge cake.
>My appetite escapes me as I bare witness to this disgusting site.
>As my friends and I are leaving, THE HIPPOS GET UP AND GET BACK IN LINE FOR MORE.

A small moon enters orbit

>two fatties in front of me at the grocery store checkout line
>cart is full of hambeast delights: frozen pizza, lunch meat, beef, twinkies, cakes, all manner of sweets
>fatties talk and laugh loudly, but the cashier is fast so I'm thinking it'll all be over soon
>"sorry, our son is grabbing something for us. Can you wait a minute for him?"
>the cashier shrugs; you know she's seen this shit countless times before
>fatties don't even apologize for being fat, wasting my time
>son, every bit as fat as his planetary parents, comes through the line and rubs his gut over me as he presses through
>fatty's breathing hard, carrying 4 12-packs of moutain dew
>to cap it off all, fat faggot dad busts out his foodstamps card to pay for it all.
>when I'm playing for my chicken and eggs I can help commenting on how disgusting they were
>cashier says they do this every week

Topkek, fatties, when will they learn?

>wait at a crowded bus stop and its raining hard
>bus pulls up and bus is already crowded
>start walking into the bus when I see a hamplanet taking up two seats up front
>just to make her life more miserable ask her to stand up
>flustered hamplanet asks me why
we need more space for everyone to get into the bus and with the seats collapsible, more people can fit into the bus
>enraged hamplanet tells me no and that she was tired
>tells me why dont I ask the old lady with bags of groceries adjacent to her
>people are getting irritated and another guy asked her to please
>refuses and at this point a swole bus driver tells the hamplanet you can either stand up or leave the bus
>hamplanet was so enraged she does try to leave the bus
note the word "try", she couldn't get out because it was too packed
>in the end the seat was collapsed and she sat down on the floor huffing and puffing



>Match up with fatty on tinder
>She messages me hi
>mfw she thinks she deserves to be treated like a human
>mfw I'll probably end up fucking with her in some way before unmatching

I knew he wouldn't fit, but having a west nile explanation was new to me. Has anyone else ever seen a whale claim west nile made them fat? I laughed my ass off that night.

>new to a college, join the car club to meet people
>introduce myself to a fatty driving a mazdaspeed 3, because JDM
>He's miring my two seater sports car, because JDM
>Offer to let him sit in it, after he said he'd never seen one before
>"It looks so low, idk if I can
>Fatty drops his ass into the seat, as I see my suspension compress to bear his enormous frame
>Tries to swing legs in the car, is too fat to bypass the steering wheel
>Gets all red and upset, then basically falls forward out of the seat onto the concrete to escape the jaws that are bucket seats
>Goes on some big pity party about how west nile made him fat

here's a really condensed one

>go out for job
>pass by car driving 2 mph with a dog walking besides it
>run up closer
>realize dog is on the leash
>run past the car
>fat as fuck old woman is walking her dog while driving her car cause she doesn't wanna actually walk to get her dog some exercise

I actually eat very healthy

Fatphobic Camel strikes again. Fatties are committing animal cruelty.

I love this picture in particular because it's so obvious she couldn't even stand for the "I Stand" picture. She's leaning on some object to support that mass and they had to photoshop it out.

Call the fire department for that burn

Only the dead can know peace from this evil.

Kek Le Rekt. This was from an episode of Q&A in Australia

Animal Cruelty in Britian is real.

She's the Health Minister of Belgium. This is a joke right?

It's true

>be at the gym one night
>there’s a new guy sitting at the bench press
>chris, the attendant, says he’s the new janitor
>but he does a lot more than mop floors
>this fat, short, smelly guy goes table to table, making sure everyone is talking about just fitness
>kinda sucks the fun out of the whole place but we try to ignore him
>lift some weights, make gains
>rep is over, talk about our favorite workouts
>eventually the conversation drifts more towards general shit like life
>the janitor comes waddling over, hot pocket in his hand
>what do you think you’re doing?
>uhh, just talking about shit, I don’t believe this is any of your-
>ARE YOU AWARE THAT THIS IS A GYM MEANT FOR FITNESS AND GYM DISCUSSION ONLY
>dude my set is over, I don’t think it’s that bad if we talk-
>NO, he says, lips smacking, THIS IS A GYM AND YOU WILL DISCUSS ONLY GYM SHIT HERE
>dude, you’re spraying hot pockets in my face, please move-
>YOU CANNOT BAD MOUTH A MEMBER OF THE STAFF LIKE THAT
>the only one with a bad mouth here is you
>I WILL HAVE YOU REMOVED
>fuck off, you can’t make is do shit
>this guy starts fuming because we’re right. He doesn’t even have any real power
>he has to call the fitness trainer to remove us
>see him stuffing down another hot pocket as we leave
>the fitness trainer tells us we’ve been banned from the free weights area for 72 hours
>demand to see the owner
>he says we can’t because we’ve been banned for 72 hours or less
>what kind of fucking bullshit is that
>ask them how much they pay that bozo janitor
>nothing, he does it for free

Secret Agent Fatty

>tfw brother is marrying a big fat chick
>tfw brother is getting way fat since he met big fat chick
>tfw they're probably going to have kids
>tfw kids are probably going to be big fat kids
>tfw i'm going to have to pretend to accept their big fat kids
>fpfw another healthy family infiltrated by fatness and destroyed from within

Hahahahahahahahaha

>be at university
>have actually come to accept fat people, the one's I had talked to regularly were really nice
>go to university's rockwall will friend
>hambeast goes up to the easiest wall, and you can see her sides bulging out of the harness
>Jesus christ that's gotta be a safety hazzard, hope the rocks don't give way
>she goes up and falls off a fifth of the way
>meanwhile, on the adjacent rock wall this fit hispanic girl rings the bell at the top, her wall was 2nd hardest difficulty with moments where you had to use the creases in the wall
>"Wow, climbing that must be sooo hard when you weigh like 90 lbs"
>fit hispanic girl says that it actually doesn't matter and that she'd just been climbing a long time
>fat girl gets defensive about her weight and went off about how both of her parents were big boned so she got the bad end of the deal
>she goes off on how maybe if she went on a water diet like tinker bell over here the rope would just pull her up automatically
>tell her "How about you pick on someone your own size?"
>fat girl gets flustered and storms off
>girl giggles and thanks me
>All in a days work.jpg

Don't drink phosphoric acid, kids.

>fat 4th grade teacher has half a cola and half a diet cola, mixed together, with lunch of pizza from place across the road, every day, gives the remaining half colas and sometimes a square of pizza to students
>has had kidney stones

>fast forward several years
>fat boss always drinking diet cola
>can't drink water without sweetener
>always putting that crystal light shit in it
>sometimes even drinks caffeine free diet cola
>gets kidney stones

Here comes the bridge

How are they even alive

>at Chinese place with fat friends
>she claims to do sit ups and push ups every day, but she keeps getting fatter
>he keeps saying he wants to lose weight, but never does anything about it
>tell them they should work out
>like what?
>like at a gym. dead-lifts, bench presses, squats
>Oh? squats are exercise? well then I do a lot of exercise, because i make the coffee everyday!
>wut.jpg
>well, i make at least 20 cups of coffee everyday, and i squat down to get the coffee from under the counter
>and how much sugar do you have in your coffee
>2 teaspoons
>... 40 spoons of sugar a day?
>yeah well, i can't stand coffee without sugar

Nana Davis strikes again

Fat women are literally a traffic hazard and they don't even have to be on the road.

>in my car at the dog park
>right next to poor person apartment complex
>start backing out
>look behind me
>morbidly obese woman in a sun dress sitting spread eagle on the pavement
>motherofgod.jpg
>too disgusted to focus on anything else, forget what I'm doing
>back into another car
>FUCK