>Be 18 and attending a party of a friend of a friend
>Be beefy guy, not overweight but just no muscle definition - 6'2" 95kg
>Do lots of lifting, boxing, and hike 5km every day
>Have 7/10 girlfriend on vacation, back in few days so not looking to get lucky
>Mingling with people, meet some crazy dudes and having a blast
>Fight breaks out and one of my athletic friends and I jump in and separate the two drunkards
>Pretty good night
>Suddenly a wild hambeast appears!
>Girl goes to my highschool, and only reason I know is that I've seen her waddling around from time to time (easy 150kg)
>The birthday girl comes over to me and warns me that this behemoth has a thing for me
>She says she didn't want her to come and was only invited through another friend
>She apologizes to me and says to just ignore her if possible
>I totally understand and do my best to just stay out of behemoths orbit
>I meet up with some really old friends from my elementary school days
>Party in full swing going well
>Suddenly feel greasy hand grab my arm
>Reaction kicks in and I flick it away, turn around to see diabeetus standing there smiling at me
>I'm staring death in the face and the fight or flight system is kicking in
>Before she can utter a single word, saved by calls from the side gate
>It's athletic guy who helped me break up the fight from earlier
>He says he needs my help urgently
>I flat out sprint to the gate and he's laughing his head off
>We bolt inside through the side door and head upstairs
>We ended up spending the majority of the night chilling upstairs and on the balcony that overlooks the front
>All this just to avoid bushpig, he hated the stupid bitch from shit she did earlier that year
>He was laughing at shit the fat slag did all night
>I saw the giant greaseball sobbing later that night and learned that she passed out and broke stuff when she fell
>Athletic guy wasn't a wingman that night, he was an extraction team and I owe him many drinks
You dont owe him shit, just pass this gift on next time you see a bro in trouble
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