Animal Cruelty in Britian is real.

She's the Health Minister of Belgium. This is a joke right?

It's true

>be at the gym one night
>there’s a new guy sitting at the bench press
>chris, the attendant, says he’s the new janitor
>but he does a lot more than mop floors
>this fat, short, smelly guy goes table to table, making sure everyone is talking about just fitness
>kinda sucks the fun out of the whole place but we try to ignore him
>lift some weights, make gains
>rep is over, talk about our favorite workouts
>eventually the conversation drifts more towards general shit like life
>the janitor comes waddling over, hot pocket in his hand
>what do you think you’re doing?
>uhh, just talking about shit, I don’t believe this is any of your-
>ARE YOU AWARE THAT THIS IS A GYM MEANT FOR FITNESS AND GYM DISCUSSION ONLY
>dude my set is over, I don’t think it’s that bad if we talk-
>NO, he says, lips smacking, THIS IS A GYM AND YOU WILL DISCUSS ONLY GYM SHIT HERE
>dude, you’re spraying hot pockets in my face, please move-
>YOU CANNOT BAD MOUTH A MEMBER OF THE STAFF LIKE THAT
>the only one with a bad mouth here is you
>I WILL HAVE YOU REMOVED
>fuck off, you can’t make is do shit
>this guy starts fuming because we’re right. He doesn’t even have any real power
>he has to call the fitness trainer to remove us
>see him stuffing down another hot pocket as we leave
>the fitness trainer tells us we’ve been banned from the free weights area for 72 hours
>demand to see the owner
>he says we can’t because we’ve been banned for 72 hours or less
>what kind of fucking bullshit is that
>ask them how much they pay that bozo janitor
>nothing, he does it for free

Secret Agent Fatty

>tfw brother is marrying a big fat chick
>tfw brother is getting way fat since he met big fat chick
>tfw they're probably going to have kids
>tfw kids are probably going to be big fat kids
>tfw i'm going to have to pretend to accept their big fat kids
>fpfw another healthy family infiltrated by fatness and destroyed from within

Hahahahahahahahaha

>be at university
>have actually come to accept fat people, the one's I had talked to regularly were really nice
>go to university's rockwall will friend
>hambeast goes up to the easiest wall, and you can see her sides bulging out of the harness
>Jesus christ that's gotta be a safety hazzard, hope the rocks don't give way
>she goes up and falls off a fifth of the way
>meanwhile, on the adjacent rock wall this fit hispanic girl rings the bell at the top, her wall was 2nd hardest difficulty with moments where you had to use the creases in the wall
>"Wow, climbing that must be sooo hard when you weigh like 90 lbs"
>fit hispanic girl says that it actually doesn't matter and that she'd just been climbing a long time
>fat girl gets defensive about her weight and went off about how both of her parents were big boned so she got the bad end of the deal
>she goes off on how maybe if she went on a water diet like tinker bell over here the rope would just pull her up automatically
>tell her "How about you pick on someone your own size?"
>fat girl gets flustered and storms off
>girl giggles and thanks me
>All in a days work.jpg

Don't drink phosphoric acid, kids.

>fat 4th grade teacher has half a cola and half a diet cola, mixed together, with lunch of pizza from place across the road, every day, gives the remaining half colas and sometimes a square of pizza to students
>has had kidney stones

>fast forward several years
>fat boss always drinking diet cola
>can't drink water without sweetener
>always putting that crystal light shit in it
>sometimes even drinks caffeine free diet cola
>gets kidney stones

Here comes the bridge

How are they even alive

>at Chinese place with fat friends
>she claims to do sit ups and push ups every day, but she keeps getting fatter
>he keeps saying he wants to lose weight, but never does anything about it
>tell them they should work out
>like what?
>like at a gym. dead-lifts, bench presses, squats
>Oh? squats are exercise? well then I do a lot of exercise, because i make the coffee everyday!
>wut.jpg
>well, i make at least 20 cups of coffee everyday, and i squat down to get the coffee from under the counter
>and how much sugar do you have in your coffee
>2 teaspoons
>... 40 spoons of sugar a day?
>yeah well, i can't stand coffee without sugar

Nana Davis strikes again

Fat women are literally a traffic hazard and they don't even have to be on the road.

>in my car at the dog park
>right next to poor person apartment complex
>start backing out
>look behind me
>morbidly obese woman in a sun dress sitting spread eagle on the pavement
>motherofgod.jpg
>too disgusted to focus on anything else, forget what I'm doing
>back into another car
>FUCK